Hate Being So Lonely!

StoneColdJoe said:
1.drink, gambling, smoking

3. It's true, i am on benefits.
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Thank god i'm signing off next week. Sick of being lumped into the same generalisation as this when all i was doing was spending the time bettering myself yet i still got viewed as the type of person who turns up to their meeting drunk and the first thing they do after leaving is buy a pack of smokes and head to william hill.

Harsh? Yes.

Maybe it will help you sort things out though.
 
Cut out lots of drinking/smoking/gambling

Find a job

Find hobbies you enjoy

The rest will follow

Trust me on this when I say if I book a week off work and I have nothing planned, I literally turn in to a mess by the second or third day, bored, alone, nothing to do.

Having a job and a few hobbies will sort that right out.
 
Happiness is like a butterfly.
The more you chase it, the more it eludes you.
But if you turn your attention to other things,
It comes and sits softly on your shoulder.
– Henry David Thoreau

Read into this what you will, it does NOT mean do nothing!

This place has had its day for me.

Thought I'd give it another go, but alas.
 
TommyV said:
www.pof.com
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I'm not what you would consider a 'catch' atm lol. Even though i feel soooo lonely nearly all the time, a female companion is at the bottom of my 'to do list' right now, i have enough problems lol :D Like people have said on this thread 'baby steps'

I would really just like to point out, i feel pathetic posting my feelings on a internet forum, its embarrassing i know, but i've really run out of ideas tbh.

To all of you who have posted, constructive, supportive reply's - THANK YOU SO MUCH. Just reading some of them posts has put a massive smile on my face :)
 
sports_brah said:
I would say that this isn't particularly helpful. The smoking and the drinking is something that can bring about social occasions and be "harmless" to a point, but I genuinely do not reckon that gambling brings any happiness for most people.
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Think you missed the point really. They are not great things, but it's not what they are it's why he does those. I was pointing out that those things don't automatically make you unhappy, it must be an much more powerful underlying reason.
Solving those are more likely to make you happy than just stopping a few small vices likes drinking and smoking. Admittedly gambling is not a small vice in most cases. Maybe hit that one on the head if your losing (i.e not very good at it).
 
Feel free to come down to Brighton if you want someone to chat with, hand cv's out (loads of places recruiting), or even just a drink or two.

I'm not the most sociable sod in the world, but I thought I'd make the offer. :)
 
Good luck OP. It must suck to have no qualifications but maybe you could still take up a trade if you are interested? Maybe plumbing, electrician or brickwork if you contact a local college?
 
Getting a job is the best way to make friends in my experience.

Get a job and you hit the heart of your problem.

Considered the forces?
 
Hang on. Chap inviting a lonely member of an internet forum down to Brighton for a drink... It's a trap Joe!

;)

I jest, good on you sports_brah
 
sports_brah said:
Feel free to come down to Brighton if you want someone to chat with, hand cv's out (loads of places recruiting), or even just a drink or two.

I'm not the most sociable sod in the world, but I thought I'd make the offer. :)
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I like Brighton so yeah, sounds good mate. As for the stereotype's of Brighton? Gay? Not a problem to me :)
mufc802 said:
Good luck OP. It must suck to have no qualifications but maybe you could still take up a trade if you are interested? Maybe plumbing, electrician or brickwork if you contact a local college?
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I went for a week, but the college for a bit, painting and decorating. I was 24 at the time and most other students were just out of school. I wouldn't say bullied, but i got teased a lot, not in a banter type way. Slashed my confidence even more tbh.
EdGey said:
Getting a job is the best way to make friends in my experience.

Get a job and you hit the heart of your problem.

Considered the forces?
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Would they take me though? I really have thought about it yes.
 
Haha, sorry to disappoint, but I am most assuredly not a bender. :p

Send me a message in trust when you feel like it. :)


P.s Don't go to college to phag around with painting, get yourself GCSE's & A-Levels, or maybe there is an equivalent? Create genuine options for yourself. And don't worry about snot nosed little cretins, they get weeded out quickly. :)


The armed forces might be an idea, but I would get your life back on track now. From what I read, the forces has a tendency to dump you out at the end, and civilian world could be even tougher then! :(
 
May get Hate for saying this but the OP has made this thread looking for advice as he is lonely and feeling down so there is no point in telling him off like hes a child .
My Advice is Get A dog they say its a man's best friend , Cut down on drinking and smoking (It Will Take Time ) , Try kicking the gambling as if you get a job your only gonna waste your earnings on it . Try looking for work or if your up for it go to college it may help in meeting new people and give you a better career path at the end . Hopefully Things work out . :) :) :) :)
 
Would they take me though? I really have thought about it yes.
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Get yourself on the army/raf/navys site and apply.

If you're medically sound (no asthma etc), then that's the first hurdle, second is getting yourself physically fit for the forces which you can do with enough willpower. No gym membership needed, go running outside, pressups/situps/various other bodyweight exercises at home for free.

With enough commitment you can secure a job in the forces.

Like myself over the past few months I've been through the process and start my training in the army on the 2nd of june, so would be happy to answer any queries you've got. Trust me if you like.


sports_brah said:
The armed forces might be an idea, but I would get your life back on track now. From what I read, the forces has a tendency to dump you out at the end, and civilian world could be even tougher then! :(
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Biggest load of BS ever! Believing crap the media spout out about a few unfortunate few. The forces help you gaining qualifications whilst you serve and also relevant civilian qualifications/nvq's when you leave, these are at subsidised cost and often free. Bear in mind there's loads of jobs in the forces with transferable skills, everything down from firefighters to vehicle mechanics to dental technicians. They also help with everything down to helping you move your belongings to your new home, paid for by them. Also for those wanting to go back into education you can use your learning credits accumlated in the forces to pay for the civilian education.
 
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StoneColdJoe said:
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I feel bad for feeling bad, as millions in this world are a lot more worse off. But still, i really can't help feeling so awful all the time.

<snip>

Just wondered if anyone else is in a simular position atm? Or been there and got out, made a success for change?
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You shouldn't feel bad, you're epressing how you feel and looking for a way to positively improve your life :) It's already been mentioned but you could also consider voluntary work. I was in a similar situation a few years ago, I had lived & worked away a couple of years after uni and when I moved back home I was unemployed & felt pretty vulnerable / low when my friends were working and I could harldy keep myself occupied.

One of my friends was doing a Saturday afternoon in the local Oxfam bookshop and we talked about me doing a shift aswell - one of the finest decisions I have made - great way to keep occupied and have something to look forward to (it was only 4 hours a week usually) and also meet other people, there were lots of other volunteers who worked Saturday afternoons and sometimes we'd go out for a coffee / cinema / food etc (my friend even met his then future wife there) - good way to keep occupied and focussed while improving on your social skills, even contributing to your employability as well (while also positively contributing to the lives of people who may be worse off than yourself) :)
 
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