Bullies ...

[arc@css]

I was bullied at high school, and although I eventually stood up to them which resulted in it stopping, I needlessly took a lot of mental abuse for quite sometime.

My advice is simply inform the staff, something in my case I should have done long before it spiralled out of control. He should feel a lot better once he's got this off his chest. Good luck!

 

[MooMoo444]

This has echoes of my past. My mother and I moved from New Jersey to California. She had a wonderful new job, but I quickly discover that a dark haired Italian boy with a Jersey accent doesn't fit into the blond surfer crowd.

I managed to talk my way out of some fights, but was finally cornered by several who belong to the same karate school. When I was getting beaten up one time, an elderly gardener leapt into the fray and save me by outfighting the half a dozen teenagers.

Together we find out the real motivator behind the boys' violent attitude in the form of their karate teacher. From here, I was taught Karate disguised by doing chores for the old man. I entered the All Valley Karate Tournament later that month and defended my honour by winning the tournament.


Back to reality, I've no time for bullies. You help the boy understand why people are bullies: bad parenting, problems at home, they are bullied themselves, jealousy etc.

I would also invest time in the boy with fitness, confidence / self esteem. Even taking up a fitness / boxing class. "We learn to fight so we don't have to fight".

Haha I thought this seemed familiar, didn't get it till the 'back to reality' XD

 

[oulton]

**** with the bully's mind.

Tell your nephew to go out collecting dog poo and take it to school on a P.E day. When the class is on tell him to sneak back into the changing room and smear it all over the bullies school bag and clothes

He will smell like poo and lose respect!

 

[Haggisman]

that seems like a SELFISH statement. just because it isnt you or your son/daughter, then everything is hunky dory?

C'est la vie.

We can't all go around being the knight in shining armour, taking all the **** so no one else has to.

 

[Musty Pie]

So you are going to do nothing then? (Or "let the headmaster deal with it" which you will quickly find out means exactly the same thing).

I'm thinking you don't have a clear idea what bullying does to people or you wouldn't be dumping him back into the system.

Bit of an assumption on your behalf there mate? And it has done nothing but make you look like a ****.

I am fully aware of what bullying can do to people.

I am also fully aware of the legal implications of assult.

At what point did I say I am going to "do nothing"

 

[bitslice]

I am fully aware of what bullying can do to people.
I am also fully aware of the legal implications of assult.

If it was my family the second clause would mean jack, this is why I doubt that you really know what bullying does. Yes it has degrees of effect, but since the kid was a wreck let's assume the worst case here.

At what point did I say I am going to "do nothing"

About the time you posted this thread having done nothing?

You think the school is going to help? I've seen all this only a few months ago, letters to Ofsted, Police visits, multiple meetings with the headmaster and concerned parents, parents of other kids who were bullied going back over a year. Withdrawal of kid from school.

Total . Waste . Of . Time

Poor kid had to move school and go to therapy.




Here you go
http://www.bullying.co.uk/advice/contacting-school-0

Go waste your time imagining the system to protect children is anything more than a tick box on a government report.

/

 

[Haggisman]

If it was my family the second clause would mean jack, this is why I doubt that you really know what bullying does. Yes it has degrees of effect, but since the kid was a wreck let's assume the worst case here.

You think that having his dad sent to prison for assaulting a minor, or worse, his dad being hospitalised/killed by the bully's chav family is going to be less damaging for the kid?

Time to put the G15 down I think!

 

[bitslice]

You think that having his dad sent to prison for assaulting a minor, or worse, his dad being hospitalised/killed by the bully's chav family is going to be less damaging for the kid?

It's his brother, not his Dad?
LOL, I do actually have a G15, but it's on the shelf, it's awful. I had to look up what you were on about though
The bully appears to be able to get away with breaking some kids eye socket, but I'm sure an adult can be discrete.

 

[ilcp]

C'est la vie.

We can't all go around being the knight in shining armour, taking all the **** so no one else has to.

That is not what I meant. i don't want you to take all the ****. it is the way you worded it.

This is why people don't help each other when some retard attacks someone, they think its not happening to them so why help? What they don't realise it that it could be them the next time!

 

[holymonk]

that seems like a SELFISH statement. just because it isnt you or your son/daughter, then everything is hunky dory?

It may be selfish but its effective.

At the end of the day, bullying is still a massive issue in schools and not enough is being done.

You do what you have to do sometimes in life to get along, people discuss alternatives but none of them seem that effective and people still get bullied.

What I did / was told to do was effective and it worked.... it all stopped after that - the old expression of 'man up'.

 

[Housey]

Haha! Move class? That will almost certainly make >.< that much difference...



