God damnit :/ Again (Relationship Thread)

Just woke up I feel worse :/ Damn

I'm 20 for anyone asking and iv had 3 serious relationships and in the time between the last 2 a lot of flings with hotel staff as im always in them. I'm not worried really about if I did wrong as I really believe I wasn't too much in the wrong. Time will tell what happens next
 
Anyone read the Metro "it's complicated" advice column today? Is that guy on here by any chance? :p

It's at the bottom of this page. :D

Metro said:
I’m 31 and I’ve never been in a relationship. I’m even still a virgin. I’m humiliated to be me. I’m unemployed after working over 30 jobs and I live with my parents. I have no idea what to do. Any time I’ve ever come close to a relationship I tell myself: ‘No way would she want to be with me, I’m not good enough.’ I understand compromise is crucial to a relationship but there are certain things I’m not willing to give up such as my passion for video games that most women despise, especially at my age. How do I get out of this rut?
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At 20 years old you are still riding the school of life... Just need to get some control back.

'She goes on nights out and you don't care' - Hell you should be going out with her.. helps both of you bond and maybe after a drink or two any hidden feelings are brght up...

On a serious note, you are most likely better without. Take a short time out of relationships and enjoy life a bit to clear your head, get yourselve sorted, decide what you want in a partner and be a bit choosey in who you date.

I don't think you are a jealous person, maybe more paranoid than jealous.. Best advice go by what you see not what you think you see.
 
GrimsbyLAD said:
Im quite a jealous person but i keep it to myself
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Obviously don't know you from adam, but if you are like most people I'd say you are dead wrong - you aren't keeping your feelings to yourself, it's not a consicous thing but people pick up on it like a hammer in the face.

In fact it's probably better to mention it, make sometrhing of a joke about it and have a cuddle for being silly than just bury your jealous feelings and give off bad vibes.
 
You're 20 yrs old kid, seriously go out and bone as many girls as you can...why would you want a serious relationship at your age??.

Anyhow my advice is, stay single for a bit...get your head sorted out and in the meantime go out and have some fun...dont get tied down to one woman, play the field.
 
Angilion said:
You asked for advice, so here's mine:

Stay single for a while, get your head sorted. I think you might well be affected by your previous ex cheating on you and over-reacted to the grey area of your ex staying in contact with her ex. Maybe they parted amicably and are still friendly. It's a possibility.

But I'm making some assumptions based on the few lines of text you wrote, so I could be completely off target.
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This is solid advice. The last 3-4 years I've spent single have been eye-opening, where I've really grown up and have a much better understanding of what I want. Would recommend it to anybody, wholeheartedly.
 
What are you hoping to accomplish with this thread?

The only question I really deciphered was ''I don't get if i did anything wrong? Did i?''

And my answer is, how the HELL are we supposed to know? The fact you're even asking that is suggesting to me that you probably did.

''How to deal with this again?'' MTFU you wet blanket and just keep away from women, are you that insecure and needy that you permenently need a woman in your life to define you? Work on yourself.

Tbh I'm sure 90% of the people here couldnt give a damn about your relationship incompetence, it's just entertainment to people.

No go learn how to make a sammich for yourself.
 
Theophany said:
This is solid advice. The last 3-4 years I've spent single have been eye-opening, where I've really grown up and have a much better understanding of what I want. Would recommend it to anybody, wholeheartedly.
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Same here really, since getting out of the last long-term relationship, I've had time to figure out what I really want from life and I started to do the things I said I always wanted to do but never got around to doing. :)
 
1) The minuet someone in a relationship has to delete or hide something - THEIR LYING
2) It wasn't your fault

I've been where you are, thinking the world has ended.... However i'm now happily married with two girls! Life gets better either way!

EDIT:

Actually I was a lot like you. I know this sounds stupid, but by keeping myself in emotional check from the get go, i.e didn't really over do the whole "I love you, your my world" thing and made sure I didn't show her any of my jealousy, really really worked for me and ofc us!

I'd say for future reference just let things go over your head... HOWEVER if she's texting her ex and getting all defensive over stuff... BUH BYE. Just say, "hiding things is lying and cheating, this isn't going to work".
 
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What? you're only 20?

It's not your fault, she shouldn't be hiding thing from you. My gf, now my wife would tell me she's talking to her ex and I would do the samething. I only had one gf before her so there wasn't much hiding from her.

My personal advice, enjoy life and you're still way too young to be tie down in a serious relationship. I'm not telling you to go sleep every girls you get your hands on but go explore and see the world.
 
I already see enough of the world with my job and had fun when i wasn't in a relationship but iv been out of work for 3 months or so now due to lack of it so this happened.

I have my question answered mainly about if its my fault so thankyou i didn't think i was just being nuts or the paranoid jealous boyfriend tbh. Maybe slightly but not to the extent i was made out to be..

Just a quick update though.. I have had a message today asking if we can talk and that maybe she was abit harsh. Not sure what im going to do got a business trip tomorrow from 6am-11pm so won't be any rushed decisions here
 
From another forum:

Minimaul said:
Do yourself a favor and remove the person from your life that chose to remove you from theirs.

“Do not contact your ex” doesn't mean that YOU don't make effort to contact them but you respond when they get in touch with you. Cause, I mean, you technically didn't contact them, right? Wrong. It means NO CONTACT WITH YOUR EX...Just because you aren't contacting them that does not mean you're properly severing. It means do not even respond to them. Do not take the bait to any comments that raise your hackles, pique your interest, slander or cajole your feelings into responding...Every single contact will set you back to a point so far behind that it takes longer to catch up and move on than if you had just severed and ripped that damn band aid off.

It will be hard and sometimes they get offended. Seriously! How absurd is that? They get offended because you're severing from them when they ripped your heart of out of your ass. It seems so absurd that it's impossible, but I assure you my fellow GoonyGoons, it happens more than you think. The ex [that doesn’t bother with these rules], most often, is trying to assuage their own guilt when they remain in contact. It's entirely selfish of them. Now it's your turn to be selfish, stop talking to them and accept things and move on. Severing is acceptance and moving forward.
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Stick to the sever.
 
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