How judgemental are you to parents?

[Skidder]

Yes and I don't really find it hard work at all, most of it is fun and relaxing.

I presume you work? How old are they?

Some kids are just easy good company (these are the same kids who take crack when they turn 16......joke!)

I also find my time with my kids to be largely fun and relaxing because it is the fun time (with occasional bouts of frustration as outlined, they are almost 4 and 5) but for my wife I think it is tough. In some respects I think it is easier for people who have to work and use nurseries etc.

 

[Maccapacca]

Yes being judgemental on face value is immature and shallow.

 

[RDM]

I presume you work? How old are they?

My daughter is 8 and for the last four years I have been studying with the current year being a PGCE (that is hard work). Thankfully that has given me plenty of time off with my daughter during the holidays so I get to be a full time parent and a working parent.

Some kids are just easy good company (these are the same kids who take crack when they turn 16......joke!)

I'll let you know when she turns 16 but how much of a kid being good company is the kids nature and how much of it is nurture?

I also find my time with my kids to be largely fun and relaxing because it is the fun time (with occasional bouts of frustration as outlined, they are almost 4 and 5) but for my wife I think it is tough. In some respects I think it is easier for people who have to work and use nurseries etc.

I really don't see it that way, I don't see parenting as hard work, more as a bit of common sense and some good organisation.

 

[Brutal biff]

I bet some of you would be very quick to judge me or my missus if you saw us out with our kids where 1 of them is autistic where he could throw a screaming tantrum any second people are always to quick to judge and just like to stare whenever he throws a tantrum sometimes it feels like society wants us locked away due to his disability

 

[Castiel]

We don't find it particularly hard either...both working full time and always have, never used nurseries either (nowhere near the childcare provision when my 15 year old was young enough to take advantage of it, what there was was expensive and limited and there was no government help like there is today)...we got by just with mixture of extended family, shift work and flexitime. My wife is an organisational master though...

Sometimes it was awkward, but never hard.

 

[Burnsy2023]

I bet some of you would be very quick to judge me or my missus if you saw us out with our kids where 1 of them is autistic where he could throw a screaming tantrum any second people are always to quick to judge and just like to stare whenever he throws a tantrum sometimes it feels like society wants us locked away due to his disability

It's all about how you deal with it. I don't think screaming in your kids face telling them to ****ing shut up is going to help anyone. Of course kids will play up, often publicly but if you keep your cool then that's the way you can move forward.

 

[deuse]

snip

Never judge a parent till the child becomes 16. After that it's up to them what life they lead. And no you don't know.

 

[dottty27]

I see bad parenting daily with work we have children that come in in dirty jumpers and bottoms with shoes to small for them
We have had parents steal the nursery's cloths and just let there children rip up books and smash a window in our reception area

Some people are just lazy bad parents who don't care about there kids or what they get up to

 

[daz.rathbone]

It's all about how you deal with it. I don't think screaming in your kids face telling them to ******* shut up is going to help anyone. Of course kids will play up, often publicly but if you keep your cool then that's the way you can move forward.

As a Don you should know to fully star out swearies

We have 5 kids, eldest 18, youngest 2 are now 7 and 8. "Hard work" totally depends on your definition - it's often challenging, no two kids are the same, and phases they go through can change like the wind.

My wife was a full-time mu until the last year or so, as she's now starting some part time work around school hours - I would agree with the comments about a full time parent/carer being hard work. Even when I have really stressful times at work, at least I have an escape where I need to alter my focus - I can get home and (sometimes) relax, whereas my wife is running after them till they're all in bed, then starts sorting everything for the next day, ready to rinse and repeat.

But some of the parents I see, and I use the term parents very loosely, are shocking. The old agage of needing a license to own a dog, but anyone can have kids... stands true.

Care system should do more, but I don't think a proper care system is actually possible. When the parents don't care any more (if they ever did), what hope for the kids? Some do make it through and live their lives outside of their parents shadow, but it takes a lot of strength and support - and it needs someone to notice there's a good kid in there somewhere, trying to make their way out.

 

[Judgeneo]

I bet some of you would be very quick to judge me or my missus if you saw us out with our kids where 1 of them is autistic where he could throw a screaming tantrum any second people are always to quick to judge and just like to stare whenever he throws a tantrum sometimes it feels like society wants us locked away due to his disability

My brother is autistic, and I know it was (still is to a lesser extent) very hard work for my parents. Keep at it.

 

[Glaucus]

Having a care system that works, I think is possible. But it cost and we as the uk public reject any tax rises. Although to be fair we waste tax rather than use it efficiently. If it was used efficiently and wisely I wouldn't mind paying more tax.

