Engagement Ring, Wedding & Saving House Deposit?

I've been to over 200 weddings, some very lavish, and I can confirm that 400k is stupid. Not only because it's pointless, but also because there's a definite positive trend between budget and atmosphere/personality/integrity.

The best wedding I've ever been to out of those 200 probably cost around £7,000, most of that going on a pretty big tepee. All the guests camped and it had a great atmosphere.
 
zegna said:
Asian family dude.. the girl pays!
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Or not, because you are paying £50k.

And then only putting £50k down on your house (Ordinaryly £50k is a healthy deposit of course but if you can make it more you are daft not to!). Madness.

2 years later the ceremony is a memory but your mortgage, which would be less with more equity in the property, very much wont be.
 
[TW]Fox;25596427 said:
2 years later the ceremony is a memory but your mortgage, which would be less with more equity in the property, very much wont be.
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Especially considering it is going to be a house in London. That is one large mortgage.
 
Freefaller said:
I *hate* this so called "rule". It's absolute tosh.

Buy what you want, or what you feel is worthwhile. Spending nearly 5 figures on a ring is just daft.

You can actually create a far more personal ring for a fraction of the cost. If she's only interested in how much it's worth she may not be worth it.
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Same here, me and the missus for 3 platinum rings cost us £2k in Hatton Gardens a few yrs ago. She had 2 rings done, one diamond engagement ring and a wedding band and then there was my wedding band with 3 diamonds all in platinum.

But as you said, spend what you can afford to on rings.
 
I proposed to my wife with a ring from a pack of haribo. That was mainly because I wouldn't buy the ring without her checking first as I've never bought her Jewellery before.

You can make a wedding and honeymoon as expensive or cheap as you want. Depending on your situation:

- Wedding can be huge or small. If you want a Church wedding you could simply hire the village hall after for tea/coffee and cake with your friends and loved ones. You don't HAVE to do a huge sit-down meal with speeches.

- Dress can be something special from a department store if you want. I got myself a Ted Baker suit so that I could then use it for work after. I wasn't going to splash £4-5-600 on a suit just for my wedding day.

- Honeymoon can be anywhere you want, maybe a hotel you've both stayed in before and really enjoyed your time there? It could be a simple weekend away.

The list obviously goes on. Some people in here and elsewhere spend crazy money on weddings. I know someone who had 100 people to a sit-down meal and did £75 a head food. I just would never, ever, do that.

I think our Church was about £600 all in, and the reception and food was £2000 all in for sit down for about 80, and then evening snacks for about £150.

Some of the best Weddings I've been too were cheaper options. One of the best was a friends where, family only did the service at the registrars office, and then everyone went to his parents house after with a marquee in the back garden and a hog roast. It was fantastic, and a great day.
 
omnomnom said:
Weddings don't have to be expensive. Mine cost around 5k for 60 guests and 80 night guests. The included suit hire,dress, rings and all that garbage, you just have to pick the right time.....mine was on the 16th December 2012 for eg...winter, cost me half the amount.
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+1

ours was cheaper as it was the 15th December 2013 ;)
 
My advice is get engaged but don't get married until after you've bought the house.

As for the £400k wedding.... LOL :)
 
BrightonBelle said:
How old are you both? What is the most important thing to her?

Personally I would - get engaged, get married then save for the house and kids.

Engagement ring doesn't have to be crazy and I am sure that she would compromise on cost (not that she would know?!) knowing that the other things are in the pipeline.

Depends on what you want for your wedding as to how much budget you blow... you can do things on the cheap easily or have the big day. Either way. Engagement and wedding are 'end' costs. Once they are done the costs stop.

House and kids are not. Hence why we are getting married first (plus the fact our families are traditional).

Having said that, there are friends of ours who are engaged and have the house and are trying for kids - based on the fact that they are getting on...

Horses for courses... I guess you have to do what you think is right.

BB x
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utter madness

the house is - relatively - essential for you both. The marriage is not. You can have kids outside marriage - what does it matter?

the advice quoted by BB is insultingly bad.
 
zegna said:
Asian family dude.. the girl pays!

So we (I) contribute 50K, and then my wife's fam should be able to afford 300-400k for the rest. So my big day will cost around £0.5m!

Stupid, yes. But as I said my family are not like normal families!
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Call Hello magazine - they'll be able to give you great guidance on how to spend half a million pounds on a wedding.

What an utter waste of money.
 
robot, play nice. If I could understand who that post was directed at you'd of had a holiday by now so you're lucky...
 
Dead easy, why marry just now? Seriously? To make her happy, you happy? £4k later will you or her be any more happy to have gone through 4k?
Get on with your life get the pad, get set up, when you both have what you need to be together, then get happy.
 
priority number one if you want a house should be clearing your debts, you will be paying more on any loan/credit card etc then any saving account will have, you will then have more money to save each month.

i paid less than £100 for my wifes engagement ring in the january sales and she was happy with it, unfortunatly due to this the stone fell out so its a balancing act of quality vs cost... my wedding ring cost about £25 from argos and im always getting complimented on it (it is tungsten so is still immaculate after nearly 5 years of marriage) it will never have any value but it will always be sentimental.

dont rush into marriage if you have other prioritys, we were lucky as my dad and her mum split the bill but it still cost less than 4k for the whole thing.

im 28 i have 2 kids (6 & 1) and have been married for nearly 5 years and i wouldnt change anything about it but its a lot harder to save up for a house deposit when you have 2 kids to support too
 
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