First time dad...

haz_pro said:
Congratulations.

Now, not to bring a downer to everything but I would suggest you wait until the second trimester until doing anything in regards to preparation.
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i think this is quite important advice, don't get too excited yet (speaking from experience).

for proper advice, a lot has been covered but I would say:

1. stock up on sleep now, seriously. my son is 2 next week and whilst he sleeps through the night, 6am every day of the week isn't fun! i've been permanently tired for 2 years!

2. clothes just get the bare minimum. you don't know what size it will be, they grow out of them so quickly and we got all sorts of stuff from friends and relatives we've not bought a lot.

3. plan financially, save some cash now. kids aren't the massive money pits everyone makes them out to be (atm anyway) but it always helps to know how you'll cope should you need to.

4. do any DIY now. painting or fixing stuff with a baby or toddler trying to "help" significantly reduces the chances of success!

5. get used to mess ;)

6. be prepared to give each other time off. i was working full time, and the mrs was on baby duty but every saturday i did all the baby stuff to give her a break. it's amazing how many child friendly pubs there are about ;)

can't think of anything else, hope it all goes well and good luck :)
 
My employer paid me for my two weeks paternity leave so I did not have any less money, fatherhood is a truly wonderful experience remember one thing very well, make sure you have a big bunch of flowers waiting for your OH after the birth.
 
Won't really be doing anything prep wise until after xmas just to be safe!

I'm not sure how I'll react to the sleep situation, I'm up at 6am 7 days a week through habit, so surviving on even less sleep I imagine is going to be a pain :p

I'll certainly be giving her a break over the weekends, I spend most weekends doing little anyway so it will be nice to spend time with the kid :)

Current mancave is going to make way for the new born, though I have eyed up a new spot for it, at least until moving house is on the cards to free up some room.

Have a meeting with some of the management at work this week, see if there is any movement on the paternity leave side of things, I'm going to guess they'll say no as they're tight but it can't hurt to ask :)
 
Having had twin boys last year just a few tips

1 Aldi nappies and wipes cheaper and better then big brands

2 Tesco own bottles cheap as chips and are far better then fancy anti colic rubbish . Trust me last thing you want at 2am is trying to unblock the rubber flap in the tommee tippee bottle . Plus tesco bottles came recommened by NICU nurses .

3 You don't need half the amount of stuff you will buy .

4 Don't tell anybody when your going home with baby . Just go home lock the door turn your phone off and enjoy it .

5 If it you end up in NICU don't panic . Spent 16 weeks with the twins in NICU and the nurses and docs are amazing .
 
pgi947 said:
Hi all...

SO I found out last week I'm going to be a dad for the first time, as is the mothers first time.

Tbh I'm not sure what to expect, how to plan for this, what to do, how to do it etc...about 10 weeks gone atm, due sometime in June.

Basically I'm clueless and could do with some 'real world' advise, I find all information online to be pretty much BS based on my own assumption, making it sound overly easy.

The one thing I have noticed is how much the government pretty much kicks you in the stones as much as possible while having your first born, £120 a week pre tax for paternity?? Really?? Something else I should be looking into to assist with this? I'd very much love to take 2 weeks PAT leave + 2 weeks annual Leave when its born, but I seriously can't afford to take such a pay ditch over 2 weeks.

Any other recent first time dads want to give me some tips?
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congrats!

i had to just take 2 weeks annual leave as i couldnt afford the measly pay either. you can choose to take 4 weeks annual leave as most companies will allow you but then its a long year without any hols. i wouldnt take them all as in a few months you will need those 2 weeks to rest.

a newborn just sleeps, poops and cries for months anyway. save the hols for when they are a little older. at 8-9 months they are almost walking and probably crawling everywhere and much more fun to be around. our started walking the day before his first birthday and now he runs everywhere! :)

dont go crazy and buy loads of clothes and toys. they grow so fast you will have clothes they dont even wear before they have outgrown them. certain toys get loads of attention and others just sit in a toy chest. the fave toy for ours was the leapfrog DJ station. it was great and he loved it. then we got him a f1 styled walker which he loved until he started walking.

