How long did it take to plan your wedding?
- Thread starter Shashman
- Start date
It's all about us, what we want, and we won't be putting up with any crap
That was exactly our attitude (I married Vix who posted earlier in the thread btw)
Too many couples blow far too much money on things they don't especially care about because it's an expected part of the standard formulaic wedding. Then they spend the next few years at each other throats arguing about money because they're skint after getting up to their eyeballs in debt paying for their "perfect day"
We decided what we wanted and just did that and everyone else could lump it. We had a very small ceremony with only immediate family present (a total of 6 guests). Due to the small number of guests we didn't want people feeling left out at not being invited so no-one else was even told we were engaged until after the ceremony. The reception was just a meal in a nice restaurant with the guests then we spent the evening in the hotel bar. It was an awesome day and we were able to take everything in and make the most of it all.
Later in the year we had a party so that all our friends and extended family could celebrate with us.
This.
My wedding planning involved saying yes at the right moments. Could have had an easier life and got a stamp saying YES!
Can't complain though she organised the perfect day, couldn't have been better.
I proposed to my girlfriend on Friday night, and she said yes
Now as well as being excited about the day, there's a shedload of stuff that needs to be planned, organised and saved for.
Budget's going to be the biggest sticking point I reckon, so we're going to try and keep costs to a minimum.
What were your experiences? How did you go about organising the big day? Did you use a planner? Plan yourself? How long did it take and how much did it cost?
Argh so much to think about!
P.S.
She's also on the ocuk forums, so you could say this is an ocuk wedding
In the process of doing it right now. Ours is a little complex because there will be 3 different wedding celebrations (in the US, Scotland and Germany), the European stuff we have to organize remotely). We also live 12 hours of flying away form each other, so organization has to be done separately with some calls over the phone.
I really don't see it as being that much hassle though. A few days of planning, designing invites, phone calls to venues, looking at menus, creating friends list, calling a flower arranger, buying wedding rings. A couple of raining weekend and the odd hour in the evening is all that is really needed. We all know people who have been married and there is so much information out there anyway that it is a relatively easy process. Biggest issue I have come across is choosing the food menu!
Weddings are never cheap but I don't see why they have to be particularly expensive. I am getting official married in a couple of weeks, the official clerk costs about $50 (and is a super nice guy), the venue we get or free because we are getting catering from there, drinks are $15 a person and not everyone will drink (will get champagne free form a friend), food will total about $40 a person. We are inviting about 15 people. A good friend will take some photographs. So will cost about $1000USD.
Will have a bigger celebration in Germany but even there we don't expect to have to spend more than 2-3K euros. You don't have to go over the top and there are lots of ways to save money without being a cheap skate.
Many venues are relatively cheap or free. If you don't care about the quality of photos then just tell some friends to bring cameras, or hire a photographer for only the service. Get friends to make the flower decorations (offer to pay but you might get them as a gift). Do some networking and see who can help. An aunt of my fiance is in the card printing business so will take care of those costs, both our mothers work in the catering business so get good deals on drinks and bar staff. My mum will do the catering for one of my celebrations (she is a professional wedding caterer after all). My parents are regulars at their church, that venue will be free, my fiance works at a beautiful university and has wonderful colonial ballrooms, will be free since she works there. Instead of paying for a fancy limo see if one of your friends has a nice car, friends of my family have a wonderful vintage Jaguar, friends of my-fiance have a classic Mercedes and personal chauffeur.
Our biggest expenses will be flights to Europe.
honestly, I just don't see how it is possible or why anyone would want to run up 5 digit weddings.
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We thought of doing that for giggles. You get drive through wedding chapels in the US
Costs like $30 and you are done.
We thought of doing that for giggles. You get drive through wedding chapels in the US
That's what I'm doing in April next year, hotel, flights, wedding and photographer all booked in one week.
Blimey look at all the coin people are throwing at daft weddings, it really is shocking on how much people spend on such a day, i have seen far to many women hen peck men into getting married for it to be over in a couple of years, look at how many books and games you could buy with the coin saved
About a day if that, Wife ordered a wedding dress online I went and bought a suit, ordered a buffet. Did the deed in the reg office went home had a few sarnies and drinks with some good friends. Maybe spent £1000 all in. It seemed poitnless to me spending 30 grand on a wedding.
Man of Honour
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I 'proposed' in July 1980 and we got married in September 1980 (we had been together 6 years).
Registry was £10 which I still owe my Dad.
My suit £30 and her dress £50.
Her ring £22 and I've never had one
Meal was about £2:50 per head for around 30 people.
Photographs & home movie done by Uncles.
All the food for the evening buffet done by Aunties for free.
Big local nightclub called Tiffany's for free because 500 people were going.
