threads like this make me laugh. Surely a car is one of the few things in this world that you can operate and know absolutely nothing about how it works. (talking machinery that can kill you)
Being a mechanic i've heard just about every possible description of problems and to be honest most of them I just ignore. Want to find out whats wrong, take it to a garage, get them to drive it round the block, 99% of the time that'll be enough to figure out whats wrong.