Life just took a divebomb - 8 Years down the pan.

[porushinobu]

I'm on Barnhall off Heath Road. Only got bicycle though LOL.

Contrary to most other comments, I'm inclined to give her the benefit of the doubt. Why? Well we don't condemn even known criminals without a fair trial, that's why we have a 'civilized' law system - emotions from the participants always cloud the issue and innocents get caught in the crossfire. The other fella (if indeed he is the other fella) could be the victim of the proverbial witchhunt - the mark of a backward society. There are enough chavs in Colchester, I live amongst them, don't start to become one

Sometimes the 'truth' (no such thing of course, since there is no objective arbiter) will emerge over time; best to leave it to cool and be rational (Spock rather than Kirk LOL)...

totally agree on this one, from what you said she seems at least partially truthful although I am more inclined to believe she is being honest. She met with you , stayed calm and talked it through I had a relationship or 2 end with a civilised conversation and we stayed as friends after.

Good luck to you man. My offer to talk online is still open, and it doesn't necessarily have to be about this either, we can just have a laugh

 

[FortuitousFluke]

Is it weird that the overriding feeling of tediousness that overcomes me when someone uses the word "alpha" to describe their lifestyle or outlook, is the same feeling I get when people talk about the magical healing qualities of crystals, or how God saved them?

I feel for you OP, always a rough time. In your position I'd cut and run, I find it easier and I wouldn't tend to trust someone who had just jumped ship, especially when they tell me they never touched the other guy. Your choice though.

 

[RoboCod]

Hah! Riled? On the contrary, I'm laughing and have been since I read your posts.

You are a funny guy, and your opinions amuse me

Good. What's more amusing is how you took my post so seriously that you seem to think I really believe you cannot be manly unless you fulfill the criteria I listed. It's disappointing you attacked me about that misconception yet the whole point of my post was in response to someone who really did incorrectly infer that just because someone posts on a computer forum means they cannot be manly.

I think the main point of all this is, to be manly/alpha/a real man simply means to be brave and do the right thing. Being brave is a broad quality that can apply to any situation. However, being brave does not mean letting your ex GF take you for a mug then coming to the Internet and effectively excusing her actions. I mean seriously, grow a pair, for the love of all things manly!

 

[Pleiades]

Is it weird that the overriding feeling of tediousness that overcomes me when someone uses the word "alpha" to describe their lifestyle or outlook, is the same feeling I get when people talk about the magical healing qualities of crystals, or how God saved them?

Nope it's not weird, that's what a lot of the more civilized amongst us think when the testosterone-fuelled freaks come slouching out of the jungle to entertain us with their manly fantasies. And there are a lot of them in Colchester (being a barracks town it's full of the dumb ****ers)...

 

[Pleiades]

whole point of my post was in response to someone who really did incorrectly infer that just because someone posts on a computer forum means they cannot be manly.

Nope you inferred stuff into my post that wasn't actually there.

"Honestly didn't realise how many heroic, manly paragons posted on computer forums nowadays".

Deconstruct that (if you're able) without the prejudice of your background showing thru. Give u a clue: there are many ways to read it - but you showed your insecurities by your particular response.

As with the other poster, you make me LOL. You're the only one riled up - laughably listing all the dumb things you're capable off, fantastic!

If OP takes any of the pathetic alpha advice he's a bona fide idiot. This is frikkin 2014, being a man is more complex that just being a thick brute displaying their astounding attributes like a gibbon does his backside, for attention and so-called 'respect'. Though of course it's a lot more difficult - which is why the easier option of being a thoughtless sexist (and probably a lot more -'ists' judging by the ****wit squaddies about) moronic buffoon is a lot more palatable to the socially/emotionally/intellectually challenged.

 

[Locky]

100% this other guy has been hanging out the back of her, don't believe a word she says.

 

[Rroff]

Easy to say. Relationships can mess with anyone's head. Even the strongest among us. Age does help. I'm far better equipped to handle these things at 34 than I was at 24. He just needs to realise that nobody died, life goes on and he will be happy again.

And to stop making excuses for the lying cheating whore and cut her loose.

Feel glad sort of that I can almost entirely switch it off if I'm sure she no longer wants or doesn't have any interest in being with me, but the one(s) where you know its not a case of that but other things make it complicated is still a total mind ****.

