Slapping Your Children

balky12 · 2 Jun 2014 at 16:14

Robinhood said:
If you are smacking a child to discipline them you must be doing something wrong

You were a well behaved kid with good boundries, and you're mum knew how to handle situations.

To conclude that if one resorts to smacking a child they are doing something wrong / bad parents though is a quantum leap. I have witnessed kids acting out in public, and despite their parents best efforts of telling them no, etc. and after minutes of trying to calm the situation, and quick smack solves the problem.

I was smacked as a child a few times. Looking back on it I was a brat, and I know it was a last resort for my parents. Hell sometimes I recon I deliberately pushed my parents to do it, knowing full well that they don't like doing it.

Jay794 · 2 Jun 2014 at 16:16

Should we start the "Violent games breeds serial killers" conversation next? There is no link between smacking your kids and them becoming bad or evil people. I think the issue is, too many parents don't know the difference between physical abuse and a good telling off

Pestilence · 2 Jun 2014 at 16:19

I used to have the arse/upper legs whacked into oblivion when I was misbehaving as a kid. Held by the arm or collar or whatever so you couldn't get away and WHACK WHACK WHACK! Never crippled me, mind.

Nowadays, I think a People's Elbow is the only way to get through to the nippers.

Efour · 2 Jun 2014 at 16:21

Theophany said:
<insert standard 'never did me no harm' response>

I used to get a smack if I misbehaved. No idea if I'd do it to my kids if I ever have any.

This

short sharp shock choke chain never did me any harm

MikeTheNative · 2 Jun 2014 at 16:21

Jay794 said:
Should we start the "Violent games breeds serial killers" conversation next? There is no link between smacking your kids and them becoming bad or evil people. I think the issue is, too many parents don't know the difference between physical abuse and a good telling off

Nobody is saying that it makes them murders, just whether it is morally wrong to physically discipline your child.

balky12 · 2 Jun 2014 at 16:23

Jay794 said:
Should we start the "Violent games breeds serial killers" conversation next? There is no link between smacking your kids and them becoming bad or evil people. I think the issue is, too many parents don't know the difference between physical abuse and a good telling off

+1

It's all the do gooders out in force. Wanting to make everything black and white.

'Smacking a child is child abuse, you are a bad parent if you hit your child'

The same brigade that brings you ADHD.

'The child has a condition it's not his fault he can't be controlled and is unruly.'

Probably because he has never been disciplined when being a brat.

ttaskmaster · 2 Jun 2014 at 16:26

Tom0 said:
Praise for good, ignore the bad, consistently.
It's how all animals respond.

It's really not.
If that were the case, why do animals still 'nip' their young'uns when they misbehave?
I see all manner of dog owners coming to our dog obedience classes, who adopted the 'ignore the bad' approach... their dogs all fail the basic KC Bronze award. Those dogs who've had a whack on the nose when they really overstep the line quickly realise who the boss is and start working to please that person rather than **** them off!

I see the *exact* same behaviour in as many kids. They know their bad behaviour will get ignored, so they happily misbehave and get away with it. There is no punishment, no bad consequences, so they just carry on into adulthood.

What always taught us to behave as kids was not the possibility of getting a smacking, but knowing the certainty of it.
If you put your hand in fire, you WILL get burned. So too if you do [insert naughty activity] your mum/dad/teacher/local bobby/pastor/neighbour/whoever WILL smack you upside the head...

dan958 · 2 Jun 2014 at 16:27

balky12 said:
The same brigade that brings you ADHD.

'The child has a condition it's not his fault he can't be controlled and is unruly.'

Probably because he has never been disciplined when being a brat.

I mentioned something like that on Facebook way in the past and had my chav acquaintances reply in a not so happy way.

Maximum Triceratops · 2 Jun 2014 at 16:29

I don't smack my kids and never will as I am intelligent enough to know its the most retarded way to punish a child.

Heliospherez · 2 Jun 2014 at 16:30

Anyone who says you don't need to smack children - or you can talk to a child to make them understand is either,

1.) Not a parent.
2.) Not anywhere near children in general / or their kids on a regular basis.
3.) Deranged/delusional.

