At a meeting on Friday in York, Yorkshire, native British leaders weighed a handful of proposals about the future of the UK’s large, illegal mainland European Saxon, Norman and Viking population. After a long debate, they decided to extend a road to citizenship for those without criminal records or contagious diseases.
“We will give Saxons, Normans and Vikings the option to apply for Native Citizenship,” explained John Seas of the British Native Council. “To obtain legal status, each applicant must write a heartfelt apology for their ancestors’ crimes, pay an application fee of £5,000, and, if currently on any ancestral Native land, they must relinquish that land to the British Native Council or pay the market price, which we decide."
“Any illegal Saxon, Norman or Viking who has a criminal record of any sort, minus traffic and parking tickets, will be deported back to their native land. Anybody with contagious diseases like HIV, smallpox, herpes, etc, will not qualify and will also be deported.”
Saxon, Norman and Viking colonization of the British Isles began in the 4th century and continued into the 11th century, when arrivals from France (then Frankia), Norway and Denmark first established settlements on land that had been occupied by native peoples.
Despite the large number of Saxons, Normans and Vikings residing in the United Kingdom, historical scholars mostly agree that indigenous lands were taken illegally through war, genocide and forced displacement.
Despite the council’s decision, a native group called UKIP lambasted the move, claiming amnesty will only serve to reward lawbreakers.
“They all need to be deported back to mainland Europe,” Fred Long from UKIP said. “They came here illegally and took a giant **** on our land. They took our jobs, overstreched our healthcare system and stole everything we have because they were too lazy to improve and develop their own countries.”
Scholars have pointed out the schemes folly though, in that it would only leave around 60,000 residents in Britain, and would cripple the nations finances.