anyone struggling mentally this christmas?

The problem with Christmas, is that when you're on your own or if you suffer from Depression, you get the impression that everything is wonderful and jolly.

We are bombarded with TV adverts showing happy smiley people with lovely gifts etc. We get the impression that everyone has massive family get-togethers round a beautifully cooked Turkey.

In reality as we all know, things aren't quite that good.

Most people are stressed out to a certain extent. We have a somewhat unrealistic expectation of Christmas.

To the OP - have a think about what Christmas is really about? Is it about buying the glitzy flashy present or is it the act of giving something no matter how small? Is it about having a massive family get together or is it a case of ringing someone that you've not spoken to in a while and simply saying "Merry Christmas".

Like Von Smallhausen I come across lots of people who are depressed in the course of my job, one thing I realised a long long time ago, no matter how fed up or depressed you feel, there is always someone out there that is a far worse state. There are always lonely people, mostly old people, who need help. Have you considered volunteering with Help the Aged over the Christmas Period?

Best advice - go for a walk, wish the complete strangers around you Merry Christmas - smiling people are the best medicine.
 
You are not alone in this one, I always seem to hit my worst at this time of year.

The above suggestions are good ones, punching bag especially.
Anything to take your stress/frustrations out on other things and keep your mind off the 'festivities'.
 
Andy90 said:
The problem with Christmas, is that when you're on your own or if you suffer from Depression, you get the impression that everything is wonderful and jolly.

We are bombarded with TV adverts showing happy smiley people with lovely gifts etc. We get the impression that everyone has massive family get-togethers round a beautifully cooked Turkey.

In reality as we all know, things aren't quite that good.

Most people are stressed out to a certain extent. We have a somewhat unrealistic expectation of Christmas.

To the OP - have a think about what Christmas is really about? Is it about buying the glitzy flashy present or is it the act of giving something no matter how small? Is it about having a massive family get together or is it a case of ringing someone that you've not spoken to in a while and simply saying "Merry Christmas".

Like Von Smallhausen I come across lots of people who are depressed in the course of my job, one thing I realised a long long time ago, no matter how fed up or depressed you feel, there is always someone out there that is a far worse state. There are always lonely people, mostly old people, who need help. Have you considered volunteering with Help the Aged over the Christmas Period?

Best advice - go for a walk, wish the complete strangers around you Merry Christmas - smiling people are the best medicine.
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Good advice.

Giving gifts - it is not the cost that is important. Giving more than you can afford leads to debt and more depression.

People remember an act of kindness more than some object they probably did not want.

I volunteer with a charity to teach pensioners computer skills so they can keep in touch with family and it is a outing for some by itself. You get a buzz out of helping some people who are computer wary and they are really grateful. A win/win situation.
 
Breaking my soul seeing people here at the Trafford centre wasting away their well earned money of useless looking tat. Guess I haven't really been in the Christmas spirit after working 13 hours yesterday. BAH humbug. And have to agree with the people in this thread, it is the materialistic feeling that Christmas gives that has made me all gloomy.

Also doesn't help that once Christmas has gone, then we haven't got long left in 2013. Meh
 
I sometimes get depression and find that having lots of hobbies or projects on the go can keep it at bay. the worse thing you can do is just sit around doing nothing.

The thing which I can't seem to keep under control is my anxiety, which just seems to get worse and worse no matter what I try.

I can never understand why soaps etc always have depressing story lines at christmas. A lot of people suffer from depression and generally feel down at this time of year and they have to put depressing crap on TV to cheer everyone up :rolleyes:. I end up being forced to watch it as the whole family seem to be obsessed with it.
 
movingtables said:
not meaning to be depressing but not everyone has a good time over the festive
period. I have suffered from depression since 2001 and for some reason
christmas time makes it 100% worse.
I find being sick and crying helps :/

anyway sorry for the downer thread.
what do other people do to cope, read, go for a walk?

ps. no medical advice I dont want the thread closed lol
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last Christmas time was terrible for me, this one is a lot better. things have improved a fair bit through this year for me, very bad first half but much better second half.
 
