The OcUK Relationship Counselling and Hugs Thread

NathWraith said:
It doesn't phase me so much, I split up from my long term gf of 4 years in August which was a dark experience. So I'm not taking any prisoners when it comes to new relationships.

Which unfortunately means being a bit of a heart breaker!
Click to expand...

u5iFk.png
 
In response to the Fuzz situation. Chin up mate! Honestly, a few years back I was going out with a girl for about 10 or 11 months, was completley on the leash, she completley controlled me! Turned out, for about 5 of those months she was cheating on me with a guy she worked with (he was 42, she was 18). I found that out while I went to her house, was sat there by myself from 6pm to 3am. Literally by myself as everyone else had went out. Nobody knew where she was, she wouldn't answer calls etc. Anyway.. she told me, it absolutley destroyed me, I went berserk at her, got everything off my chest and then went to bed. Following day I left, and for months I drove myself mental thinking about it.

I got back on the horse shortly after, and never really looked back. She is now a drug addict and STD donating collector.

Moral of the story, if you are in a relationship, and the person is a complete mentalist control freak, they probably have something to hide. I gathered that from that relationship and a few my mates have had.

Head up lad, and move on, things get a lot easier with time, and you will meet the special one, just like me :)
 
It's not like that though, she absolutely isn't seeing anyone else.
Just that's how it seemed due to how I was being treated.
She's just got something wrong with her. She has lost all care about everything she has in her life. She shows no emotion for anything and can't understand why the people around her are pulling their hair out.
She's been referred to the physc unit after her initial meeting and been given some "****ing strong anti-depressants" (her words) that take three weeks to kick in!! :eek:
I am starting to feel a lot better though.!!!
 
Fuzz said:
She's been referred to the physc unit after her initial meeting and been given some "****ing strong anti-depressants" (her words) that take three weeks to kick in!! :eek:
Click to expand...

I know exactly what that is, it's her being over-dramatic again (possibly through no fault of her own) because those types of drugs normally take a while to kick in anyway.

Good to hear that you're feeling better.
 
I will quote a classic phrase which might help you all.

And yes you have probably all heard it a thousand times but it really does put things in to perspective:

"Better to have loved and lost than never to have loved at all."

In some cases your relationships may be over, but they will have played a part in making you the men you are today. There is someone right out there for each and every one of you, but moping around and feeling sorry for yourself is not going to help you meet them.

Get out there and meet people!
 
^^ same here for the most part.
Last girl i met was nothing to do with that social group, but it was a bit of random luck really.
 
Became single again today through choice; the gf was getting wasted every night. She said she had issues and could do with a counsellor, I gave her all the help she could need even offered to take her to counselling and pick her up afterwards. Was all to no avail; every night she has empty cans scattered around, floods of tears complaining about life not being right but no positive moves to help herself.

When I first started seeing her I thought she was just letting off a little steam but it dawned on me it's a constant thing. Every night around the time her kids were due to go to bed she would be in the car and out to the off-license. I'm not talking a winding down drink after a long day either, at least 12 cans every night. She gets all emotional when she's loaded and says how she wants to turn her life around and then the next morning she is telling me how she's fine and just had a bad day. It was every day; constant cycle, and it's as though she admits the problem when she is drunk but when sober she is hiding from it.

I said to her I cant do this; it's not what I want, im not going to sit by and watch you fall apart in front of me, so I told her at the beginning of November get help or you are going to destroy yourself. She did nothing; I gave her fair chance, tried to help out, I just wanted to see her move in a positive direction but she did nothing.

I cant be with another addict; my last ex was and still is substance dependent, I don't have time for this kind of idiocy, she knows she has a drinking problem but just carries on. So im out of the relationship before I care too much and cant pull away from her. She wants to maintain a friendship and that's ok by me, I like her so much and do care about her but I could not stay in the relationship with her in denial of her problems.

My daughter says im an idiot magnet and she now has to vet all future gf's!
 
knip said:
I've got no one to get out there and meet people with! Everybody (and I mean EVERYBODY) I know in my area is settled down and/or taken.

So I have no one to do that with.

Just saying :)
Click to expand...

you can still go out on the town with people who are in a relationship, in some ways its even better because they are not allowed to pull! :o:p
 
You mean a wingman/woman?

Sometimes they go though a lot of hardship for your own benefit, just saying :p
 
Rich1988 said:
you can still go out on the town with people who are in a relationship, in some ways its even better because they are not allowed to pull! :o:p
Click to expand...

Yes but at my age (I'm 33) nobody really wants to do that anymore. Not like we used to in our early 20's anyway. People have kids and that.

I'm really not trying to make excuses, just for me, and I suspect many of a similar age, telling us to "get out there and meet more people" isn't always a feasible option. :)
 
getting out there and meeting people didnt work for me either! :P, seems like you should kick your mates up the backside though, 33 is not too old to be going out!! kids or no kids
 
I can totally sympathise with where knip is coming from. I'm also relatively recently single, also 33 and its a terrible age to be on your own. Such a huge percentage of people around you are settled, getting married, having babies and sometimes circumstance can almost leave you locked out of things with no way of getting back without a chance meeting or other slice of luck.

I'm told once you get closer to 40 it all changes though as the divorces start to kick in, hope I dont have to wait that long though!
 
You must log in or register to reply here.
Back
Top Bottom