i must admit i did bugger all reading up on being a dad and let the wife gen up on everything whilst on maternity leave (she had to leave a couple of months early due to being so ill). you soon get to grips with everything. get banking some sleep now, you will need it!

one thing i would say is try to get them into a bedtime regime early. might be a pain early on but in the future it will save you a lot of stress!

well chuffed for you mate. its ****ing knackering though but amazing. ours in now about 15 months and he is a proper funny little toddler now. i love him to bits.
 
congratulations, your life is over ;)

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B@
 
B@Th*nG said:
congratulations, your life is over ;)

B@
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Quite the opposite, my life just begun when my son was born. I now have a new purpose and a new set of objectives to raise him and ensure he has the best opportunities I can possibly provide him.
 
Sheff said:
You can never have enough baby clothes, you'll change them in the morning and 5 minutes later they'll have been sick all over themselves.

Don't bother so much with outfits etc, especially when they're in the house - a vest and sleep suit will be fine, and will likely keep them warmer than jeans etc (and will cost a lot less).

If you do decide to go with jeans or trousers, use tights instead of socks (even for a boy) otherwise you'll be constantly putting them back on.

Asda are brilliant for clothes and especially baby sleeping bags, their own brand and Disney ones are around £10 to £12, you'll be paying anywhere from £20-£30 in most other places.
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some good points here. we find only gap socks are any good. especially when walking as they have a gummy bit on the bottom that helps ours walking on the hard floors (wood and porcelain downstairs)

maybe only get an outfit for special occasions. we bought loads in the run up and most of them only got worn once. as you say asda and tesco actually, IMO, do better and cheaper clothes than mothercare and mommas & pappas.

kiss goodbye to gaming lol. my joys now are football on sky/espn as at least you can dip in and out of it. i hardly get any gaming time any more
 
Congrats!

Being a parent is an apprenticeship, you learn on the job so don't worry too much.

+1 for aldi wipes and nappies they are by far the best. No leaks after 12-14 hours at night compared to the other brands which are rubbish.

The one piece of advice I give is to get a strict routine going as soon as you can and don't cave in to the cries at bedtime, obviously if something is wrong then check but don't keep going back as the baby will expect it.

Also a handy tip for food cutting is use a pizza cutter in a bowl :)
 
Sagi3 said:
ASDA's are good and we had no problems with them. Can vouch for Aldi too and they are really cheap :)
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we always have had pampers. the rest leaked (huggies are useless!)

pampers do daytime and nighttime ones that help stop leaks. aldi have been ok too, but to be honest nappies are really cheap so go with whatever you find the best.

to lou... i let the mrs do all the nighttime stuff. i know this isnt PC but women forget that we are the earners when they quit work. also, babies sleep a lot through the day, so the women can get some sleep in then, we cant as we are at work

i know some people can wake up and get back to sleep really easily but i have never been able to do this. i tried a couple of times to do night feeds but it just meant i was awake all night then having to go to work for 10 hours. if i lost my job due to being too knackered we would be screwed. also, there is often 2 sets of grandparents to help out in the days etc. us husbands get no help from anyone. i used to let her catch up on loads of sleep at the weekend though. i guess it was easier for her as she couldnt breast feed due to her medication.

i find i get stuck in sleep patterns and if they alter it screws me up. maybe it was because i was 36 when we had ours?
 
kirbz said:
Congrats!

Being a parent is an apprenticeship, you learn on the job so don't worry too much.

+1 for aldi wipes and nappies they are by far the best. No leaks after 12-14 hours at night compared to the other brands which are rubbish.

The one piece of advice I give is to get a strict routine going as soon as you can and don't cave in to the cries at bedtime, obviously if something is wrong then check but don't keep going back as the baby will expect it.

Also a handy tip for food cutting is use a pizza cutter in a bowl :)
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we had to start doing controlled crying at about 1 year as the mrs didnt want to try until then. man, why didnt we try it earlier?!?! :confused:
 
Ignore pretty much all government/NHS advice on weaning and you'll be sorted :D

RE: breastfeeding, don't be afraid to top them up with formula if they're still hungry.

