There is a huuuuuuuugggeeeeee difference between other people's children and your own. Other peoples kids are annoying. Your own child is amazeballs. I suppose we are biologically programmed to feel that way.
Not wanting kids and dating
- Thread starter triggerthat
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There is a huuuuuuuugggeeeeee difference between other people's children and your own. Other peoples kids are annoying. Your own child is amazeballs. I suppose we are biologically programmed to feel that way.
OP
Turn gay or date a shemale, they you cant have kids
I don't think I could deal with anyone who'd want to swap around at half time.
Also, you can't "turn" gay.
Many of my friends who have had kids in their teen's, early 20's due to "accidents" Don't regret having them but wish they waited longer to have a more of a life or found a better partner.
I am coming to that age of wonderful 30 in a few weeks, I don't have kids and don't want them either but on the dating seen. Women who are in the 30's and don't have kids I need to watch out for. As that suppose "accident" can happen.
Especially the women who decide to get pregnant within less than a year of being with someone......they are dangerous!!
Soldato
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Yes because having sex with women has no consequences right, and pregnancy is all the work of the devil woman?
If these women are so dangerous I would suggest you avoid having sex with them in the first place. Or at least protect yourself by wearing 2 condoms every time you have sex.
Or even better, just have the snip and do evolution a favour
To the OP - Just be honest about it at all times. But you may find that it is something you come round to. At your age I felt the same way. Then I met someone, fell in love, bought a house and got married. Now we are trying for a family, and kids is actually something I want more as I get older.
As cliche as it is, the phrase "never say never" springs to mind
OP, assuming that you are meeting woman of a similar age to yourself, they get worried (and rightly so) that after the age of 30 their chances of being able to have children start to drop off.
Late 20s - early 30s is prime "motherhood" time, you need to be upfront with your partner, or date women 40+ where there is a much lower chance of this happening
Late 20s - early 30s is prime "motherhood" time, you need to be upfront with your partner, or date women 40+ where there is a much lower chance of this happening
To the OP - Just be honest about it at all times. But you may find that it is something you come round to. At your age I felt the same way. Then I met someone, fell in love, bought a house and got married. Now we are trying for a family, and kids is actually something I want more as I get older.
As cliche as it is, the phrase "never say never" springs to mind
The way I see it, one has to think with one's head and not heart when it comes to having kids. Do it because you want it, you can afford it, you can give them a good life.
There are so many worse reasons why people have kids:
- it gives their lives a 'purpose'
- they want to continue their bloodlines
- they want someone to look after them when they're older
- they're curious to see what they would look like
These reasons are all coming from people thinking about themselves - and because they benefit - rather than because they want a kid and just want to give it a good life. I value my independence far too much, and there are far too many people on the planet anyway. As far as I'm concerned, my bloodline stops here [some people here may say that's a good thing].
Man of Honour
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I used to love being in a relationship where only us two mattered. It was very self-centred, with no kids, and we could do whatever we wanted when we wanted. It was great for years. Then we decided something was missing. Along came our son 8 years later and it's just amazing now. Hard work, but so rewarding. Only parents really know what I mean, and it's very difficult to try and explain otherwise. The thing is, you're not ready for kids, that's fine. But I'm sure one day you will be. What I'm trying to say is don't dwell on the matter too much. You're only 28. Live life and be happy mate. Don't plain refuse to date a girl just because she has happened to put she wants kids 'one day' on a dating website.
My brother has 4 kids, my sisters have 3 between them. I think they've done my share for me!
I feel genuinely sorry for anyone who's an only child and is pressured by their family into having kids. Most of my family have given up on the idea of me providing nieces/nephews/grandchildren for them now. Yeah, them because they are being selfish and not thinking about how it'd impact me and how I want a peaceful life.
Yes because having sex with women has no consequences right, and pregnancy is all the work of the devil woman?
If these women are so dangerous I would suggest you avoid having sex with them in the first place. Or at least protect yourself by wearing 2 condoms every time you have sex.
I'm perfectly fine, as I dont. I'm not walking round with kids from unplanned pregnancies but as mentioned in the thread about theses "accidents" Yes, there are women out their who are on the pill, so the trust is their between them and their partner. Women mis-takes the pill or stops taking it without telling their partner. Which Hurfdurf referred to as 'baby trapped' Then you get the result "I'm pregnant and I'm to have this baby with or without you"
I've never, ever wanted kids of my own. I'm now 42 and my feelings on the subject are no different. Having said that my current partner of 3 years has 2 children from a previous relationship, but they are in their mid to late twenties and were not living at home when I met her.
