You did the right thing. You ended the relationship on noble, respectful terms and treated her with respect and dignity. Cudos. You even gave it another shot and it didn't quite work, you can therefore fully close the door on that one.
The OcUK Relationship Counselling and Hugs Thread
- Thread starter mattyprice4004
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You did the right thing. You ended the relationship on noble, respectful terms and treated her with respect and dignity. Cudos. You even gave it another shot and it didn't quite work, you can therefore fully close the door on that one.
Soldato
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You already have the right mentality. You know time will heal, and that you need to cut her off.
Keep on doing that and you will heal quickly.
No harm in being and staying alone tbh.
Keep on doing that and you will heal quickly.
No harm in being and staying alone tbh.
Winner, absolutely all of this.
What if she is feeling great Robi? Should that really matter? If she's fine does it mean she's over you? If she's bad it means she missing you? All of this doesn't matter one bit you did this for the right reasons, so her being hurt, or her enjoying the single life means nothing as it's your decision and it's the right one.
Get rid of all memories, delete her number, throw her pictures in the bin etc etc
No contact at all for 5 days now and starting to feel even worse. Never been this long without talking to her.
Obviously I have no idea how she's feeling but I just can't help but think I'm the only one hurting at the moment. I can just picture her carrying on with her life as normal as if nothing ever happened
Get yaself some easy lays on plentyoffish from single mothers who work in a nursey (not being derogatory here about the fact they have a kid or work in a nursery, it's just a trend I've seem to of found on this site) you'll feel better.
Oh god yes. I was having a browse last night and every other person was a nursery nurse.
Associate
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- Suffolk
Chin up squarepusher. Don't keep her as a friend though, it'll only hurt every time your phone rings. Cut off the contact
Cheers guys! I am feeling better compared to where I did not know where I was with her the last few days, they have been incredibly tough and stomach churning. But after hearing it from her admit she doesn't want me, it was atleast better to know I have to start healing it.
She rang this morning just to see how I was and all I could ask is why she was ringing and if she wants to break up with me atleast leave me be.
And to top it off no I cannot play bass guitar like the real squarepusher
, might take it up now though 
Cheers guys! I am feeling better compared to where I did not know where I was with her the last few days, they have been incredibly tough and stomach churning. But after hearing it from her admit she doesn't want me, it was atleast better to know I have to start healing it.
She rang this morning just to see how I was and all I could ask is why she was ringing and if she wants to break up with me atleast leave me be.
And to top it off no I cannot play bass guitar like the real squarepusher
Do it, learning something new / keeping active is a great way to take your mind of things
Guys, I was a bit of a sappy douche in this thread before Xmas. My head was all over the place.
I'm glad to say I've manned the **** up and told my wife to do one if she doesn't want to be with me. She is looking for her own place now after staying at her parents for the past few weeks. I'm getting my car back tomorrow (I own 2) so I can auction it. Hopefully she'll get the rest of her stuff sometime this week so I can have a decent shot of not being reminded of her daily.
I'm now going through the mundane stuff of transferring direct debits etc. before figuring out what I want to do with the house. No idea about the divorce, neither of us have done anything wrong as such so I guess it'll be a while before we can get one.
Personally it's getting easier, although it is incredibly lonely at times. Starting again after 12 years, all my adult life, frankly scares me to death. I can't help but bubble with rage if I'm ever unfortunate enough to have to speak to her.
I'm glad to say I've manned the **** up and told my wife to do one if she doesn't want to be with me. She is looking for her own place now after staying at her parents for the past few weeks. I'm getting my car back tomorrow (I own 2) so I can auction it. Hopefully she'll get the rest of her stuff sometime this week so I can have a decent shot of not being reminded of her daily.
I'm now going through the mundane stuff of transferring direct debits etc. before figuring out what I want to do with the house. No idea about the divorce, neither of us have done anything wrong as such so I guess it'll be a while before we can get one.
Personally it's getting easier, although it is incredibly lonely at times. Starting again after 12 years, all my adult life, frankly scares me to death. I can't help but bubble with rage if I'm ever unfortunate enough to have to speak to her.
Guys just wondering about this.
Broke up with my ex 3 months ago, she broke up with me. She sends me happy new year message on the 4th and then a few days later she asks me if im home at 10pm. I reply a bit later saying yeah and she tells me that even though it seems strange she was driving past my place and felt like coming up to see me, but she is home now so it wasn't meant to be. I never replied then in the morning i get another message saying she knows im upset but it doesnt meant we can't talk. I replied a while later saying i went to sleep early (i was flying) , what did you want to talk about? She replies saying 'nothing'. I told her if she didnt want to talk about anything then she shouldn't have sent me a message. She gets annoyed and tells me im rude, being childish and there is no point talking to me since it will always end up in an arugment.
