First time in like, years, I ever have a problem with someone, and I need advise how to deal with the situation.
I have a guy at work who is terribly annoying me, not a problem usually, I can easily ignore idiots, but this guy has crossed the line.
To give a profile, 19 year old guy from Suriname, average height & a little bit chubby, arrogant, disrespectful, before we we had a ''conflict'' he used to speak about nothing but how much money he earns and his 80k BMW ( he doesn't even have a license!), wears expensive clothes ( Gucci, Hugo Boss, etc...) and has ''swag'' (which is why the boss likes him), lives 3 streets from me and works in the same place as I do ( though I work 5 days he works 3, we have a team of about 60 people). I know he's a liar as I caught him with many lies, he's a bit of a saboteur at work ( like pushing the emergency button repeatedly on the machine to stop work for a minute or 2) and lets everybody else do his work for him (not me, nobody tells me what to do except my boss, don't get me wrong I help all of my fellow workers, except the ones who ''demand'' help from me), is on good terms with the boss ( as in, kissing his ***).
I could live with most of that, he wasn't in my way, and he acted normally to me. He rode with me to work many many times, he just walked to my car, got in, we had a chat, at the end I'd ride home and he'd come along, he'd pay for a meal from Maccy D's once in a while for me, it was all fine.
He started becoming more demanding, I had to to pick him up at home because of this and that, fine, I can do that once or twice, but I started to come in late because I was waiting for the bugger or had to drive for him specially somehwere I didn't need to be, or he wanted to ''quickly go to Maccy d's'' despite me telling him I'm in a bloody hurry as I had this and this plans and he's lucky he gets a ride home because I don't even need to be there. From that moment I told him I wasn't a ****** free taxi, he ''bought'' himself out of trouble the next couple of times, all was fine for a couple of weeks, until it started again.
I'm often in a ''leave me alone I'm just doing my work'' mood and everybody respects that, I'm left alone in my own world thinking things over and just doing my job, but not this guy, this is the first guy who comes into my face, doesn't respect my privacy or space, demands attention, etcetc, despite me saying ''leave me alone'' more than once.
In this moment I had a rough time at home ( still not over) with mum moving out and divorce between parents etcetc and I had to start helping paying the bills for dad etc... I was broke.
Guy asks on whatsapp (on Wednesday) if he can ride along, I'm saying no, I don't have the money for fuel, I'll cycle to work. He says np, I'll pay your tank. So he gets in the car later that day and we drive to the petrol station, I tell him, a fiver will do, he acts all innocent and says I had to tell him to bring money and how he doesn't have anything on him, I couldn't be arsed to argue so fueled up for 3 euros and 28 cents, the last money I had, also just enough to go to work and back... I couldn't even remember exactly what de deal was that day, and couldn't be bothered to check. The next day (Thu, guy doesn't work) I check my message history and he clearly said "I'll pay your tank''. I told myself to remember it for the next day as that's when he will probably ask to ride along again, yep, Friday is the day and he wants to ride along, I tell him no and jokingly say he has to pay toll. Now he starts making me look bad in front of the rest of the guys at work how I ask people to pay me to ride along, and how I live 3 streets ahead, etcetc... I am a bit stumped and drop to his level and start telling about all the things he did to me/made me do/I did for him, ( how I waited at his house on him for 40 minutes and came in late, how I drove to his home when he forgot his phone in my car, how HE suggested to pay and didn't), etc... He was silent the rest of the evening, I saw he was ****ed and he didn't speak much ( to anyone) that night.
Next Monday on whatsapp: ''can I ride along, sorry for last week, I'll shoot you up a fiver''. I say no, I'll cycle to work, I'm having a drink after work ( and that wasn't an excuse, I was off to the pub directly after work and bringing him home is something I just didn't want to do). He tries to convince me to go by car and how I'm an idiot I cycle to work when I can go by car, how the boss definitely likes him more than me and that if I go to my boss I'll only show my weakness, blablahblah, I just say ''bye'' as I cba, have other things on my mind.
At work, I'm unfortunately stuck in close quarters with him, doing the same packet sorting next to him, it starts reasonably fine, but as the evening progresses, he starts doing things like pushing me away, getting in my face how he wants to fight after work, being threatening not to be in his way, and himself blocking me on purpose and pushing heavy containers into me on purpose, I tell him to **** off and behave like an adult and start pushing him back, when I do that he is all loud to other workers shouting ''don't touch me'' as if I am the bad guy for pushing him back. In the end I manage to end my normal shift and the work is not done, that means usually I'll stay till it's done, I get payed for overwork anyhow and gladly work a bit extra, but I was sick of the guy, I walk to my manager, and tell him I can't work with that guy, and I'm going home... Manager saw my face ( I was not amused at the time) and let me go home without trying to convince me to stay longer like usually.
In the pub, I'm with my mates in my own world, I get a call from another worker, I thought a mate of the guy I have trouble with, but apparently not, he says he was still being an arse after I left to him and to others and how we should ''get him together'' on Wednesday after work as ''that will stop him'', I tell him I'm not a violent guy, to sleep over it, and we'll talk at work.
