The OcUK Relationship Counselling and Hugs Thread

FatFishMonster said:
Sorry to hear buddy!
Be careful about going back for "booty call", or scratching the old itch. It can lead to a lot of complications, and can end up hurting, and if you still have feelings, it opens you up to a lot of hurt (been there done that, got the tshirt)

Don't be afraid to be sad or hurt, but just be positive, do things you enjoy, join the gym, stuff like that. Just become happy by yourself.

I'm only just approaching 1 year single from my 4 year relationship, still find it hard even though I should be fine by now!
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I think that's definitely right on paper, and I've always agreed with it... It's a bit of an odd one right now though, this situation is unlike any I've ever been in...

We both agree that we still want to be close, and are absolutely fine with each other. Over the past few days we've spent a lot of time together, discussed being apart in a very level-headed way. We've had dinner, been out together with friends most evenings and some dinners, generally... Well, done some couply stuff, but are defined as 'not together'.

Tbh, it feels good, and not because I'm clinging onto the relationship. I can't be bothered with going out to find someone else right now, but I also think I'm happy being apart (not having the commitment and responsibility of a relationship). There's still someone I can talk to, hug, be a great friend.

This doesn't sound healthy at all written down, but it all feels very right and positive. The only thing we're not sure about is the sex. Hmm.
 
What is sounds like is that you know it's the right decision (pro-tip: calling your partner a nuisance/inconvenience does not indicate a healthy relationship) but are working out what the next bit looks like. This is perfectly normal and is your brain going through it's "should I settle for..?" period rather than it's "I deserve much better!" period.

Keep the positive outlook from your posts and ditch the negative ones.

Everything was radical and nothing sucked :)
 
[FnG]magnolia;25566663 said:
What is sounds like is that you know it's the right decision (pro-tip: calling your partner a nuisance/inconvenience does not indicate a healthy relationship)
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I completely agree, and I know I'm being a bit blunt about it, to help rationalise it.

[FnG]magnolia;25566663 said:
Everything was radical and nothing sucked :)
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Apply this to everything in life :) Thanks man.
 
Pff, well today I lost all faith in meeting someone.

new girl in the admin office, I see here once or twice a day as I drop reports and see my engineer for advice. We often have 5-10 minute chats as I'm signing in / signing out.
I thought we were getting along fine so asked her if she wanted to go for drinks and her reply has left me reeling.
"I'm not sure I'm desperate enough to date a ginger, it's like scrapping the bottom of the barrel".
To which the other girls in the office my age agreed.
So apparently any positive attributes I may have are completely and utterly negated because I don't have the standard hair colour variation.

So with that startling revelation I start a new year:(
 
Abraxaz1 said:
Pff, well today I lost all faith in meeting someone.

new girl in the admin office, I see here once or twice a day as I drop reports and see my engineer for advice. We often have 5-10 minute chats as I'm signing in / signing out.
I thought we were getting along fine so asked her if she wanted to go for drinks and her reply has left me reeling.
"I'm not sure I'm desperate enough to date a ginger, it's like scrapping the bottom of the barrel".
To which the other girls in the office my age agreed.
So apparently any positive attributes I may have are completely and utterly negated because I don't have the standard hair colour variation.

So with that startling revelation I start a new year:(
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I would have asked the jumped up bint "who said anything about dating, I just wanted a leg over" or something along those lines :)
 
Abraxaz1 said:
I think its the first women to be truthful with me.

Pff atleast I know the reason why women reject me so much now
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That's not being truthful, that's called being ignorant. Next time you see her, congratulate her on her pregnancy. "But I'm not pregnant??....", "Ohh sorry! Just a bit of weight gain then?" :rolleyes:
 
MisChief said:
Next time you see her, congratulate her on her pregnancy. "But I'm not pregnant??....", "Ohh sorry! Just a bit of weight gain then?" :rolleyes:
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roll with this. 100% win guaranteed.

on a serious note, that is harsh and ignorant, its not truthful.
its truthful in the sense that shes being honest, not in the sense of what she said, what shes said is ignorant and harsh.

oh well! screw her, plenty more women out there who aren't that harsh and shallow! :)
 
That's a ridiculous thing to say and means she's an outright wizard's sleeve, doesn't sound like you're missing out on much with this one to be honest.

You have to flip it around and not see it as a negative reflection on you, more so a negative reflection on her, she's a shallow ****. No loss :) Give her some stick back when you get a chance, but don't quite be as blunt as she was.
 
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Abraxaz1 said:
Pff, well today I lost all faith in meeting someone.

new girl in the admin office, I see here once or twice a day as I drop reports and see my engineer for advice. We often have 5-10 minute chats as I'm signing in / signing out.
I thought we were getting along fine so asked her if she wanted to go for drinks and her reply has left me reeling.
"I'm not sure I'm desperate enough to date a ginger, it's like scrapping the bottom of the barrel".
To which the other girls in the office my age agreed.
So apparently any positive attributes I may have are completely and utterly negated because I don't have the standard hair colour variation.

So with that startling revelation I start a new year:(
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How did you not give her abuse?

I'd of called her a **** and walked off!
 

meandsarah.jpg


Yep. Punching well above my weight. Only had to wait 4 years for it. :)
 
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4 Years has indeed paid off! Hope u happy together. Interesting enough from my own thread iv not felt one second of feeling down after my ex cheated on me yesterday. Its almost like i wasn't too attached so i guess thats winning.

@Abra.. I would have comeback with something witty "Oh this wasn't a date i was going to see how much the common **** charges for a ****-job" :) Be happy ur not trying to get near that she sounds like a bad person
 
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