I have 2 sons - a 3 year old and 9 year old. And If like me - you have a 3 year old who used to climb up on his window ledge 2-3 times a day - opening his top bedroom window (at one point throwing his Vtech tablet out and denting my Honda & breaking the tablet) - then I bet you any money you will resort to a lot more than calm reasoning and a naughty step. Especially as it was about two weeks after he took a stone from the front garden and decided to scratch a lovely picture all over his Mummys VW polo.

Mr_Orange · 2 Jun 2014 at 16:30

MikeTheNative said:
If it's okay to give a child a bit of a smack if they are naughty, can I do the same to my girlfriend?

I see girls/women do it to their boyfriends all the time and no one bats an eyelid.

Jay794 · 2 Jun 2014 at 16:33

During a discussion between friends recently, we decided that all the water in the world should be laced with a drug that prevents pregnancy, then you have to pass a parenting competency test in order to be provided with a vaccine that makes you immune the water drug in the water. Would solve all sorts of problems

balky12 · 2 Jun 2014 at 16:33

dan958 said:
I mentioned something like that on Facebook way in the past and had my chav acquaintances reply in a not so happy way.

Doesn't surprise me. I will probably get someone from here disgree. We currently have a society where everyone has to be labelled.

*NOTHING TO SEE HERE*

Jay794 · 2 Jun 2014 at 16:36

Let's not get into the prison conversation...

balky12 · 2 Jun 2014 at 16:37

quick. edit it sir!

Robinhood · 2 Jun 2014 at 16:40

balky12 said:
You were a well behaved kid with good boundries, and you're mum knew how to handle situations.

To conclude that if one resorts to smacking a child they are doing something wrong / bad parents though is a quantum leap. I have witnessed kids acting out in public, and despite their parents best efforts of telling them no, etc. and after minutes of trying to calm the situation, and quick smack solves the problem.

I was smacked as a child a few times. Looking back on it I was a brat, and I know it was a last resort for my parents. Hell sometimes I recon I deliberately pushed my parents to do it, knowing full well that they don't like doing it.

There are always other ways at disciplining a child,I see smacking as an easy/lazy way out of parenting.Does smacking work?Sure but that does mean you should use it to enforce discipline in a child?I do feel the choice should be up to the parent tho.

Gogl · 2 Jun 2014 at 16:42

elmarko said:
That's not really the point is it, in later life physical punitive measures are illegal & will land you in trouble with the law.

I just wanted to confirm your viewpoint, you are saying that disciplining a child only teaches them to employ punitive actions to get their own way later in life, or is it only physical disciplining that a young mind learns to employ?

The relationships connecting the use of physical punishment & later life violence are already well established.

Indeed it is, but I would find it difficult to believe the circumstance in which any punishment was administered and to what degree wasn't a contributory factor.

stopper · 2 Jun 2014 at 16:48

deuse said:
Tap is another word for hit to make the parent feel better. But this has been done here many times.

Actually, there is a clear difference between a tap, slap, hit and parental smack.
Claiming they are all the same usually comes from non parents who haven't actually got a clue about raising kids.

balky12 · 2 Jun 2014 at 16:49

Robinhood said:
There are always other ways at disciplining a child,I see smacking as an easy/lazy way out of parenting.Does smacking work?Sure but that does mean you should use it to enforce discipline in a child?I do feel the choice should be up to the parent tho.

I agree, 'soley smacking to deter and discpline a child' is easy and lazy and will ultimately lead to bad parenting.

However, using it as a last resort once all other options have been exhausted to no effect should not be viewed this way.

After all, it's safe to say 99% of parents do not actually want to smack their child. I'm not a parent but I dream of having kids that will listen and behave when simply spoken to softly. However I am more off a realist and I accept that there might be times where I have to raise my voice / smack my child to reinforce boundires. If so, then that is exactly what I will do.

Castiel · 2 Jun 2014 at 16:55

Never had the need to use physical punishment on my child, there were always better alternatives when disciple was (or is) necessary. Growing up in a violent and abusive environment as I did, I find physical punishment of any type in the home pretty abhorrent, I'm not judging anyone who feels otherwise though, I think the context and circumstances are important and I think it is too easy to judge someone as a bad or good parent without actually knowing enough about them.