School Bans "Lethal" Flapjack

MisChief · 25 Mar 2013 at 14:22

Lol wut.

Klytus · 25 Mar 2013 at 14:25

isonomicjedi said:
BBC News: A school has banned triangular flapjacks after an incident where a student threw one across dining hall and injured another pupil.

After testing the composition of flapjack school said it will now only serve square flapjacks as they are less dangerous.

Whhhhaaaaatttt!!!!

But if you cut a square diagonally in half you get........ 2 TRIANGLES - OMG!! Twice the ammo!! :eek:

And wait. If you cut those in half you have 4!!! Dear God, think of the children.

KaiserDJG · 25 Mar 2013 at 14:26

lulz to this entire thread , i tip my hat to you all, then throw it at you!

Gooner Leroy · 25 Mar 2013 at 14:29

KaiserDJG said:
lulz to this entire thread , i tip my hat to you all, then throw it at you!

I hope its not a tricorne!

isonomicjedi · 25 Mar 2013 at 14:30

KaiserDJG said:
lulz to this entire thread , i tip my hat to you all, then throw it at you!

Damn that hurt, caught me right on bridge of nose.

Cosimo · 25 Mar 2013 at 14:31

KaiserDJG said:
lulz to this entire thread , i tip my hat to you all, then throw it at you!

Just think of those poor children.

godinman · 25 Mar 2013 at 14:32

Tunney said:
Banning flapjacks isn't the answer. The only appropriate response is the arm all teachers with flapjacks.

alexthecheese · 25 Mar 2013 at 14:33

The only way I could say that a triangular one would be more dangerous than a square flapjack would be to say that the corners are more pointy on a triangle flapjack, and would perhaps pack more punch (assuming the flapjacks are the same volume), as the contact area would be much smaller on a triangular flapjack.

Clav · 25 Mar 2013 at 14:36

Wow, a real eye-opener there

PapaLazaru · 25 Mar 2013 at 14:36

elmarko said:
Round would be the best for the risk averse confectionery consumer.

No way! A round flapjack is far more 'wangable' so one would imagine the speed that one could 'wang' one, would be faster than one with corners.

bitslice · 25 Mar 2013 at 14:37

Flapjacks don't injure people, people injure people.

They need to reduce the size of the flapjacks from 100g to 80g and require compulsory training in the safe handling and consumption of oatmeal based confectionery.
Giving food to the mentally ill is a bad idea.

Salsa · 25 Mar 2013 at 14:38

Always knew Pythagoras was a criminal mastermind. How long until the Daily Mail brands him a terrorist?

/Salsa

MrMarvelous · 25 Mar 2013 at 14:39

Ban everything, bloody idiots.

estebanrey · 25 Mar 2013 at 14:48

Azza said:
Exactly. I once had a book thrown at my face, in fact it was a psalms book. School didn't ban books and psalms though did they!!

Face Psalms

......I'll get my coat

cjgardens · 25 Mar 2013 at 14:56

Heard about this on the radio today. Only square or rectangle ones from now on.

would have thought square ones are more dangerous because it has more corners so you are more likely to get hit with a corner?

Firestar_3x · 25 Mar 2013 at 15:00

BRB, gonna make a fortune selling circular flapjacks to schools.

isonomicjedi · 25 Mar 2013 at 15:00

The head teacher decided to send a letter to all parents warning of this issue but thought twice when she cut her finger on the dangerously sharp paper.

The Dread Pirate · 25 Mar 2013 at 15:05

A spokesperson for Castle View School said:
I can confirm that the texture and shape of the flapjacks were reviewed following an isolated accident last week.

I'd've loved to be a fly on the wall for that meeting.

DanielMMS · 25 Mar 2013 at 15:06

Flapjacks for school lunch? It was only spotted dick* and custard in my day.

* At least, until the cream started to work but it was a boys' school.

Xire · 25 Mar 2013 at 15:10

School flapjacks were the best.