The OcUK Relationship Counselling and Hugs Thread

Rich1988 said:
getting out there and meeting people didnt work for me either! :P, seems like you should kick your mates up the backside though, 33 is not too old to be going out!! kids or no kids
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Too many people think it is though. As soon as kids arrive on the scene then people have this mentality that they have no social life. I find it really weird but then I don't have kids.
 
knip said:
Yes but at my age (I'm 33) nobody really wants to do that anymore. Not like we used to in our early 20's anyway. People have kids and that.

I'm really not trying to make excuses, just for me, and I suspect many of a similar age, telling us to "get out there and meet more people" isn't always a feasible option. :)
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Am 42 and I go out about 2 to 3 times a week to night clubs/etc

I went out to nightclubs lastnight & the night before ;)
 
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I have a mortgage, kittens, and very little spare money to go galavanting :p

Plus my face (and other parts) have been on here enough times :D
 
knip said:
Yes but at my age (I'm 33) nobody really wants to do that anymore. Not like we used to in our early 20's anyway. People have kids and that.

I'm really not trying to make excuses, just for me, and I suspect many of a similar age, telling us to "get out there and meet more people" isn't always a feasible option. :)
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Of course it's a feasible option, going out and meeting people doesn't have to be going out to pubs & clubs, it could be any manner of activity, joining a running club, taking up a new hobby... you get the idea.

The idea that you "can't" go out and meet people is complete hogwash, from my experience it's just an easy excuse for people to hide behind when they don't really want to meet people (or least put conscious effort into doing so) but for some reason feel shame in just saying so.
 
knip said:
Yes but at my age (I'm 33) nobody really wants to do that anymore. Not like we used to in our early 20's anyway. People have kids and that.

I'm really not trying to make excuses, just for me, and I suspect many of a similar age, telling us to "get out there and meet more people" isn't always a feasible option. :)
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Getting out there and meeting more people is ALWAYS a feasible option.

If nothing is changing then perhaps you need to make a change (not like Michael Jackson though, that would be weird and creepy).

Have you ever not lived in Bristol? Would you move? Why not?

What kind of things do you like to do? Do you or could you go to clubs for those activities and meet different people that way?

What kind of things interest you? Do you work out or run? Do you like sowing or reading or driving fast cars or going to see movies or dancing or looking after people or Yoga or playing puzzle games or watching TV or calling friends or going shopping or hanging out or bettering yourself or working towards a goal or goals or drinking wine with friends or talking about sports or sometimes just making it all go away and having some you time or being there for your friends?

knip said:
I'm really not trying to make excuses
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Are you sure?
 
[FnG]magnolia;23448749 said:
Please, tell us more about why going to nightclubs to find a decent girl is not a good idea.
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I know you're fishing for him to say that all girls who go to clubs are ****s, which obviously isn't true, but the fact remains it's a pretty terrible place to meet a girl and actually be with her for more than one night - the whole place is geared towards the quick and dirty.

You can't really talk properly, or get much of a clue about who they are, or what they look like when they haven't been getting dressed and adjusting their boobs for four hours prior to going out.

And you're ****faced. Well I am anyway.
 
I love living in Bristol, and wouldn't want to live anywhere else, plus I bought my first home 6 months ago, so am tied to that.

I go to watch Bristol City every home game, and have a good bunch of mates from that. Mainly men id like to add, but none of them have ever showed me any interest in "that" way, or are already taken. I'm into motor sport as those in the F1 section on here can vouch. I do have a fulfilling life in many respects.

I tend to attract as I've mentioned in this thread, the doormat types, who then lose any kind of their own opinions around women, which I hate. Hence I've just avoided making the effort of finding someone as I appear to be so crap at it.

I've just gotten used to being on my own, and the fact I will probably end up on my own. :)
 
PardonTheWait said:
I know you're fishing for him to say that all girls who go to clubs are ****s, which obviously isn't true, but the fact remains it's a pretty terrible place to meet a girl and actually be with her for more than one night - the whole place is geared towards the quick and dirty.

You can't really talk properly, or get much of a clue about who they are, or what they look like when they haven't been getting dressed and adjusting their boobs for four hours prior to going out.

And you're ****faced. Well I am anyway.
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I'm not fishing for him to say anything. Sure, clubs can be an easy place to find someone who is in it for one night. Not always though.
 
knip said:
I love living in Bristol, and wouldn't want to live anywhere else, plus I bought my first home 6 months ago, so am tied to that.

I go to watch Bristol City every home game, and have a good bunch of mates from that. Mainly men id like to add, but none of them have ever showed me any interest in "that" way, or are already taken. I'm into motor sport as those in the F1 section on here can vouch. I do have a fulfilling life in many respects.

I tend to attract as I've mentioned in this thread, the doormat types, who then lose any kind of their own opinions around women, which I hate. Hence I've just avoided making the effort of finding someone as I appear to be so crap at it.

I've just gotten used to being on my own, and the fact I will probably end up on my own. :)
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That's a choice you are actively making.
 
[FnG]magnolia;23448850 said:
I'm not fishing for him to say anything. Sure, clubs can be an easy place to find someone who is in it for one night. Not always though.
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It's not that the decent girls aren't there, because loads of them are, it's just that it's a godawful place to actually meet them and find out which ones are which.
 
Hey all!

Where do I stand here? Is this normal, or even typical?

-I'm 26/Straight/Male.
-Never been in a long term relationship.
-Last short term relationship was in 2009 (~1 month).
-Not particularly interested in any relationship.
-Feel as though I'd be giving up unnecessary time to take on responsibilities that I deem too great.
-I know for a fact that I'd screw up a first marriage.
 
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[FnG]magnolia;23448882 said:
Your nightclub could be your workplace or your student club or your night course or your gym.

People go out and do things. That's how we meet.
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Of course, but a building with the primary purpose of getting paralytic and rubbing up against strangers, in which you can't really hear or see people properly isn't perfect.

It's perfect for rubbing up against strangers in though.
 
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