Why did she send me this message bearing in mind i asked to see her a few times 1 month ago and she refused and she is seeing someone else. Sounded like she just wanted attention or to screw with my head because i dont think it was ever her intention to come and see me.
Broke up with my ex 3 months ago, she broke up with me. She sends me happy new year message on the 4th
and then a few days later she asks me if im home at 10pm. I reply a bit later saying yeah and she tells me that even though it seems strange she was driving past my place and felt like coming up to see me, but she is home now so it wasn't meant to be. I never replied then in the morning i get another message saying she knows im upset but it doesnt meant we can't talk. I replied a while later saying i went to sleep early (i was flying) , what did you want to talk about? She replies saying 'nothing'. I told her if she didnt want to talk about anything then she shouldn't have sent me a message. She gets annoyed and tells me im rude, being childish and there is no point talking to me since it will always end up in an arugment.Why did she send me this message bearing in mind i asked to see her a few times 1 month ago and she refused and she is seeing someone else. Sounded like she just wanted attention or to screw with my head because i dont think it was ever her intention to come and see me.
She wants attention. Can only assume the person she is seeing isn't giving her the attention she wants and thinks she can pick you up when things aren't best for her.
You're not being childish you're doing exactly the right thing, just resist that urge to see her and tell her exactly how it is. Be cold and enjoy getting on with it
You're not being childish you're doing exactly the right thing, just resist that urge to see her and tell her exactly how it is. Be cold and enjoy getting on with it
Soldato
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Guys just wondering about this.
Broke up with my ex 3 months ago, she broke up with me. She sends me happy new year message on the 4th
Why did she send me this message bearing in mind i asked to see her a few times 1 month ago and she refused and she is seeing someone else. Sounded like she just wanted attention or to screw with my head because i dont think it was ever her intention to come and see me.
Ignore her
Girls are crazy like that. You did well ignoring her.
Soldato
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- 20 Oct 2002
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- Derby
Because females love to do that to mess with guys heads. They must love the feeling of dangling the carrot..
- Joined
- 4 Jan 2013
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- 3,783
This isn't relationships per se, but I'm feeling mighty lonely at the moment. My life is in limbo for the next few months.
I find it really hard to get to know new people and I'm now 23 years old so it's naturall harder.
I need a strategy for when I'm released from this place and can get my life on track.
I find it really hard to get to know new people and I'm now 23 years old so it's naturall harder.
I need a strategy for when I'm released from this place and can get my life on track.
Guys just wondering about this.
Broke up with my ex 3 months ago, she broke up with me. She sends me happy new year message on the 4th
Why did she send me this message bearing in mind i asked to see her a few times 1 month ago and she refused and she is seeing someone else. Sounded like she just wanted attention or to screw with my head because i dont think it was ever her intention to come and see me.
Delete her number/change yours and move on. Cut and sever otherwise you'll end up here every other month when she is bored. If she is seeing someone else why and what would you possibly have to talk about after such a short time after breaking up.
You can't be friends when one still wants the other. It's just attention whoring and looking for justification that you're doing OK and she can feel less guilty about leaving you.
Tell her you know where she is and when you feel able to talk to her again without it messing with your head you'll get back in touch. Then cut, sever and move on.
I wouldn't even give her the satisfaction of letting her know that she is still messing with his head.
Hey guys thanks for the messages guys. You are right. I told her it was odd she wanted to see me, because what do we have to talk about after 3 months? She said yeah, thats why i said it was odd, what part of odd don't you understand?
Some more examples of during our relationship of what she did:
Told me her exes are trying to get back together with her
Tells me she always has guys messaging her
Always pointed out how hot she found guys
Asks me to take her to an airshow (im a pilot) i say why? So i can see the hot military guys
When she went on holiday she told me jewish guys saw it as an aim to try and get with her because she was muslim, we were on a break at the time but wtf??
Told me she can ring up her ex who is from france to get her clothes from her favourite shop in paris so she couldnt believe me when i told her i found it disrespectful that after not seeing her for a week as soon as i visit her room she tells me to get her a mcdonalds from the shop next to her hotel
During her bday she told me of the presents she got from her ex's, because she wants to be honest to me
I comment that her bracelets are nice she tells me she got 1 from some guy on holiday and another from another guy blah blah and tells me when i go to maldives she wants me to get her one because she is collecting them. I told her i find that absolutely ridiculous and she tells me i am being childish and argumentative.
Her present to ME, was a diary, for me to write in when i think about her, at the time i thought it was sweet, but my friends thought it was psychotic.
The sad thing is despite all these things, i guess i fell in love with her, she was my first relationship so i have nothing to compare it to, but my friends said she was a psycho. She had the ability to make me feel bad when really i shouldn't.