 

[AndyT]

Genuinely impressed with all the Alpha males' comments. Honestly didn't realise how many heroic, manly paragons posted on computer forums nowadays. Bet if there were any dragons about, these guys would sort them out with their manly, ALPHA FISTS then b down t'pub (making sure missus is literally chained to cooker) talking bravely about all the people (wot don't think or look like them) they'd kill if it was legal of course innit and how they'd sort out the Middle East problems with their FISTS OF STEEL and how they've got the fastest Fiesta on the estate, the most kids from different mothers and more PC games than they've got time to play, you know - what with taking out the local drug dealers (n blokes wot looked at their bird) with their MIGHTY FISTS an' all that... not to mention their footie team which is betterer than anyone else's 'cos their fans have got the biggest FISTS!

You can rest assured that someday they will end up with an arrow to the knee.

 

[RoboCod]

Nope you inferred stuff into my post that wasn't actually there.

"Honestly didn't realise how many heroic, manly paragons posted on computer forums nowadays".

Deconstruct that (if you're able) without the prejudice of your background showing thru. Give u a clue: there are many ways to read it - but you showed your insecurities by your particular response.

As with the other poster, you make me LOL. You're the only one riled up - laughably listing all the dumb things you're capable off, fantastic!

If OP takes any of the pathetic alpha advice he's a bona fide idiot. This is frikkin 2014, being a man is more complex that just being a thick brute displaying their astounding attributes like a gibbon does his backside, for attention and so-called 'respect'. Though of course it's a lot more difficult - which is why the easier option of being a thoughtless sexist (and probably a lot more -'ists' judging by the ****wit squaddies about) moronic buffoon is a lot more palatable to the socially/emotionally/intellectually challenged.

Bigoted post is not even worth forming a reply. You clearly have a chip that you ought to go address. I wish you luck with that my beta fellow

 

[Danthus]

As long as the OP has some closure and feels able to move on with his life, that is a start.

.......

He doesn't want closure, he wants her back.

 

[Rannoch]

100% this other guy has been hanging out the back of her, don't believe a word she says.

I agree, she doesn't want to hurt you so she tells you nothing happened, she's trying to keep the peace, I wonder what her side of the story is?

Were you in a comfort relationship? Just muddling along day by day? Hoping things gets better...

 

[V4NT0M]

Get a dog.

 

[David_VI]

I agree, she doesn't want to hurt you so she tells you nothing happened, she's trying to keep the peace, I wonder what her side of the story is?

Were you in a comfort relationship? Just muddling along day by day? Hoping things gets better...

Not really a comfort relationship, we both wanted to get married.

totally agree on this one, from what you said she seems at least partially truthful although I am more inclined to believe she is being honest. She met with you , stayed calm and talked it through I had a relationship or 2 end with a civilised conversation and we stayed as friends after.

Good luck to you man. My offer to talk online is still open, and it doesn't necessarily have to be about this either, we can just have a laugh

I found out more stuff.. She had lied about something. Feel like a fool now for coming on here saying I thought I could trust her when most of you were right. Still we've seen each other again and been adults about it. She's sorting herself out now at least.. She just messes with everyone she touches seriously.. ugh. I pity her but still love her.

I can't really say much more, fed up with it. Time is the answer.

 

[Rofflay]

Get rid mate. I found out my ex of 4.5 yrs had been planning to get together with a guy in the last 3 months of our relationship when I saw a xmas card she had sent him with a picture of them together saying "sorry about the bad timing, looking forward to spending more time together in the new year" or some nonsense. Apparently "they hadn't done anything; they were waiting for the right time for me and her to split before they started anything". Looking back they had spent an odd amount of time together "planning lessons" and one night she didn't come home from his because she was "too drunk to walk". All the signs were there in hindsight but I was too stupid to realise.

Hilariously, 6 months later her new fella turned out to be a scumbag and cast her aside like a used tissue. She came back to me wailing and saying sorry for everything that had happened. She didn't want to get back together, but just wanted to atone for her sluttishness. I listened intently to her story, and told her how awful she'd made me feel and she cried even more. It was incredibly satisfying as I hadn't had the chance before that - I had gone "radio-silence" to make a clean break. I have never looked back, and neither should you. She only crawled back into my life to assuage her guilt over what she'd done. I forgave her in the end, because her situation had become a bit pathetic and quite sad.

6 years later, we still occasionally see each other in group situations. Her new boyfriend is a complete tool, doesn't want to get married and doesn't want kids. She wants both and is 31 going on 32. Gutted.

That is probably the best read and laugh i have had this week man. Seriously sounds like Karma got them perfectly. At 31 for a woman wanting kids ouch, Breakup will be coming soon or worse he will end up having kids he never wanted and will bail out on them all for some young bint who will probably leave him too. Maybe they will reunite out of unhappyness and desperation.