As to judgmental a fair bit, but only on the kids which you know have no hope of a decent life thanks to scumbag parents. Like the kids the other day who where shoplifting under their mums instructions. As they can't be prosecuted.

 

[Jingo...]

I'm not judgmental to parents, however they all seem very judgmental of me!

How many times must I hear "Speaking as a parent..." or "you won't understand until you have children" ...

I'm silly enough to forget that until I reproduce, my opinion on most elements of life are invalid

 

[bloodiedathame]

As a father I'd actually be in support for some sort of license or at least training before you have kids. Helping the kids by helping the parents. I'd imagine something similar to ante-natal classes. Parenting is such a broad subject though and nothing can really prepare you but at least it would in some way try to instill a sort of 'best practice' and control.

 

[BunnyKillBot]

This one time, I was in the upstairs part of a coffee shop with my wife, when up rushed the stairs three youngish kids followed by the mother. 'Oh here we go', i thought, steadying my childless solemnity to be shattered by screams, shouts and general misbehaviour. They sat at a table not too far away, and, I kid you not, started talking about philosophy while drinking their coffee. I very nearly, for the first time ever, went up to complement the mothers remarkable parenting skills, but of course being british I did nothing of the sort and we left soon after.

Moral of the story

Some parents are bad. Some kids are little *****. Judge not less yee be judged

 

[arc@css]

Equally as I am to the state.

 

[bloodiedathame]

This one time, I was in the upstairs part of a coffee shop with my wife, when up rushed the stairs three youngish kids followed by the mother. 'Oh here we go', i thought, steadying my childless solemnity to be shattered by screams, shouts and general misbehaviour. They sat at a table not too far away, and, I kid you not, started talking about philosophy while drinking their coffee. I very nearly, for the first time ever, went up to complement the mothers remarkable parenting skills, but of course being british I did nothing of the sort and we left soon after.

Moral of the story

Some parents are bad. Some kids are little *****. Judge not less yee be judged

Kids drinking coffee? That's an insane parent.

 

[sports_brah]

Sounds like the role of a police officer to me........always judging on what they see, incapable of actually considering the full story. Some people genuinely don't have that much to give, and have, as a result of their own poor parents, not got the best start. Some parents feel its nicer to give them unhealthy food. Some like to place importance on other things to what you consider valuable.

I know, lets bring the state into more things in life! This will DEFINITELY solve things.

Yes there should be a better class of education, and more opportunity, but simply taking people away from their biological families as your first and only suggestion goes to show your true authoritarian nature that comes across in lots of your posts.

 

[Burnsy2023]

Some people genuinely don't have that much to give, and have, as a result of their own poor parents, not got the best start.

I agree it's not necessarily their fault, but surely it needs to stop somewhere? Should people be becoming parents when they don't have that much to give and when what they do have simply isn't enough?

Some parents feel its nicer to give them unhealthy food.

Regardless of their intention, when parents don't feed their children the right stuff so they become malnourished, surely that's a problem?

Some like to place importance on other things to what you consider valuable.

I don't doubt that, but I think the basics like getting your children properly fed, clothed, in an environment which isn't detrimental to their health and out of crime is pretty fundamental.

Yes there should be a better class of education, and more opportunity, but simply taking people away from their biological families as your first and only suggestion goes to show your true authoritarian nature that comes across in lots of your posts.

Lets get this right, this is your perceived view of my authoritarian nature. I'm actually quite liberal on most issues. I also want to make the point that if parents can get the basics right, I don't have an issue, it's when they can't or won't. Education has a big role as does providing opportunities - and the parents that take these opportunities should be applauded. I think programmes like SureStart have done some immense good at breaking the cycle of bad parenting, but unfortunately it doesn't work with everyone.

 

[bartledvd]

I bet some of you would be very quick to judge me or my missus if you saw us out with our kids where 1 of them is autistic where he could throw a screaming tantrum any second people are always to quick to judge and just like to stare whenever he throws a tantrum sometimes it feels like society wants us locked away due to his disability

I feel your pain i have 3 autistic boys and often look like a right idiot sat on floor in middle of street talking things through going over our plans on tablet. although it always makes me smile watching Alfie shout at the wind or rain

 

[Storm3y]

Very judgemental. No need for your kids to be playing up in public. Was in the pub yesterday trying to enjoy a meal and a few beers and all I could hear was a kid screaming because he couldn't have an ice cream and wanted to go home and his mother just kept winding him up as well. I don't agree with kids being in a pub anyway.

What I absolutely hate is children having children or the type of people who don't give a monkeys and can't afford to pay and look after their kids.