Later, just as I had a couple of pints pints, I'm cycling home from the pub and guess who, mr. problem guy is overtaking me, cycling home from work ( he stayed to the end). He gives me an angry glare as he overtakes me and cycles on, I say ''hey XYZ'' as I wanted to tell him to behave normally to me ( as in, if you respect me it'll respect you but if you behave like this I don't want anything to do with you) but he ignored me completely and pretends he doesn't hear me when I said ''Hey XYZ''.
Tuesday ( today), boss comes to me in the end and asks what happened yesterday, I explained what happened, he told me he already told the guy off to behave or it's over yesterday as he also noticed him not behaving correctly.
Now, tomorrow I work with him again ( not directly though, boss told me he will not schedule him to do any work near me), I have no bloody clue how to behave to this guy, ideally I want to ignore him but he's the type of guy who will continue to bugger/annoy you and I will undoubtedly run into him many times Wednesday evening. I might be in a good mood which means I can handle him ( it depends on my mood really, I have days when I know how to handle these types of wisearses, I basically copy their behaviour and they bugger off usually, and there are days I just want people to shut the hell up and can't say much else but leave me alone), but this guy, he just won't won't stop I'm sure, I'm not exactly sure how to handle this guy, usually once you tell someone like this off once, people leave you alone or oddly, behave like your best mate afterwards, not him as this is not the first time I told him off... Aside from that I felt this guy was intimidating me on monday, getting in my face, pushing me around, and wanting to fight. I really don't know what to do any more but to punch him if he goes to far again, but I do not want to lose my job.
How can I handle this guy without ''getting him'' like another worker suggested Monday... I just want him to leave me alone, if he starts behaving politely even better, I will do the same to him. But I know that will not happen as I'm one of the few people at work who refuses to be his ''bitch'', many other guys at work basically do anything for him when he asks them to.
How would you handle the situation from here, I have no clue how he will behave to me tomorrow ( but I expect him to, again, try to **** with me), and I have no idea how to make him ignore me, or preferably behave politely, I don't want to be his mate or anything, I don't like his type, but a normal Hi and bye wouldn't hurt, nothing more nothing less. There are other people at work I don't like and vice versa, but we all stay polite, say hi and bye, can ask each other about work, and can work together, but not this guy, this guy will just do his best to make you look bad in front of the rest and the boss.
tl:dr : How would you guys handle an arrogant coworker who has been threatening to you last time but you are stuck with him ( not directly, but he's in the same team of about 60 people& on the same workfloor) for at least another 6 months ?
I have a guy at work who is terribly annoying me, not a problem usually, I can easily ignore idiots, but this guy has crossed the line.
To give a profile, 19 year old guy from Suriname, average height & a little bit chubby, arrogant, disrespectful, before we we had a ''conflict'' he used to speak about nothing but how much money he earns and his 80k BMW ( he doesn't even have a license!), wears expensive clothes ( Gucci, Hugo Boss, etc...) and has ''swag'' (which is why the boss likes him), lives 3 streets from me and works in the same place as I do ( though I work 5 days he works 3, we have a team of about 60 people). I know he's a liar as I caught him with many lies, he's a bit of a saboteur at work ( like pushing the emergency button repeatedly on the machine to stop work for a minute or 2) and lets everybody else do his work for him (not me, nobody tells me what to do except my boss, don't get me wrong I help all of my fellow workers, except the ones who ''demand'' help from me), is on good terms with the boss ( as in, kissing his ***).
I could live with most of that, he wasn't in my way, and he acted normally to me. He rode with me to work many many times, he just walked to my car, got in, we had a chat, at the end I'd ride home and he'd come along, he'd pay for a meal from Maccy D's once in a while for me, it was all fine.
He started becoming more demanding, I had to to pick him up at home because of this and that, fine, I can do that once or twice, but I started to come in late because I was waiting for the bugger or had to drive for him specially somehwere I didn't need to be, or he wanted to ''quickly go to Maccy d's'' despite me telling him I'm in a bloody hurry as I had this and this plans and he's lucky he gets a ride home because I don't even need to be there. From that moment I told him I wasn't a ****** free taxi, he ''bought'' himself out of trouble the next couple of times, all was fine for a couple of weeks, until it started again.
I'm often in a ''leave me alone I'm just doing my work'' mood and everybody respects that, I'm left alone in my own world thinking things over and just doing my job, but not this guy, this is the first guy who comes into my face, doesn't respect my privacy or space, demands attention, etcetc, despite me saying ''leave me alone'' more than once.
In this moment I had a rough time at home ( still not over) with mum moving out and divorce between parents etcetc and I had to start helping paying the bills for dad etc... I was broke.