After the recent set of messages i talked about previously i ended it by saying she was rude, arrogant, manipulative and attention seeking and that asking if i was at home was an example of this. She then replied saying i was sick, immature and that she just saw the real me and it didn't surprise her. She hoped i would have good luck in finding someone who will accept my narrow minded views. She then blocked me on whatsapp. Few days later she unblocked me, her status is 'I'm addicted to you' obviously refering to someone else. I have no interest in messaging her, just would like to feel less bad and get it off my chest, i even felt guilty for telling her she was rude etc.
Some more examples of during our relationship of what she did:
Told me her exes are trying to get back together with her
Tells me she always has guys messaging her
Always pointed out how hot she found guys
Asks me to take her to an airshow (im a pilot) i say why? So i can see the hot military guys
When she went on holiday she told me jewish guys saw it as an aim to try and get with her because she was muslim, we were on a break at the time but wtf??
Told me she can ring up her ex who is from france to get her clothes from her favourite shop in paris so she couldnt believe me when i told her i found it disrespectful that after not seeing her for a week as soon as i visit her room she tells me to get her a mcdonalds from the shop next to her hotel
During her bday she told me of the presents she got from her ex's, because she wants to be honest to me
I comment that her bracelets are nice she tells me she got 1 from some guy on holiday and another from another guy blah blah and tells me when i go to maldives she wants me to get her one because she is collecting them. I told her i find that absolutely ridiculous and she tells me i am being childish and argumentative.
Her present to ME, was a diary, for me to write in when i think about her, at the time i thought it was sweet, but my friends thought it was psychotic.
The sad thing is despite all these things, i guess i fell in love with her, she was my first relationship so i have nothing to compare it to, but my friends said she was a psycho. She had the ability to make me feel bad when really i shouldn't.
After the recent set of messages i talked about previously i ended it by saying she was rude, arrogant, manipulative and attention seeking and that asking if i was at home was an example of this. She then replied saying i was sick, immature and that she just saw the real me and it didn't surprise her. She hoped i would have good luck in finding someone who will accept my narrow minded views. She then blocked me on whatsapp. Few days later she unblocked me, her status is 'I'm addicted to you' obviously refering to someone else. I have no interest in messaging her, just would like to feel less bad and get it off my chest, i even felt guilty for telling her she was rude etc.
Wow! She's nuts. Literally the worst kind of woman, the one that knows she's hot and will therefore abuse it to the full extent she can get away with.
Good man for getting out, jut remember to stay out. She clearly has no grasp of what empathy is or how derogatory her actions are to everyone else (and oddly herself).
Still got the diary? Maybe a few left over pictures of her? BURN THEM! It'll be all good afterwards. Unless the house sets on fire, so make sure its out side, with lighter fluid...
Good man for getting out, jut remember to stay out. She clearly has no grasp of what empathy is or how derogatory her actions are to everyone else (and oddly herself).
Still got the diary? Maybe a few left over pictures of her? BURN THEM! It'll be all good afterwards. Unless the house sets on fire, so make sure its out side, with lighter fluid...
Soldato
- Joined
- 24 Aug 2009
- Posts
- 2,931
Don't you hate it when you put so much effort in liking a girl, and they say you like you too, but put in a minimal amount of effort known to men kind!
I always have to make the conversation, in person or face to face, Ill compliment her, and I wont get nothing back. She was ment to be coming round for some dinner tonight and meet the parents for the first time. I offered to pick her up and drop her off home, got a text saying "i wont be having tea". I asked her why, she said "I was starving"???? Wasn't sure if serious or just trolling. Anyway, I had some dinner and what not and sent her a text saying "what time will you be ready so i can pick you up?" "Not sure, in out shopping". I told her forget it maybe another night.
Either im just too soft or she really doesn't like me as much as she says she does? Apparently she doesn't know what to say to start conversation so I said "ask anything about me, what im up to, what im doing over the weekend, etc etc" just normal casual stuff you would say. She still ain't took it on board!
MAN, i hate women!
IM just going to play hard to get for, i wont really speak to her, i wont make much of an effort and see if she pulls her finger out.
What are your views?
I always have to make the conversation, in person or face to face, Ill compliment her, and I wont get nothing back. She was ment to be coming round for some dinner tonight and meet the parents for the first time. I offered to pick her up and drop her off home, got a text saying "i wont be having tea". I asked her why, she said "I was starving"???? Wasn't sure if serious or just trolling. Anyway, I had some dinner and what not and sent her a text saying "what time will you be ready so i can pick you up?" "Not sure, in out shopping". I told her forget it maybe another night.
Either im just too soft or she really doesn't like me as much as she says she does? Apparently she doesn't know what to say to start conversation so I said "ask anything about me, what im up to, what im doing over the weekend, etc etc" just normal casual stuff you would say. She still ain't took it on board!
MAN, i hate women!
IM just going to play hard to get for, i wont really speak to her, i wont make much of an effort and see if she pulls her finger out.
What are your views?