read the first post then skipped all the way to here, but personally I wouldn't want you as a friend if you'd done this to me. there's a lot of spit swapped after a 6 year relationship and you're wanting a taste of it. you disgust me etc etc etc...lol
Mates ex girlfriend
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In my social circles, sisters have never been off limits as long as the intentions are genuine. Exes, however, can make things extremely awkward so there's always been the unwritten rule about not smashing them.
When you split with someone, you sometimes never want to see them again for whatever reason. Your "mate" bringing her along to a social do isn't going to help that. Women sometimes use this situation as an opportunity to rub it in your face as well, hence why a real friend would avoid them at all costs.
When you split with someone, you sometimes never want to see them again for whatever reason. Your "mate" bringing her along to a social do isn't going to help that. Women sometimes use this situation as an opportunity to rub it in your face as well, hence why a real friend would avoid them at all costs.
My mate not only dated my sister but is married to her and they have 2 kids. They've been together about 10 years now.
Here's what I get from your posts in this thread:
You think that ALL women in your life, past and present, should be under your control, whether it be your family or a girlfriend, even an ex. You seem to be under the impression that once you're connected in some way to a girl that you have the overriding say in how their life is lived, whom they date etc.
To the OP:
As I see it, screw this 'mate' of yours. He had and lost her through his own actions. If you have a shot at being happy and making her happy then no true mate would stand in the way of that.
And to those that are bleating about "the bro code":
It's my understanding that if you cheat on your girlfriend and you break up, she's "fair game" to any of your mates because you're a dishonourable **** for cheating on her in the first place.
Well no, because Article 1, Subsection 1a of The Bro Code (hereafter referred to as "The Code") clearly states "Bros before hos."
The movement to have Amendment 1:1e, "Article 1, Subsection 1A of "The Code" is invalid under verified circumstances of Bro A being unfaithful to his Ho, whereby allowing first degree Bros to declare Bro A's Ho to henceforth be "fair game" and attempt to smash her pasty." back in 1993 failed as there was insufficient prima facie evidence to grant such a fundamental exemption to 1:1A.
Therefore what you are suggesting is in directly violation of The Code and makes your argument invalid. I know you may not be a first degree Bro of mine, but you have to understand and accept that it would be a cause for a Bro Court case if you took a run at my missus even after I cheated on her.
The code is there to keep order. Without it there would be nothing but eternal chaos amongst Bros.
It's your sister's choice who she dates though - if she's really bad at choosing partners, then hopefully she'll learn from her mistakes (although some people seem completely incapable of not getting involved with idiots).
Re. the bolded bit, unless the sister in question was forced into sleeping with all those men, it was her choice. If my sister did that, I don't think I'd be calling her my sister any more
What you have done wrong is not consult with him before hitting on his ex. Whether they are split up or not, 6 years is a LONG time to have an emotional and sexual connection to someone, so you would have to be a bit flipping dim not to understand why it may be a raw issue for your mate, regardless of whether he wants to be with her not.
Not discussing it with him first is at best insensitive, and to me shows you two can't really be 'very' good mates, it's just a matter of courtesy.
However, he also needs to deal with it and act like a grown up after the initial anger has passed.
The finer nuances of mate psychology obviously escape you.
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Actually are you serious or just joking? This is GD after all, and It's hard to believe that a person exists who could genuinely come up with such nonsense. I'm actually a little stunned after reading that. The last time I can even remember that my mind was this numbed was when those crazy people tried to say 9/11 was faked.
Complete bull, I have never attempted nor will I ever attempt to control anybody, male or female. You get from my posts, which explain that I would hate it if my sister was to date a friend, that I'm some monster who wants to control and command every female that I know? I'm thankful that my friends and my sister actually have lives and the capacity to meet people who aren't just thrown infront of them. Several million people in this country, there is no need to date within a two square foot radius anyway, should go out and find yourself a partner in this day and age, no need to latch onto a 'friends' siblings.
Surprisingly followed up with a fair point, you do have every right to judge your friends for the stupid things they do. Despite that, it still stands that he should have asked first, because you have an obligation to your friends to do things like that for as long as you call them friends. If you aren't prepared to then you shouldn't consider them friends in the first place regardless of their mistakes, so the OP shouldn't care and should realise that deep down he probably doesn't really consider her ex his 'friend'.
It's your sister's choice who she dates though - if she's really bad at choosing partners, then hopefully she'll learn from her mistakes (although some people seem completely incapable of not getting involved with idiots).
Re. the bolded bit, unless the sister in question was forced into sleeping with all those men, it was her choice. If my sister did that, I don't think I'd be calling her my sister any more
It's a good job I don't care about what my friends do, else she wouldn't be among them.
+1
So-so, had the OP spoken to him first I'd agree completely, so...
+0.5
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Calm down pal, i've known her for the last 8 years too, so it's not just a vagina!!
Soldato
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if it was my ex you were going out with you wouldn't be my mate anymore.
cue joke about my username....
cue joke about my username....
I'm calm mate, distinct lack of !'s.
should have spoken to him first, regardless of whether he cheated, if he disapproved then meh, give him time, he did cheat so he can't be too sore. The fact you went behind his back though is going to complicate things hugely.
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Omaeka i understand what your saying about asking first, maybe i should have, but truthfully, even if he'd said then that he doesn't want me to see her, i still would have.
I've spoken to him again this morning over a cuppa and things are looking a little better.
I've spoken to him again this morning over a cuppa and things are looking a little better.
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Op ignore everyone and just do what you want.
He most likely would have tried to stop you, but given the circumstances he doesn't have the right. So long as you run things by him respectfully and handle yourself with the utmost integrity, he'll get over it.
Well that's good, lets just hope that he lets it go that you went behind his back, some people wouldn't.
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It's the going behind his back bit that i'm really sorry for, but nothing can be changed now so just going to have to deal with it.I'm calm mate, distinct lack of !'s.
should have spoken to him first, regardless of whether he cheated, if he disapproved then meh, give him time, he did cheat so he can't be too sore. The fact you went behind his back though is going to complicate things hugely.
I think the biggest thing that upset him was the initial shock of it, he was much more talkative today.
Soldato
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He's already decided that as you've gone behind his back he's going to go behind yours and bang his ex. She will jump at the chance if you don't end up to be any good in the sack, your mate is old reliable with 6 years of experience so he knows how to smash her right.
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lolHe's already decided that as you've gone behind his back he's going to go behind yours and bang his ex. She will jump at the chance if you don't end up to be any good in the sack, your mate is old reliable with 6 years of experience so he knows how to smash her right.
, that's not going to happen, after last night and a few spilled secrets, it seems my "mate" was anything but "reliable" and did not know... as you put it.."how to smash her right". Anyway, i appreciated everyone's views on it.
lol
Anyway, i appreciated everyone's views on it.
She's bound to say that.
Nobody wants to hear that their missus' ex was bigger and better than them.
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