New parents time planning

Dimple said:
Obviously barring major problems with the child I agree with you.
Both my girls were healthy so I was able to carry on as normal as long as I did Dad things when expected.
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That reads like you have to do it rather than want to do it. Like many I would rather spend quality time with my kids than play a round of golf or go fishing. If you just do the minimum you think is expected it should be easy to do anything else.

Anyone can ignore their kids or family and continue as if they don't have kids, in fact I see it happen quite a lot and it doesn't make for happy families or kids but hey the person not changing is happy at least.
 
hargi said:
Cheers for the responses guys. Going up to the club today to hand my lover key back. From the sounds of it it's just not worth it and to be honest I think i will enjoy it more when I do get chance to go out.
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:eek:

What type of club is it really?
 
Oxy said:
zero free time for 12 months at least.
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This is such nonsense, as are similar comments. I have a 7 week old baby girl, and honestly, the above statement was true for about 2 weeks. She's sleeping through the night now without waking so me and my partner get plenty of free time in the evenings after work.
 
Ewaf said:
This is such nonsense, as are similar comments. I have a 7 week old baby girl, and honestly, the above statement was true for about 2 weeks. She's sleeping through the night now without waking so me and my partner get plenty of free time in the evenings after work.
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so because you have a 7 weeks old you think you know more than people with older kids?

Yes, it's great when kids sleep through, but add in sickness (babies/toddlers get ill a lot), teething and other random quirks and that sleeping through isn't guaranteed.

My daughter is 14 months now, and yes, you get a few hours in the evening if you are lucky (and she sleeps through most nights) during the awake time she needs constant supervision and stimulation. If I want my own time, it's early hours of the morning.
 
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I'd say it all depends on the wife & how she takes to mothering. Some women these days are rubbish at being Mums so need the man to do more than there fair share. Same can be said for some Dads being **** Dads so the Mum ends up doing to much.
If you both do your fair share then having a baby is a blessing & any time you give up won't be an issue at all & you'll have a fair amount of time left over for messing. If it's one sided on either parent Mum or Dad then it will turn to **** & resentment & you'll more than likely end up with more free time than ever or none at all.
 
First off Congratulations.

I'm 28 and I have two boys, Riley is almost 2 and Freddie is 5 months. My Wife left work and is not going back, shes become a full time mum.

I have\had a number of hobbies, Go-Karting (Racing in a Championship all year) Computing, Gaming, Mountain Biking a very time consuming Job and seeing friends during the week.

I have to say it was very hard on both of us the first few months, especially for my wife - at times in the first couple of months as a dad you feel a little helpless what with the mother breast finding e.t.c. finding your feet and dealing with the general lack of sleep. Riley had colic. After you find your feet and start getting into a routine it becomes easier.

One tip I would say, don't be afraid to take all the help you can from family.

With regards to hobbies I still managed to fit most of them in when I can. Last year I raced all season (A full Saturday a month) I miss the lack of practice every now and then but that's no problem and fit other hobbies when the kids have gone to sleep - the start to make use of your time and wondered what you did without kids :D

Right now, Riley is in a routine. 06:30~7am wakes up, Mid-morning nap 11~12/13:00 then he goes to bed at 19:00. Basically mine and my wife's free time starts from then. Freddie is in the stages of still sleeping quite a lot during the day. You start to appreciate the time you have to yourself.

But I really can't express how much it changes you as a person and how rewarding it is. To have my little boy run up to cuddle me shouting "Daddy, Daddy" when I get home from work and show me what hes been playing with all day is priceless.
You start to think as a dad and its a feeling like no other.

Best of luck mate :)
 
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Ewaf said:
YES, that's EXACTLY what I said. /sarcasm

Of course I'm not insinuating that, I am saying that the statement I quoted is wrong.
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For you it might be, but in most cases it is. I think you have been lucky, I know we were.

80% of my friends kids have been a nightmare, some had colic and have screamed for weeks, I don't know how they do it.
 
All of my free time is in the evenings after 7pm, once my son has gone to bed. Unless it is a pre-planned event where I am out on my own, all of my other "time outside of work" is either spent with my wife or doing things as a family.
 
AHarvey said:
For you it might be, but in most cases it is. I think you have been lucky, I know we were.

80% of my friends kids have been a nightmare, some had colic and have screamed for weeks, I don't know how they do it.
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You're right, but I still think that "no life for X months/years" is pretty inaccurate. Its not that you have no life, being a parent is simply a different life. Yes you have to make sacrifices and free time can sometimes be few and far between, but the positives definitely out weigh the negatives.
 
Ewaf said:
You're right, but I still think that "no life for X months/years" is pretty inaccurate. Its not that you have no life, being a parent is simply a different life. Yes you have to make sacrifices and free time can sometimes be few and far between, but the positives definitely out weigh the negatives.
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Very well said, life changes completely. My "hobby time" cut by about 80%, now it's reading books to and playing with the little one :p
 
Ewaf said:
This is such nonsense, as are similar comments. I have a 7 week old baby girl, and honestly, the above statement was true for about 2 weeks. She's sleeping through the night now without waking so me and my partner get plenty of free time in the evenings after work.
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You're incredibly fortunate then.

We didn't have a full night's sleep between us for approx. 18 months with our first child (who is now 10), she would only sleep in her car seat, with the car moving. It was a pretty rough time for the both of us. Any spare time for either of us was used for sleeping.
 
Ewaf said:
This is such nonsense, as are similar comments. I have a 7 week old baby girl, and honestly, the above statement was true for about 2 weeks. She's sleeping through the night now without waking so me and my partner get plenty of free time in the evenings after work.
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Hope that keeps up for you.
Through sickness, teething and the rest.
7 weeks for silence at night is very fortunate.
 
Hikari Kisugi said:
Hope that keeps up for you.
Through sickness, teething and the rest.
7 weeks for silence at night is very fortunate.
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I realise it might not carry on, been like this for about a week and a half. Couldn't believe it the first time she slept through. Woke up at 5. 30am and realised she hadn't woken yet, bolted into her room and she was sound asleep. Never run so fast in my life.
 
If you can afford it hire an immigrant nanny to look after the newborn, makes life so much easier.

Course your child may end up speaking a foreign language to you or pick up an accent..but that's all good.
 
Reemul said:
That reads like you have to do it rather than want to do it. Like many I would rather spend quality time with my kids than play a round of golf or go fishing. If you just do the minimum you think is expected it should be easy to do anything else.

Anyone can ignore their kids or family and continue as if they don't have kids,
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Thanks for that and Mrs Dimple has just called you something I can't repeat.
My parenting is already proven, 2 girls aged 25 & 23 who adore me and think I'm 'cool', they've never been in trouble and both have degrees.
Let's see what great job you do with your kids and then come back to me.
 
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