That is probably my nightmare situation to die and have that happen. I reckon you probably did the right thing to forgive her even though she blatantly only done it to get rid of the guilt which is another selfish act. How much temptation is there to sort of pop out now and reveal your true revenge capacity? You know a dish best served cold and stewed for a few years. Have you saw the Cartman ovaries episode where he taunts about old shrivled and dry ovaries?


Maybe mail her some prunes and say here is your ovaries biatch? Love Andy xoxoxo

 

[David_VI]

I am so ****** angry at the guy, what a disgusting human being.. Not that she is not at fault, she is.. But he knew she was not well and still went ahead with things..Taking advantage of a vunerable female, I know all it takes is "no" but jesus if he actually cared about her like he claimed he would not have let things happen. If I ever see him I do not know what I would do.

ugh.

 

[Lokai]

I am so ****** angry at the guy, what a disgusting human being.. Not that she is not at fault, she is.. But he knew she was not well and still went ahead with things..Taking advantage of a vunerable female, I know all it takes is "no" but jesus if he actually cared about her like he claimed he would not have let things happen. If I ever see him I do not know what I would do.

ugh.

Its not the guy you need to be mad at.....

 

[Tefal]

Not really a comfort relationship, we both wanted to get married.



I found out more stuff.. She had lied about something. Feel like a fool now for coming on here saying I thought I could trust her when most of you were right. Still we've seen each other again and been adults about it. She's sorting herself out now at least.. She just messes with everyone she touches seriously.. ugh. I pity her but still love her.

I can't really say much more, fed up with it. Time is the answer.

I am so ****** angry at the guy, what a disgusting human being.. Not that she is not at fault, she is.. But he knew she was not well and still went ahead with things..Taking advantage of a vunerable female, I know all it takes is "no" but jesus if he actually cared about her like he claimed he would not have let things happen. If I ever see him I do not know what I would do.

ugh.

so she slept with him/did some stuff?

trust me mate this inst him manipulating the vulnerable woman this is the woman preparing to jump ship and wanting to make sure shes got her next choice right before she does it.

shes now telling you this as she wants to be seen just as you see her now the innocent victim not the ****, its damage control for her image among others do not belvie a word of it.

 

[Tefal]

Nope you inferred stuff into my post that wasn't actually there.

"Honestly didn't realise how many heroic, manly paragons posted on computer forums nowadays".

Deconstruct that (if you're able) without the prejudice of your background showing thru. Give u a clue: there are many ways to read it - but you showed your insecurities by your particular response.

As with the other poster, you make me LOL. You're the only one riled up - laughably listing all the dumb things you're capable off, fantastic!

If OP takes any of the pathetic alpha advice he's a bona fide idiot. This is frikkin 2014, being a man is more complex that just being a thick brute displaying their astounding attributes like a gibbon does his backside, for attention and so-called 'respect'. Though of course it's a lot more difficult - which is why the easier option of being a thoughtless sexist (and probably a lot more -'ists' judging by the ****wit squaddies about) moronic buffoon is a lot more palatable to the socially/emotionally/intellectually challenged.

For someone claiming to be the more developed modern man you seem more like a petulant child throwing insults, making things up, putting people down even ridiculing their jobs and professions.

you really need to do some growing up and learn that being a man is about responsibilities and not just running your mouth off about how much better you are than others, that is what you should have left in the playground.

 

[Rofflay]

I am so ****** angry at the guy, what a disgusting human being.. Not that she is not at fault, she is.. But he knew she was not well and still went ahead with things..Taking advantage of a vunerable female, I know all it takes is "no" but jesus if he actually cared about her like he claimed he would not have let things happen. If I ever see him I do not know what I would do.

ugh.

As someone else said on here a lot of women are like Monkeys they never let go of an old branch until they have both firmly on the new branch. And god damm is it true because if someone had told me this when i was younger it would have saved me five years of pain. And a cold hard truth here from someone who has been there and done it is this.


If someone has not yet learned about pain being a decent person, There is nothing you can really do about it even with a time machine you cannot make someone grow up. And there is no internet manual on the right way to do things. Nothing can be predicted so the only thing you can do is what you want to do.


Do you want to marry a monkey? Or do you want something better?

 

[Castiel]

Been to middle east 5 times in support of conflict? Check
Am tall and very heavy with muscle? Check
Am man and eat meat, can hunt, maintain a rifle and do other typically man things? Check
Post on computer forum so therefore obviously just a spotty little nerd? Uwotm8?

Lol.

Still a pansy!