Work advise...

Soldato
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1 Dec 2005
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Stoke on Trent
Ok this could be a long one...

Basically to cut a long story short in August 2012 I submitted a request for flexible working to my employer. In the request I asked to work 16 hours and to only do night shifts every 3 to 4 weeks. I asked for this pattern to start in October 2012, giving them the required 28 days notice and chance to arrange any meetings they may wish to have.

Anyhow no meetings were arranged and the ( then ) store manager verbally told me that it was all ok and that no meetings were necessary. So October arrives and sure enough I start working 16 hours, and have done so since.

Now the problem I have is they have been putting me on nights pretty much every week. Ive worked them because I don't really want to rock the boat although I have expressed my annoyance to my manager that im doing so many nights.

However, my partner and I have an 18 month old and hes hard work. My partner isn't coping very well and needs a lot of help from me. This isn't helped when im on nights as she dosent have me to help through the night then when I do come home im in bed. So basically no help at all.

Im thinking of writing a letter to my employer stating that im unhappy that my original request isn't been adhered to and insisting that I only work nights every 3 to 4 weeks.

Im rather concered though that the previous manager dosent seem to have followed the correct protocol in agreeing the flexible working pattern and the new current manager will simply say that theres nothing I can do as procedure wasn't followed.

However im inclined to say that if protocol wasn't followed its not my problem, all that matters to me is that surely by working 16 hours my request was accepted. So they cant accept just pick and choose what they agree to and what they don't.

So basically if she says no I cant do less nights as per my original request, is there anyone I can complain to apart from filing an official grievance.
 
I would say before you put anything down on paper and formally handing it in, have a chat with your manager, explain the situation and you never know, they may be accommodating.

If that doesn't pay dividends you can then go down the formal route.
 
Well I had a brief chat last week about it. In the past 4 weeks 3 of the weeks have been night weeks. Then I went in today to see im on more nights next week. So she didn't take any notice of what I said at all :(
 
I would say before you put anything down on paper and formally handing it in, have a chat with your manager, explain the situation and you never know, they may be accommodating.

If that doesn't pay dividends you can then go down the formal route.

This is very sound advice and it's what I would have suggested - rather than following the official route have a word in the ear of your immediate manager and tactfully present your situation. Also, don't go in all guns blazing as that wont help anyone! If after trying the softly approach you're getting no joy then go down the formal route and see how you get on.


Do you really think the OP needs help with his/her grammar? If you've nothing constructive to add then the back button is in the top left of your screen . . . . . .
 
Flexible working is not at your demand I'm afraid.

Your employer has to consider your request, but you can not dictate what you will and will not work just because it suits you better. It's about getting a balance which works for both employer and employee.

If you can not work what is required from you then you might do better looking elsewhere.
 
if an informal discussion did not solve the issue then perhaps ask for a meeting to discuss the issue officially. Then escalate accordingly.


However...
16 hours a week? Thats not a lot of hours. Its not exactly a lot of your week either. So I can see why they might not agree with your request if it affects other workers who work more hours than you..
 
Do you really think the OP needs help with his/her grammar? If you've nothing constructive to add then the back button is in the top left of your screen . . . . . .

No of course not, the guy is a freaking hero, however there have been 471 other people who have in the past used the word "Advise" while making threads.
At around the 450th repetition of this typo I thought I'd start pointing this out, then maybe people would stop getting on my nerves :)
 
However...
16 hours a week? Thats not a lot of hours. Its not exactly a lot of your week either. So I can see why they might not agree with your request if it affects other workers who work more hours than you..

I'd agree with this and suggest that if your other half isn't coping then there's something more wrong than just the stress of looking after the child.
 
If your only working 16 hours, surely you can only be doing 2 nights? And if your not doing 8 hour shifts i don't see how it can be that difficult if it's a few hours a night.