Don't know if its been said but you might have S.A.D (Seasonal affective disorder) look into getting a Day light bulb they go for around £10 you don't need a fancy light just the bulb for a normal house fitting. Helps so much you wouldn't believe.
 
I always find the majority of people are down because of the weather as it gets colder and darker leading into Christmas (S.A.D.). I guess that Christmas unfortunately brings out things like depression even more so when people don't feel as if they have much going for them.

All I can recommend really is talking to someone about it possibly, finding new hobbies and trying to do what you enjoy no matter how small it is. Life is sometimes just about enjoying the simple things. I find I struggle mostly when I am on my own but have recently began to develop better feelings when in my own company and enjoy it quite often now.
 
Christmas is boring.

Spent an hour with my mother. A few hours with my father and ate there, then came home and watched movies at home till I fell asleep!

Just not hyped/excited about it at all. I'm 25, no idea if age related!

Boxing Day- going to go food shopping and watch movies all day. Sits well with me :D
 
I can relate to some of the points in here. I've been through my share of hellish xmas days, full of drunken arguments, abuse and broken homes. That was my childhood, though. My side of the family hasn't ever been good, it's pretty much fallen apart over the years so I always feel **** and depressed about it. I spend time my mother and grandmother because they don't really have much else these days. Whereas on the other hand my other halves family has everyone round, usually a big dinner with plenty of chatting and games. The contrast between the two homes is unreal.

For the past five years my GF and I have spent christmas dinner apart because I just feel too guilty to leave my family, it'll all be changing next year though as we've got a new home. Not sure how that'll go down.

You'll get through it dude, just keep yourself busy! I'm currently sat wishing the gym was open :(
 
Andy90 said:
The problem with Christmas, is that when you're on your own or if you suffer from Depression, you get the impression that everything is wonderful and jolly.

We are bombarded with TV adverts showing happy smiley people with lovely gifts etc. We get the impression that everyone has massive family get-togethers round a beautifully cooked Turkey.

In reality as we all know, things aren't quite that good.

Most people are stressed out to a certain extent. We have a somewhat unrealistic expectation of Christmas.

To the OP - have a think about what Christmas is really about? Is it about buying the glitzy flashy present or is it the act of giving something no matter how small? Is it about having a massive family get together or is it a case of ringing someone that you've not spoken to in a while and simply saying "Merry Christmas".



Like Von Smallhausen I come across lots of people who are depressed in the course of my job, one thing I realised a long long time ago, no matter how fed up or depressed you feel, there is always someone out there that is a far worse state. There are always lonely people, mostly old people, who need help. Have you considered volunteering with Help the Aged over the Christmas Period?

Best advice - go for a walk, wish the complete strangers around you Merry Christmas - smiling people are the best medicine.
Click to expand...

Excellent advice.
 
Andy90 said:
Best advice - go for a walk, wish the complete strangers around you Merry Christmas - smiling people are the best medicine.
Click to expand...

I was chatting to a random woman at a random set of traffic lights the other day and she said merry christmas upon leaving - it's amazing how good that little gesture of kindness makes you feel. Say it to someone else and you'll feel even better!

Good post.
 
Not a depression sufferer in the slightest, but as far as I am aware, people who are clinically depressed generally don't feel fazed by anything, they just feel nothing. There aren't large scale peaks and troughs just a general paralysing feeling of nothing that cannot be shifted. I recently spoke to a doctor dealing with a patient in hospital that was so depressed they couldn't even lift their arm to eat :eek:

I actually asked said doctor what they thought of depression and how can you distinguish it from misery. It seems if you are sad most of the time, but during your day there are times you will be drawn into anything, be it music, or a film, or just laughing with friends, generally removed from that feeling of sadness, then you are probably 'merely' miserable or lonely. Being miserable and lonely can be crippling too, of course, but it's temporary. The implication to me is that if Christmas makes you 'sad', it's more likely to be circumstantial and not necessarily medical because it wouldn't change how you feel. With that in mind, think about what you could be doing to counter it. That might include going to see a doctor, or just doing something new and meeting new people.

