Tbh the money doesn't bother me. It was an off the cuff joke...we still had a brilliant time so I'm not annoyed by it.
The OcUK Relationship Counselling and Hugs Thread
- Thread starter mattyprice4004
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Tbh the money doesn't bother me. It was an off the cuff joke...we still had a brilliant time so I'm not annoyed by it.
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ok well if you had a good time then its worth it, i guess. Sorry to hear about the break up. I thought it was like she just got back and ended it, but it seems it was not like that.
Did she have a bad breakup?
The fact which (admittedly I'm stereotyping) concern me is the fact that she's a single mum but from a different dad who's not in the picture.
I'm assuming you mean the dad isn't her most recent ex.
If that's the case, to me it seems as if you may have found someone with issues. Hell, we've all go them, granted. But what I mean is her track record is speaking for itself.
A kid in the picture is definitely complicating things. It almost reads as if she's stringing you along for the attention. I could be wrong though.
The fact which (admittedly I'm stereotyping) concern me is the fact that she's a single mum but from a different dad who's not in the picture.
I'm assuming you mean the dad isn't her most recent ex.
If that's the case, to me it seems as if you may have found someone with issues. Hell, we've all go them, granted. But what I mean is her track record is speaking for itself.
A kid in the picture is definitely complicating things. It almost reads as if she's stringing you along for the attention. I could be wrong though.
She's playing you hot and cold and I cant quite work out why? Circumstances do seem odd.
I would suggest maybe speaking to her about how you feel. At some point you are going to have to clarify if this has any future if you both want it to? If the relationship is not giving you what you want, and doesn't look like it will in the future you are wasting each others time.
Sounds harsh but its true.
I would suggest maybe speaking to her about how you feel. At some point you are going to have to clarify if this has any future if you both want it to? If the relationship is not giving you what you want, and doesn't look like it will in the future you are wasting each others time.
Sounds harsh but its true.
First and foremost you have to be honest with your feelings towards her, and how her actions are making you feel. Hopefully then she will be open and honest with her feelings towards you. I think for guys we try and play this game of can't be too clingy, need to be alpha etc etc... Just be yourself through out it all.
I was in a similar situation where things were going well, but this was over the course of a year, and then affection, sex, and communication would tail off to the point where she would hardly contact me. I told her exactly how I felt and it made no blind bit of difference, but at least I got it off my chest and did all I could. I got to the point where I went round one night, and she was there with another guy :/
Needless to say we are no more
Now I am not saying the same event is happening to you here, but what I can say is that you just need to tell her how you feel, for your benefit... Just don't use the L word
You have concerns.
Its time to talk to her about them
Otherwise you are wasting each others time.
Although more extreme, sounds a little like mine. When your together it's awesome but as soon as your apart it's like you're pestering just to get a little attention.
I'm the worst person to be giving advice but I think I'd have to say something. Try to word it carefully so you don't sound too whiny or needy but also make it clear that you would like a little more contact. What your looking for is some effort on her part?
I'm the worst person to be giving advice but I think I'd have to say something. Try to word it carefully so you don't sound too whiny or needy but also make it clear that you would like a little more contact. What your looking for is some effort on her part?
Strangely enough... The girl who I broke up with for cheating had bipolar. If you know of any woman with bipolar then I would avoid a relationship with them... They are hard work!!!
This is true. And from what you've identified earlier she may well be just being 'protective'. However -- remember I only have a surface understanding here -- it doesn't seem to quite fit here.
I'd disagree with you here mate.
Yes, she probably could get it elsewhere, but right now she doesn't need to.
The very fact she's blowing hot and cold with you is what makes me think she's playing silly buggers. The question is why, hence why I asked about the past relationship.
Some women are used to manipulating people to very high degrees. I wouldn't place too much weight behind those facts until you're absolutely certain that she's not doing that. Just put that to a side for now, it's irrelevant.
It may be she likes the idea of a relationship but may not be 'ready'.
She's got heavy baggage mate (a child). Don't white-knight/martyr yourself over this.
Remember, actions speak louder than words.
I'd be inclined to say just let it play out for a few more months and see how things develop. Don't put all your eggs in this basket just yet mate.
How old is the child?
Only ask because children do make things complicated but they are not like brick walls to having a relationship. Mine isn't perfect as you can see from this thread but I've got a 2 year old and 12 year old who live with me and my GF has 12, 10, 6 all girls!
If the child isn't too old then maybe she is still finding out how to best have a relationship now she has more than just herself to think about.
Only ask because children do make things complicated but they are not like brick walls to having a relationship. Mine isn't perfect as you can see from this thread but I've got a 2 year old and 12 year old who live with me and my GF has 12, 10, 6 all girls!
If the child isn't too old then maybe she is still finding out how to best have a relationship now she has more than just herself to think about.
I think he means that something doesn't feel right. Now if he didn't care about her then he wouldn't be on here asking for our advice and moving on.
I think that you need to play it out and when the time comes for you two to talk then have that talk. May be this is just a blip, may be she is used to guys coming in and out of her life using her, may be she is afraid to settle for the fear of rejection further down the line. Who know's?! but until you talk to her you will never know.
I wonder if the motherhood gene kicked in and told her to back off to work you out. If the meeting up drops off and so do the bedroom antics then you'll either stick at it because you want her or you'll ditch her because you aren't getting enough.
If you back off from the contact a little then she'll either increase contact or she won't say anything. What I would do is make sure when you do text everything is cool your end.
Just as an aside, anyone got any tips on how to spot the signs of being strung along?
If you back off from the contact a little then she'll either increase contact or she won't say anything. What I would do is make sure when you do text everything is cool your end.
Just as an aside, anyone got any tips on how to spot the signs of being strung along?