Sounds like your just lazy to me, i have 2 kids and manage to cope fine doing 3 times as many hours as that. Your wife probably senses it and that's why she can't cope because she is ****** at how lazy you are and it's making her depressed :D
 
When I was a lad I used to work 3x 16hr shifts in a day let alone a week

People have it too easy these days sheesh
 
However...
16 hours a week? Thats not a lot of hours. Its not exactly a lot of your week either. So I can see why they might not agree with your request if it affects other workers who work more hours than you..

I was just thinking this?

16 hours is basically two shifts - surely your partner can cope for two nights a week on her own, if you're there to pick up the slack for the other 5 nights a week?

If you're working < 8 hours / day, then surely you can help overnight too?

And sort of related, at 18 months old your child should need far less attention overnight than it appears to need. Have you looked at addressing this too?
 
If your only working 16 hours, surely you can only be doing 2 nights? And if your not doing 8 hour shifts i don't see how it can be that difficult if it's a few hours a night.

Sounds like your just lazy to me, i have 2 kids and manage to cope fine doing 3 times as many hours as that. Your wife probably senses it and that's why she can't cope because she is ****** at how lazy you are and it's making her depressed :D

If I was lazy id be on the dole and be better off for it.

But yeah 2 nights isn't that much and I don't relly mind doing it, im getting a lot of hassle from the other half.

And I do all the housework, cooking cleaning etc. She just looks to the baby. Sop I don't know what more I can do.

But my original question in the OP was can an employer chose which part of a flexible working request they honor and don't. Especially when it was all accepted originally.
 
I would say they are already being very flexible! You are working part time with very low hours.

Perhaps the main issue here is with the child's night-time routine/sleeping habits, not your working arrangements. If the wee one was sleeping through the night, would the other problems get easier to deal with?

Oh, and please dont call the OP lazy, we don't really know his circumstances and there could be some very good reasons why he has to work such short hours, and assist his Mrs.
 
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Yup, to add to my original point, as stated above.

We have a 10 month old, who gets put to bed at 7pm (bedtime routine starts at 6-6:15 every night) and who will then sleep through till 5-6am. When he wakes up, early he generally plays around in his cot till the Mrs gets up at 6am.

I am not an expert on childcare at all, but the Mrs has enforced this strict routine, and it seems to have worked very well!

18 months, should be sleeping through the night without issue really. What happens at night with the child?

This is part of the issue. He generally falls asleep around 7ish. Then hes put in his bed. As soon as he crys she gets him and puts him in our bed. If it try to intervene I get it in the neck. Even the health visitors tried to advise her but she just thinks somethings wrong if he crys.

So concequently shes getting disturbed sleep and its making her cranky and its me that gets the brunt of it

When im off I keep telling her to go have some time to herself, go town, go her mums, go the pub do whatever just to get a break but she says no she dosent want to leave the baby. So I cant win whatever I do :(
 
Then the problem is your partners attitude and not your working arrangements, she'll only find something else to complain about :p

You NEED to change those sleeping habits.
 
I would say they are already being very flexible! You are working part time with very low hours.

Perhaps the main issue here is with the child's night-time routine/sleeping habits, not your working arrangements. If the wee one was sleeping through the night, would the other problems get easier to deal with?

Oh, and please dont call the OP lazy, we don't really know his circumstances and there could be some very good reasons why he has to work such short hours, and assist his Mrs.
I'd love to live in your perfect world. Or anyone that has a young baby that sleeps through from a young age!

Our 3 year old daughter has a strict routine (8pm), but she only started sleeping through the night until she was about 18-20 months old. Even then, she will wake at 5:30am. We used to leave her in the cot to cry herself to sleep, but you still get woken up and sometimes when they're young they do need feed/changing etc (as you know).

Every child is different, but when you're getting up every 2hrs, a night can seem like an eternity. It was killer having to go to work on 2hrs sleep and I don't begrudge anyone wanting help in that situation :(

@OP I'd just put your foot down and try a full week without going in and bringing the baby in to your bed. You'll end up with a 5 year old who won't sleep alone otherwise!!
 
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