Guy asks on whatsapp (on Wednesday) if he can ride along, I'm saying no, I don't have the money for fuel, I'll cycle to work. He says np, I'll pay your tank. So he gets in the car later that day and we drive to the petrol station, I tell him, a fiver will do, he acts all innocent and says I had to tell him to bring money and how he doesn't have anything on him, I couldn't be arsed to argue so fueled up for 3 euros and 28 cents, the last money I had, also just enough to go to work and back... I couldn't even remember exactly what de deal was that day, and couldn't be bothered to check. The next day (Thu, guy doesn't work) I check my message history and he clearly said "I'll pay your tank''. I told myself to remember it for the next day as that's when he will probably ask to ride along again, yep, Friday is the day and he wants to ride along, I tell him no and jokingly say he has to pay toll. Now he starts making me look bad in front of the rest of the guys at work how I ask people to pay me to ride along, and how I live 3 streets ahead, etcetc... I am a bit stumped and drop to his level and start telling about all the things he did to me/made me do/I did for him, ( how I waited at his house on him for 40 minutes and came in late, how I drove to his home when he forgot his phone in my car, how HE suggested to pay and didn't), etc... He was silent the rest of the evening, I saw he was ****ed and he didn't speak much ( to anyone) that night.
Next Monday on whatsapp: ''can I ride along, sorry for last week, I'll shoot you up a fiver''. I say no, I'll cycle to work, I'm having a drink after work ( and that wasn't an excuse, I was off to the pub directly after work and bringing him home is something I just didn't want to do). He tries to convince me to go by car and how I'm an idiot I cycle to work when I can go by car, how the boss definitely likes him more than me and that if I go to my boss I'll only show my weakness, blablahblah, I just say ''bye'' as I cba, have other things on my mind.
At work, I'm unfortunately stuck in close quarters with him, doing the same packet sorting next to him, it starts reasonably fine, but as the evening progresses, he starts doing things like pushing me away, getting in my face how he wants to fight after work, being threatening not to be in his way, and himself blocking me on purpose and pushing heavy containers into me on purpose, I tell him to **** off and behave like an adult and start pushing him back, when I do that he is all loud to other workers shouting ''don't touch me'' as if I am the bad guy for pushing him back. In the end I manage to end my normal shift and the work is not done, that means usually I'll stay till it's done, I get payed for overwork anyhow and gladly work a bit extra, but I was sick of the guy, I walk to my manager, and tell him I can't work with that guy, and I'm going home... Manager saw my face ( I was not amused at the time) and let me go home without trying to convince me to stay longer like usually.
In the pub, I'm with my mates in my own world, I get a call from another worker, I thought a mate of the guy I have trouble with, but apparently not, he says he was still being an arse after I left to him and to others and how we should ''get him together'' on Wednesday after work as ''that will stop him'', I tell him I'm not a violent guy, to sleep over it, and we'll talk at work.
Later, just as I had a couple of pints pints, I'm cycling home from the pub and guess who, mr. problem guy is overtaking me, cycling home from work ( he stayed to the end). He gives me an angry glare as he overtakes me and cycles on, I say ''hey XYZ'' as I wanted to tell him to behave normally to me ( as in, if you respect me it'll respect you but if you behave like this I don't want anything to do with you) but he ignored me completely and pretends he doesn't hear me when I said ''Hey XYZ''.
Tuesday ( today), boss comes to me in the end and asks what happened yesterday, I explained what happened, he told me he already told the guy off to behave or it's over yesterday as he also noticed him not behaving correctly.
Now, tomorrow I work with him again ( not directly though, boss told me he will not schedule him to do any work near me), I have no bloody clue how to behave to this guy, ideally I want to ignore him but he's the type of guy who will continue to bugger/annoy you and I will undoubtedly run into him many times Wednesday evening. I might be in a good mood which means I can handle him ( it depends on my mood really, I have days when I know how to handle these types of wisearses, I basically copy their behaviour and they bugger off usually, and there are days I just want people to shut the hell up and can't say much else but leave me alone), but this guy, he just won't won't stop I'm sure, I'm not exactly sure how to handle this guy, usually once you tell someone like this off once, people leave you alone or oddly, behave like your best mate afterwards, not him as this is not the first time I told him off... Aside from that I felt this guy was intimidating me on monday, getting in my face, pushing me around, and wanting to fight. I really don't know what to do any more but to punch him if he goes to far again, but I do not want to lose my job.
How can I handle this guy without ''getting him'' like another worker suggested Monday... I just want him to leave me alone, if he starts behaving politely even better, I will do the same to him. But I know that will not happen as I'm one of the few people at work who refuses to be his ''bitch'', many other guys at work basically do anything for him when he asks them to.
How would you handle the situation from here, I have no clue how he will behave to me tomorrow ( but I expect him to, again, try to **** with me), and I have no idea how to make him ignore me, or preferably behave politely, I don't want to be his mate or anything, I don't like his type, but a normal Hi and bye wouldn't hurt, nothing more nothing less. There are other people at work I don't like and vice versa, but we all stay polite, say hi and bye, can ask each other about work, and can work together, but not this guy, this guy will just do his best to make you look bad in front of the rest and the boss.
tl:dr : How would you guys handle an arrogant coworker who has been threatening to you last time but you are stuck with him ( not directly, but he's in the same team of about 60 people& on the same workfloor) for at least another 6 months ?
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. I guess you're right, everybody does it so why can't I...