Soldato
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My personal development teacher gave me a very good piece of advice when I was at school:
If you are not fully prepared to face all of the consequences of having sex, then simply do not do it.
Additionally, what is to stop a man always wearing a condom even if his girlfriend is on the pill?
At the end of the day, pill or no, it is the responsibility of BOTH people to make sure that pregnancy is avoided if it is not wanted. Of course, adults completely abstaining from sex is not a realistic approach, but BOTH parties doing what they can to minimise unwanted pregancy is.
So just wear a condom - it is not perfect, but it got me through many years of sex without a single unwanted pregancy
I feel that a woman being on the pill is not an excuse for the man to not do his part as well.
Soldato
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Indeed, and this is why we are trying for a family now. We both want children and we are both now in a position where having a child is realisitc. We are as stable and as secure as we are ever likely to be, so now seems like a good time!
Well, as I am 31, and have now been exposed to more and more aspects of parenthood, the general drudgery of day-today life appeals to me in no way at all. The world is pretty messed up too, teenagers have it weird right now, let alone what it will be like in another 15 years.
I may be selfish, but I am honestly so.
I may be selfish, but I am honestly so.
Good, be selfish. This is what breeders are always telling childfree people. "You're selfish". No, they are more selfish.
And if I am selfish, at least I'm happy.
Soldato
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Ours is a difficult one. I'm 30, she's 31, and I've told her from beginning that I don't want kids. I think she's been kind of holding out waiting for me to change my mind but I only find my resolve in the matter strengthening with each year.
We're only just moving into a situation this very month where money coming in is regularly going to be in a surplus. This means we might actually be able to have a proper blow-out holiday either next summer or 2015 for the first time, well, ever. Of course, this also concides with her biologically mandated upcoming broodfest. My mind's made up, though. I'm not struggling through all these years to finally get some kind of financial stability only to throw away my liberation by adding children. If getting ourselves sorted financially means it's too late then so be it, but I'm not going to bow just because time has caught up if things aren't right.
Not to mention that I hate children; find them very uncomfortable and unpalatable to be around. I hate the oyster-world attitude of many parents, and I really just don't feel there's room in my life for a little one. I have no desire to sacrifice the tiny vestage of "me" time that I have left in my day as it is, and the very last thing I need is more stress. Hell no.
We're only just moving into a situation this very month where money coming in is regularly going to be in a surplus. This means we might actually be able to have a proper blow-out holiday either next summer or 2015 for the first time, well, ever. Of course, this also concides with her biologically mandated upcoming broodfest. My mind's made up, though. I'm not struggling through all these years to finally get some kind of financial stability only to throw away my liberation by adding children. If getting ourselves sorted financially means it's too late then so be it, but I'm not going to bow just because time has caught up if things aren't right.
Not to mention that I hate children; find them very uncomfortable and unpalatable to be around. I hate the oyster-world attitude of many parents, and I really just don't feel there's room in my life for a little one. I have no desire to sacrifice the tiny vestage of "me" time that I have left in my day as it is, and the very last thing I need is more stress. Hell no.
Get out. That's the best advice I can give. And just as your resolve will strengthen over time, so will hers. Neither of you will change your mind unless you are forced to.
As I said, I had to get out of a four-year relationship for this reason. She is now married with kids, just as she wanted. But I refused to give that to her.
My personal development teacher gave me a very good piece of advice when I was at school:
If you are not fully prepared to face all of the consequences of having sex, then simply do not do it.
Additionally, what is to stop a man always wearing a condom even if his girlfriend is on the pill?
At the end of the day, pill or no, it is the responsibility of BOTH people to make sure that pregnancy is avoided if it is not wanted. Of course, adults completely abstaining from sex is not a realistic approach, but BOTH parties doing what they can to minimise unwanted pregancy is.
So just wear a condom - it is not perfect, but it got me through many years of sex without a single unwanted pregancy
I feel that a woman being on the pill is not an excuse for the man to not do his part as well.
You are jaw droppingly naive....
I also hope you previous post recommending 2 condoms was a joke/ troll.
If you are in a 'relationship' and a woman says she is on the pill and then deliberately doesn’t take it, yet lies to the man and says she is taking it....you think this is acceptable as the man should be wearing a condom despite the pill being just shy of 100% effective when used properly?? If your answer to this is yes, words cannot describe how ridiculous you are.
A friend of mine was 'trapped' by one of these baby hungry ****s....it’s not nice and is an awful way to bring a child up into the world.