dad tried to commit suicide

Hades said:
I feel for you both. The only advice I can offer is to remind him that suicide is a permanent solution to a temporary problem. Time does heal.
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Very good post, I suffered with very dark thoughts in the past this would have been words for me to read. Mine weren't for any reason though, just had them.
 
My Dad was in this situation about 4 years ago. He had been with his partner for about 10 years and then she just left him out of the blue.

He plunged into depression. Was on uppers, sleeping tablets, everything. He mentioned suicide a couple of times, but I never thought he had the guts to do it, and luckily he didn't.

After a while, he sold a flat of his in Portugal, and the money from that allowed him to do other things. He bought himself a nice car, went on holiday to see old friends, set himself up in the karaoke business.

It was amazing. As soon as he felt he had a purpose and things to look forward to, his demeanour changed, and now, after 4 years, all his money may have gone, but he's happy again.

I'm not saying money is necessary, but it was amazing how he started to feel so much better when he turned his mind to other things. And as others have said, all these things took time, which in itself naturally heals.
 
Glad to hear your Dad is better now.

Mine has money left over when bills have been paid at the end of the month but not a lot.

He was saying how he wanted a PC because browsing on his phone was a pain so I ordered a cheap thing off ebay to cheer him up but it hasn't arrived yet.

He doesn't have any hobbies other than going out on his motorbike for a run now and again.
 
its the emptiness, the "what the hell did i used to fill all this time with" feeling that will be getting to him atm.

best thing is if he wants to talk talk but if not it's not the be all and end all. doing things usualy works way way better than talking anyway.

tequilla, nerf guns/supersoakers, disposable bbq, local park. ftw :p

He doesn't have any hobbies other than going out on his motorbike for a run now and again.
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he go with other people or alone? see if you can get him to go ona ride or two with a local bike group. once he's sat in a cafe tucking into his full english arguing with people over thier bikes he'll help realise theres a world outside of his ex.

plus it'll hopefully get him more involed and meeting people again, more importantly new people who have no idea about his ex
 
Hospital just rang me and said that they are keeping him overnight but the dose he took wasn't fatal, he is a big guy and they caught it quick before it did any damage.

I can try and get some sleep tonight now I'm not biting my nails.

Thanks for the words and advice everyone.
 
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dont envy you buddy. MY old man had a major heart attack last year and requires a heart transplant.

He is now living life as if he does not care, doing silly things smoking silly things, eating silly things. He has given up and nobody can talk any sense into him.

I have stepped away as much as possible. He lives 30 seconds away and I have not seen him in months. I cant deal with his attitude as nobody can help. So I understand how you feel kind of.

I would certainly try to be there for him, unless you feel its no good. He lives with you so its not easy to turn of.

good luck and glad hes ok.
 
glen8 said:
if he's in hospital then won't the nurses get someone in to talk to him?

surely they can't just fix him up and send him on his way?
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wwellhe'll be hassled by the team there who will ask

"what did you do"

"why did you do this"

"are you going to do it again"


this will be asked by about 3-6 people one after the other with none of them informing the next til lyou either give up or they run out of staff then send you on your way
 
glen8 said:
if he's in hospital then won't the nurses get someone in to talk to him?

surely they can't just fix him up and send him on his way?
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Like I mentioned further up this thread, get onto the CRISIS team as he clearly has a mental health issue (suicide thoughts and denial etc). They do home visits usually but they will come out to the hospital as well.
 
With a bit of luck, the fact he survived his ordeal might be a wake up call but if not try and be as patient with him as you can, keep him busy as best you can, tell him you need your dad around and try and do stuff with him, even if its going for evening strolls. He needs to keep his mind focused on anything other than how bad he feels.
 
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Sorry to hear this OP, tough times :(

Just as a note to the earlier reply, Samaritans will not give you any advice but they will lend a non-judgemental ear to your dad when he needs to talk things through and clear this mind a bit, especially useful if he won't open up to you or someone he know, or indeed anyone face to face.
 
Tefal said:
wwellhe'll be hassled by the team there who will ask

"what did you do"

"why did you do this"

"are you going to do it again"


this will be asked by about 3-6 people one after the other with none of them informing the next til lyou either give up or they run out of staff then send you on your way
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Unfortunately this has been my experience too.

DailyGeek said:
Sorry to hear this OP, tough times :(

Just as a note to the earlier reply, Samaritans will not give you any advice but they will lend a non-judgemental ear to your dad when he needs to talk things through and clear this mind a bit, especially useful if he won't open up to you or someone he know, or indeed anyone face to face.
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Give him the number as well. Insist that if he feels like doing it again that he call it first. I went through a stage where I was in the same place and carrying that crisis number helped a lot. Just because I thought to myself "if it gets that bad, I'll park the car and ring them before I go over the cliff" and that was sort of enough.
 
One potential positive for you OP might be that the method meant he didn't really want to die, it was more a cry for help, especially given the apparent root cause of his ex not responding to his attempts to contact her.

Adult males often use a more violent method, one they cannot be rescued from.

If so then it might be he's more open to talking to someone than you might think, and probably someone impartial, he could well feel he's let you down and is now embarrassed.
 
I spoke to him this morning and he seemed back to "normal", I know this isn't the case but hopefully nearly dying has scared him.

Told him that I love him and didn't want to lose him, will see how it goes when he comes home.
 
I think it's perfectly normal for him to behave as he was previously, however that could be a sign of him realising he didn't want to do it and he was just at an ultra low.
 
Did u take him to hospital? If he has actually swallowed 30 tablets and u just made him sick them up, it's not the best way to deal with it as some drugs are absorbed very quickly so he could still OD! The A&E staff will get him assessed by the psychiatric team, if it was paracetamol it might initially make you go to sleep but you are going to wake up about 12 hours later in a world of pain and without help will die a very painful death.

If he's actively suicidal he needs assessing ASAP and might even be made to stay in hospital until he's stabilised. Mental health is no joke, there's no shame in asking for help from professionals!
 
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