All the entertainment was free because I know a 1000 bands and DJ's.
Honeymoon cost £70 each which was a tour around war sites in Europe on a coach.
We're still together after a total of 38 years.
Registry was £10 which I still owe my Dad.
My suit £30 and her dress £50.
Her ring £22 and I've never had one
Meal was about £2:50 per head for around 30 people.
Photographs & home movie done by Uncles.
All the food for the evening buffet done by Aunties for free.
Big local nightclub called Tiffany's for free because 500 people were going.
All the entertainment was free because I know a 1000 bands and DJ's.
Honeymoon cost £70 each which was a tour around war sites in Europe on a coach.
We're still together after a total of 38 years.
![[FnG]magnolia](/styles/overclockers/avatars/9.png){kind=avatar}
Caporegime
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My sister and I had to work quickly to get married (to different people I should add) due to wanting my dad to be involved in both events before he died. I wouldn't recommend it though because it's pretty stressful, although I think all wedding planning is stressful and it's just a matter of degrees. If you can take longer then I'd suggest you do so.
Very interesting reading!
We've not actually had time to sit down and talk about this properly yet, but there are a lot of decisions to make before we can even begin to think about something as important as the budget!
That's another thing really; until we decide how big the day will be (whether it'll be a small, close family and friends do, or the opposite), we can't do anything else as we need to sort out a budget.
We've not actually had time to sit down and talk about this properly yet, but there are a lot of decisions to make before we can even begin to think about something as important as the budget!
That's another thing really; until we decide how big the day will be (whether it'll be a small, close family and friends do, or the opposite), we can't do anything else as we need to sort out a budget.
You know what - for once, I'm with you.
Me and my girl are getting married next month, the whole day will cost less than £500.
For these people blowing 30k on a wedding... I honestly despair. It's completely, wholly unnecessary. You're playing into a tradition that controls you and your partner through social pressure and group expectation. Enjoy your extortionate wedding bills.. because it is extortion.
And here it is, the petty comments about people that spend a lot on a wedding. IF people made negative comments about people who spend pennies on a wedding and there would be uproar about them being snobs etc. Just let people spend what they like, if it's what they want what does it matter?
I'd like to point out that our wedding cost £20k including the £4k on the honeymoon, there was a little debt, no arguing because it was all planned debt and was paid off in a couple of months and it was an amazing day. Worth every penny that was spent. It wasn't about oneupmanship, no one we knew had gotten married or where getting married. It was just a great celebration with our closest family and friends.
I photograph weddings from cheap events under £1k and expensive ones with helicopters and formula 1 cars, small intimate events to weddings with 300+ and none of them have been about oneupmanship. 98% have been about the couple and their vows, 2% were mainly about the party afterwards.
Every couple is different, what they want and what they can afford is different. When will people stop being bitter and judgemental about how others do their day and just let people celebrate in their own ways.
Caporegime
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Ours cost more than this as we married in St Leonard's Chapel in St Andrews and then had the reception The Old Course Hotel (and then we did similar over in NZ) but to spend $20k or more on one day is a decision that makes little sense to me. Whether you can afford it or not - and a lot of people can, or convince themselves that they can - it is dead money which could serve as a great building block deposit for a house or for your kid's Uni fees or for a car or for ... anything really.
I understand wanting it to be an amazing day. I understand wanting it to be unforgettable. And I understand it being important but your future financial situation is much more important because being married and being broke because you spent all your money on a wedding seems like a terrible life decision to me.
Anyway, best of luck. You'll get lots of opinion - some of which you might even have asked for, but not many - on how the day should go. Make sure that it's something that and your partner want to happen and try not to get directed by those who might wish to see your day be their day (this is not in relation to my wedding but I have two horror stories from friends).
And .. uh ... no one has asked for pictures yet? GD - what's going on?
e : ah, that was bad timing on my part. I wasn't commenting on you AHarvery, it was a general thing and only an opinion
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We were married 6 months after our engagement. We did all the planning and organising ourselves. We did not purchase wedding insurance.
Catering and venue were provided by our local church for a nominal fee of £80. Photographer was a personal friend who only charged us £40 for a full day's work and around 800 photos. My mother made the bridesmaids' dresses.
Cost of the wedding (including a 1-week honeymoon in the Irish Republic) was ~£2,500. We paid cash for everything, so there was no debt at the end of the day.
Catering and venue were provided by our local church for a nominal fee of £80. Photographer was a personal friend who only charged us £40 for a full day's work and around 800 photos. My mother made the bridesmaids' dresses.
Cost of the wedding (including a 1-week honeymoon in the Irish Republic) was ~£2,500. We paid cash for everything, so there was no debt at the end of the day.
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