It could be worse. Imagine not being bothered to the point of not eating - that's truly broken. Pleased to say they have apparently been on antidepressants and after months have shown a complete turnaround and are having conversations and smiling :)
 
This isn't quite the subject of the thread but whatever. This is the first Christmas with our 1 year old and I haven't really enjoyed it much at all. Having to keep the nipper happy with all the family going on about do this do that and the crazy heat of the kitchen and the madness of serving dinner just made me want to go drive off somewhere for a while. I guess the fun times are over until they can fend for themselves.
 
phil675 said:
This isn't quite the subject of the thread but whatever. This is the first Christmas with our 1 year old and I haven't really enjoyed it much at all. Having to keep the nipper happy with all the family going on about do this do that and the crazy heat of the kitchen and the madness of serving dinner just made me want to go drive off somewhere for a while. I guess the fun times are over until they can fend for themselves.
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Been there with my 3 boys (all grown up now). It will get better as the nipper gets older mate hang in there.
 
phil675 said:
This isn't quite the subject of the thread but whatever. This is the first Christmas with our 1 year old and I haven't really enjoyed it much at all. Having to keep the nipper happy with all the family going on about do this do that and the crazy heat of the kitchen and the madness of serving dinner just made me want to go drive off somewhere for a while. I guess the fun times are over until they can fend for themselves.
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I thought having kids would bring the 'magic' of christmas back. I suppose it's a bit different when they're too young to enjoy and require 100% of your attention.
 
shifty_uk said:
I thought having kids would bring the 'magic' of christmas back. I suppose it's a bit different when they're too young to enjoy and require 100% of your attention.
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Was thinking that myself. When they are a bit older you can play with their toys as well :p. I know my dad used to enjoy building the lego and meccano sets he bought for me. My Mum and Dad stayed up till the early hours once building a lego castle they bought me.

I guess Christmas is what you make of it and can be fun under the right circumstances. If the family are making it so stressful it might be better to have Christmas to yourselves and then have a bigger family do separately.
 
This was a different Christmas for all my family and me, on the 23rd My Grandmother was taken to hospital, she looked quite poorly, went to visit her with my parents late afternoon on eve, she didn't look the best, we stayed for a couple of hours and made our way home. About half hour after we arrived home, the whole family was called by the Hospital she was in, asked us all to come in...She took a turn for the worse was their words, I didn't go up, I was asked to stay back at the house.

about 6.30am on Christmas day my parents came home, chucked the Turkey in the Oven and went to bed, about an hour or so later get a call from my Uncle....She passed away at 7.45am on Christmas Day.

I was asleep when this was going on, my Mum came into my room, teary eyed, I knew what had happened, she said Nan has just passed, would you look after the Turkey while we go back up the Hospital, I nodded...in shock.

They came home, about 10am, and Mum (at this point I should mention, My Nan is my Mum's mother) came in, I hugged her and she just broke down in my arms in tears, I starred at my Dad, slightly glossy eyed.

After that we opened our presents, both me and my Dad went all out this year with presents for her today, and after what happened this week, she was very overwhelmed by it, got a little teary eyed again.

Then the rest of the Family came up for Dinner, Brothers, sisters, nephews, niece, we kept the whole thing secret from the nephews/niece (I'm the Uncle, hence the Username) as we didn't want to spoil there christmas.

I popped out for about an hour, and came back to see everyone was gone, and both my mum and dad asleep on the sofa (they've had a long day with no sleep basically), so I went upstairs and do what I normally do play on my PC and what not.

About 2 hours later I went downstairs to get a drink, they were both awake...quiet, I went to the kitchen, came back out to see my Mother brake down in tears again in my fathers arms, for about 5 mins then they went to bed.

Normally i'm a strong person emotionally-wise, but as soon as I had the room to myself...I broke down in tears, Knowing i'll never see my Nan again, I loved and respected her, she was a massive part of my life, and now she's gone.

As I write this i've started to tear up slightly, Its gonna be a while for all of us to recover from this, She's missed dearly, but she'll never ever be forgotten.

..Anyway, sorry for the massive story i've written up, I felt it was best expressing it as i've kept it up all built in, until now.

Thanks.
 
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