RE: weaning, ignore the cobblers about being 6months and being able to feed themselves. All my kids were weaned by 3months as bottles alone just weren't cutting it any more!
 
kirbz said:
The one piece of advice I give is to get a strict routine going as soon as you can and don't cave in to the cries at bedtime, obviously if something is wrong then check but don't keep going back as the baby will expect it.
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Oh yeah. That's a very important tip. Babies are smarter than you think and will have you wrapped round their little finger. Learn the difference between a cry for just attention and a cry where something is wrong.
 
pgi947 said:
Won't really be doing anything prep wise until after xmas just to be safe!

I'm not sure how I'll react to the sleep situation, I'm up at 6am 7 days a week through habit, so surviving on even less sleep I imagine is going to be a pain :p

I'll certainly be giving her a break over the weekends, I spend most weekends doing little anyway so it will be nice to spend time with the kid :)

Current mancave is going to make way for the new born, though I have eyed up a new spot for it, at least until moving house is on the cards to free up some room.

Have a meeting with some of the management at work this week, see if there is any movement on the paternity leave side of things, I'm going to guess they'll say no as they're tight but it can't hurt to ask :)
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Congrats - and you're going to be just fine :)

Don't worry about the sleep issue. You'll deal with it. The first few weeks at work I would cram down my lunch and then sleep in my car for 30 mins - using my phone alarm to make sure I woke up :)

As others have said, the first time the little guy/girl smiles in recognition at you......nothing else matters.
 
realBabelfish said:
we had to start doing controlled crying at about 1 year as the mrs didnt want to try until then. man, why didnt we try it earlier?!?! :confused:
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Took me 6 months of persuading my wife that crying does not always need intervention. 2 days of hell to break that cycle. she's now 3 and been sleeping like a log since :D

I've never understood people who raise there children with methods like "baby led weaning" etc etc. why make your life harder/expensive for yourself.

I'll also emphasize how rubbish Huggies really are! They really are bottom of the barrel stuff.
 
realBabelfish said:
we had to start doing controlled crying at about 1 year as the mrs didnt want to try until then. man, why didnt we try it earlier?!?! :confused:
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Luckily me and Mrs k were in agreement from the start, which we were awarded with nice long sleeps since my little one was 3ish months old :)

I have had more than enough worrying sleepless nights but that's a different story.

I find huggies are average and pampers are the worst.
 
pgi947 said:
Hi all...

SO I found out last week I'm going to be a dad for the first time, as is the mothers first time.

Tbh I'm not sure what to expect

Basically I'm clueless and could do with some 'real world' advise, I find all information online to be pretty much BS based on my own assumption, making it sound overly easy.
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Congrats :D

Expect a baby!

Real world advice:
Women - don't listen to them. They generally all hate being pregnant, I've not seen many truely "glowing" mothers to be, and all hate the labour and birthing process.
So, given they all hate it, their minds tell them to forget about it. 6 months after birth no matter how bad it was they all say they had a great pregnancy and the birth was fine. RUBBISH. THEY LIE.
Expect hell and expect to be blamed for it all :P

STAY AWAY FROM MUMSNET.

Netmums on the other hand (see what they did there!) seems to be almost the same thing but much better.

Sleepless nights, being shut out by the misses, crying babies, teething, terrible twos (and 3's and 4's) are a pain in the ***. However, it is all worth it :)

If you need to believe in anything, believe that it is worth it in the end :)
 
Find the local NCT group and find out when they have their sales. They are normally twica a year and you will find loads of good quality clothes and other baby thinga really cheap if money is tight.
 
Congratulations! Having a pregnant wife/partner is a roller coaster in itself. Our wee boy is due next week and both of us are about ready to wave goodbye to pregnancy. You think women can be mental? Wait until you have to deal with a heavily pregnant woman who hasn't slept right in months :D

The NCT classes are helpful if you haven't a clue about pregnancy, childbirth of baby care, but they're not necessarily as great as everyone makes them out to be. There's nothing in there that you can't find out from the internet, books or family and friends. Meeting people in a similar situation can be helpful but if you get stuck with a rubbish group the meetings will be a drag, so keep that in mind.

If you're anything like me, it'll be the most exciting experience of your life so far. Enjoy! :)
 
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