One night in a bar/pub in Bedford I went to use the gents. It was an old style porcelain "trough" arrangement down one wall of a very narrow room - empty, so I went to the far end. Mid evacuation, two other guys came in and began their business. It crossed my mind that I was nearly done, and if they weren't quick, I'd have to do the "awkward squeeze" behind them...
What I didn't expect was for the two other guys to kiss each other quite so much, and begin... er... "extra curricular" activities!!
I decided blatant nonchalance was the order of the day so uttered a "scuse me chap" to the first guy, then they squeezed up a bit to let me out...