Help with letter to MD

Jonnybmac

Jonnybmac

Jonnybmac

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Currerntly just finished an email to the Managing Director of the company I work for. would like someone to have a read through and tell me if it seems acceptable and you would be happy to read if sent.

mr 1 = md
mr 2 = design manager

Dear Mr 1

I'm currently employed at *my company", specifically in the components cell of aero structures.

I had a brief chat with you on the shop floor back in may, regarding a meeting you had previously set up between myself and Mr 2 about my studies at college in Computer Aided Design.
You asked for me to remind you on about it when I see you next, as you had something planned but had to respeak to Mr 2 more about it, to which I haven't had the opportunity to do so.

Since my previous meeting with Mr 2, I have taken the time effectively to continue with my studies at college, advancing on to the 3D aspects of CAD, whilst also setting myself projects to work off at home to further enhance my skills and to improve on what I'm already learning in college. I'm currently registered to a level 2 3D inventor course, but my tutor has advised I move up to level 3 as he feels the level 2 course is not challenging enough based on what I already know.

This field of work greatly interests me and I feel its something I should have done sooner as I enjoy the challenges and creativity aspects it brings. I've considered my options considerably, and would love for this to be a career path I take for the future; to which I wish to take further than college and into Higher Education through the Open University.
This option is not something I've taken lightly, as it will require a large sum of money and many hours of self motivated dedication to which I feel I'm ready to work for. I've already put steps in place to get the ball moving, but the Open University require that I give them some stable direction towards the path i wish to take and not the multiple unsureness I have at the moment.

my concern is not knowing how much or what exactly I would need to make me attractable in a CAD department whilst also worrying I may spend considerable amounts of money and time to not progress further than I currently am in terms of job roles. I feel honored and proud to be part of a company such as *my company", and would love to continue my employment here for many years to come. It would satisfy me greatly to know that I could improve my skills and work towards becoming part of *my company's" CAD team in the future should a position become available, and something I wish to work hard towards to achieve.

I enclose links to a couple projects I have completed from parts - assembly - showcase to demonstrate my current ability, and I thank you for your time in reading this message,

Sincerely
Jonathan McFarland

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=47WfANQ2PPk
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7s92biVT0iI
Click to expand...
 
'respeak' and 'attractable' aren't words. There are a number of other typos but spell checker should catch them.

It's very long for a letter to an MD and he certainly won't look at youtube videos.

I'm also not entirely sure what you're actually saying or asking for but I haven't had any coffee yet so it's probably user error on my part.

e : just checked and it appears that 'attractable' actually is a word. It's still a rubbish word so use a different one.
 
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I would go on what the design manager says and keep an eye out for a vacancy.

My view is that the message is a bit too long winded.
 
Could re-write it if you want but how big is your company / how like is your MD to even look at this?
 
Basically I had talks with mr 2 about maybe going into the design team for 3 hours a week possibly, to do tutorials and be given set tasks to help improve my CAD skills. this never arised so I then asked the MD who had set up the meeting and was meant to be putting something in place, as to if it was stil happening. He assured me he had something set for me and to remind him on as he may forget, but hes a big intimidating guy and I never had to balls to remind him, so I just continued with my studies so I had abit more to go back with.

Recently we had a big meeting at work due to him moving from Director to Managing Director, and he pointed out that he once worked on the shop floor and got to where he was, and others can do too and he encourages people to move forward in the complany, to which I'm here writting an email to remind him and maybe assist in me moving forward in the company.

Company is 600-800, and email address is used regular

My previous meeeting was instigated from my Team Lead emailing several people throughout the company explainign that I'm learning CAD in my own time at my own choice and asking if there would be any opputunities to which the MD(Director at the time) emailed back with great intrest, putting me forward to a meeting with the design team manager.
 
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It doesnt really that great - things like 'considerably considered' just don't work and sound like waffle you've put in to try and make yourself sound different. I'd cut that sort of stuff out.

'This option is not something I've taken lightly' - you've not taken any option, so this makes no sense. Perhaps it needs to say it's not a decision you've taken likely.
 
I think you've overworked this a bit, and ended up with a letter that reads quite badly. I had to read this sentence three times to figure out what on earth you meant:

"You asked for me to remind you on about it when I see you next, as you had something planned but had to respeak to Mr 2 more about it, to which I haven't had the opportunity to do so."

Also, the overall impression I get is that you're trying to tell your MD about yourself, but you haven't actually asked a question of any kind? Perhaps shorten the entire thing, and - no offence - get to the point quicker. What do you actually want? If he's interested in your situation and remembers your previous contact, he'll probably appreciate the brevity!
 
Opputunities is what I want. Reassurance that im not just wasting my time trying to better myself to gain nothing.. Direction, I wouldnt mind being told what they require for someone in that position, or what they would require me to do to gain a position and move off the shop floor.

I guess I have waffled on abit, which is why I posted it here as Its a great place to get honest advice which I appreciate.

That does read bad, I just didnt know what to say to make this letter not sound like im trying to beg/tell him what to do and more point out he did ask me to remind him, and nothing has come of it yet, so im here reminding him.

He also never told me what he had planned, just that he had something planned, and mr 2 never knew when we had a meeting what exactly the meeting was for other than to delve deeper into what im doing, but he was happy for me to go into his department to work, learn and mingle with the lads and pick as much infomation and experience as i can, but it was ultimately up the the MD.
For me it just seems it was just a got my hopes up for nothing, but then why would he put me in a meeting if that was the case? and also say he had something planned?
 
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Probably depends on size of company.. When I worked for a company with only 50 employees I generally saw/spoke to my MD on a daily basis. Due to the size and scale of this company I'll probably see my MD walking past my area once-twice a month if I'm lucky
 
You'll get more benefit from getting 10 or 15 minutes in his calendar than a badly worded and difficult to understand letter which his PA, rather than him, will read and then file in the bin.

Is that possible?
 
I've taken the initiative to cut the fat out of your letter, it's a start. :)
Dear Mr 1

We had a brief chat on the shop floor back in May, regarding a meeting we had previously set up between myself and Mr 2 about my studies at college in Computer Aided Design.

You asked for me to remind you on about it when I see you next, as you had something planned but had to speak to Mr 2 more about it, to which I haven't had the opportunity to do so.

Since my previous meeting with Mr 2, I have continued with my studies at college, advancing with CAD, whilst setting myself tasks in my spare time. I'm currently registered to a level 2 3D inventor course, but my tutor has suggested I move up to level 3, he feels the course is not challenging enough for me.

I would love for CAD to be a career path learning at the Open University. I've got the ball rolling, but the University requires that I give them some direction towards the path I wish to take.

My concern is not knowing what exactly I would need to make me attractive to the CAD department.

I enclose links to a couple projects I have completed .

Sincerely
Click to expand...
 
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