Sounds great written down, in practice if the bully isn't removed from school (either by the police or expelled) then what will most likely happen is the day after the discussion the ops kid will coke back with black eyes and lots of bruises... The school need to know (and probably already do... At least individual teachers), unfortunately if they act on it any other way that with absolute authority then things won't change for the better.

It's basically no different than trying to get someone else to do the dirty work, the bully has even less respect for the bullied.

I'd be interested to know if anyone was ever properly bullied and it was all sorted out by the teacher having a quick word with the bully and their parents...?

You can try this approach, but don't be surprised if the kids parents just make the situation worse. Bullies are invariably from bad homes where bullying runs in the family. They already know the boy broke someone's eye socket, it's probably something the whole family are proud of.

The school/police can reasonably act upon serious physical bullying, but it's extremely difficult to tackle the verbal side or minor scuffles.

My advice would be find a girlfreind and get her to sort him out. Teenage boys are scared of feisty females.

To both of your points. I have recently dealt with this exact situation for a close family member. The problem has been resolved but if you take this action don't do it half arsed, which is where many people go wrong. In this situation and as I said in my post don't be surprised if the family of the bully is a root cause of the problem and you need to ensure this is dealt with. You can't win them all, but I took this approach and in the last 4 months said child has not heard a light from the bullies, I'm sure they moved on to a kid with less hassle.

 

[Haggisman]

It's his brother, not his Dad?
LOL, I do actually have a G15, but it's on the shelf, it's awful. I had to look up what you were on about though

I meant the kid's dad (or if it's the OP that takes matters into his own hands, the kid's uncle).

The bully appears to be able to get away with breaking some kids eye socket, but I'm sure an adult can be discrete.

Do you actually believe that the OP/kid's dad would get away with giving the bully a kicking with no repercussions?

While I'm sure many of us wish that were the case, the reality of it is that he would either be sent down, or there would be retaliation from the bully's family.

That is not what I meant. i don't want you to take all the ****. it is the way you worded it.

This is why people don't help each other when some retard attacks someone, they think its not happening to them so why help? What they don't realise it that it could be them the next time!

There's a difference between taking measures to stop yourself being attacked, and actively stepping in to help someone else.

A bully will always try to find themselves an easy victim. Harsh as it sounds, the best survival tactic is to make sure you're not the easiest. In an ideal world, no, you wouldn't want them to move on to another victim, but in an ideal world there wouldn't be a bully in the first place

 

[bitslice]

Do you actually believe that the OP/kid's dad would get away with giving the bully a kicking with no repercussions?

I do believe you skim read people's posts though Nobody mentioned his Dad.
If the OP is unknown to the bully then yes he can get away with it.

Post #49 is better though.

 

[Musty Pie]

Horse ****

You are quite simply unbelievable. I could waste my time explaining why I personally think you are wrong but my efforts are better spent elsewhere.

Thanks for the advice so far guys.

 

[bitslice]

Pussy

 

[Maccy]

bitslice, if you've got nothing constructive to say then I suggest you refrain from posting.

 

[bitslice]

bitslice, if you've got nothing constructive to say then I suggest you refrain from posting.

Ironically I'm the only one who posted the details of the 'correct procedure'
http://www.bullying.co.uk/advice/contacting-school-0

But suggesting that official procedure is mere fantasy is apparently not constructive?
Why don't we all toe the PC party line on every subject then? It's not like any kid is going to get ****** up for life while mewling adults are busy filling in forms and writing letters and patting themselves on the back for doing what Mummy says. My opinion of them is as above.

If schools gave a flying monkey **** then children would not have to move schools to "solve" their problem.

 

[Xordium]

If schools gave a flying monkey **** then children would not have to move schools to "solve" their problem.

Yes I am sure they are far too lazy to implement the instant guaranteed one shot fix to a complex problem with broad sociological stimuli and implications.

 

[Maccy]

Look at your post above mine.

 

[bitslice]

Yes I am sure they are far too lazy to implement the instant guaranteed one shot fix to a complex problem with broad sociological stimuli and implications.

I've witnessed wilful inaction from one headmaster, yes, and heard similar reports from others. Given that the problem originates outside of school then I wouldn't put my faith in them to start with, some people seem to rush to hand responsibility to the State even for their own offspring.

Look at your post above mine.

Merely crowd sourced feedback, he can be offended if he likes or he can fill in a form complaining about my blatant emotional bullying and subversion of his masculinity. He might even stop wringing his hands and deal with it properly, I don't care, I only care about what that kid is going to go through if somebody doesn't get off the internet and help him.