Guys, what do I say?

robfosters said:
I'm actually fine. I think I had already accepted it tbh.

One thing that has surprised me though is that his sons, who idolised him, and both gone off to work a mere 6 hours after their father has passed.

I don't know if I could do that.
Click to expand...

I lost my dad last year to esophageal cancer. It was extremely tough leading up to his death as I'm 4,000 miles away from him. I managed to get over and see him about a week before he passed, and he got to meet my little boy - which he was really holding on for.

It was such a relief when he finally died. He was in agony and had absolutely no dignity left. It's absolutely shocking to me that he was forced to go through that (but that's a whole other thread I guess) so to know he wasn't suffering anymore was a HUGE weight of our minds. After the funeral we were all laughing, joking, and remembering him as the awesome guy we knew before the cancer. He wouldn't have wanted it any other way.

Sorry about your friend.
 
Curio said:
I lost my dad last year to esophageal cancer. It was extremely tough leading up to his death as I'm 4,000 miles away from him. I managed to get over and see him about a week before he passed, and he got to meet my little boy - which he was really holding on for.

It was such a relief when he finally died. He was in agony and had absolutely no dignity left. It's absolutely shocking to me that he was forced to go through that (but that's a whole other thread I guess) so to know he wasn't suffering anymore was a HUGE weight of our minds. After the funeral we were all laughing, joking, and remembering him as the awesome guy we knew before the cancer. He wouldn't have wanted it any other way.

Sorry about your friend.
Click to expand...

It was the pneumonia that actually killed him. Docs said it was probably better that way as although it happened sooner, dying of the actual cancer would have meant dying in a lot of pain, whereas with the pneumonia, he was comfortable then just turned over and went to sleep.

Curio, if it's not too personal, can I ask, was your dad ever a heavy drinker?
 
robfosters said:
Curio, if it's not too personal, can I ask, was your dad ever a heavy drinker?
Click to expand...

He was actually a teetotaler his whole life! He also never smoked and was incredibly fit and active. However, he suffered from acid reflux from a very early age and didn't really get properly medicated for it until he was much older. This resulted in something called Barrett's Esophagus, which in turn often leads to esophageal cancer.
 
I disagree with saying 'getting on with it' is the best approach. I lost 5 close family members in a short span of time (Mother, Sister, Nephew, Grandmother, Cousin) and I just 'got on with it'. What this actually meant was never confronting my grief and it unconsciously eating me up. It took me years to finally face up to things.

I think it's a natural thing for men to want to avoid 'emotions'. And even with hindsight, I'd probably still make the same mistake. But I don't think it was the 'best' way of handling it.

On the plus side, I got good use out of my suit over those two years.
 
Last edited:
You must log in or register to reply here.
Back
Top Bottom