They aren't 100% effective.
Regarding the MA pill, condom broke - pill was taken, period happened week or so later. Baby conceived 2 weeks after that.
No crazy nut job lady here.
Abortion/termination - anyone ever had one?
- Thread starter Spuddy
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They aren't 100% effective.
Regarding the MA pill, condom broke - pill was taken, period happened week or so later. Baby conceived 2 weeks after that.
No crazy nut job lady here.
Soldato
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She had a period and then got pregnant?
Got pregnant in her next menstrual cycle obviously.
It's the last place I wanted to turn to but needed peoples opinions, I needed to get it off my chest.
I don't really want to turn to close friends at this stage as I feel the less people around me that know until a final decision has been made the better.
She had a period and then got pregnant?
Its not an annual things like some animals you know
Soldato
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Bit of an emotive subject for me at the moment but something I've learnt over the years is who is to say that you will be able to have children further down the line? There is no guarantee.
There is never an ideal time to have a child in one sense - some want to wait until they have completed education/promotion, be more financially stable, own their own place, own a place big enough etc etc. It's almost never going to be the "right" time, whatever that means.
If your girlfriend wants this baby then raising the issue of abortion is going to stir the pot I'm afraid and looking at it from her point of view I can understand why.
Aside from my Christian beliefs and my view on aborting a child, there is absolutely no reason you cannot do a good job at uni and support a family. Quite honestly babies aren't as expensive as most people think they are - my daughter is nearly 4 and we've had to buy almost nothing new and quite frankly her room is bursting at the seems with clothes and toys for her. They are hard work in one sense, some have a tough few months with sleepless nights but a lot don't.
Also don't go by age or even how you feel as to whether you would make/be a good dad - most days I don't feel like a good dad but you just have to muddle your way through.
As big a shock as this is for you, the hard job is done by your girlfriend and pregnancy isn't easy and she will need your support.
I could say more but IMO just man up and do the right thing by way your girlfriend and future family.
There is never an ideal time to have a child in one sense - some want to wait until they have completed education/promotion, be more financially stable, own their own place, own a place big enough etc etc. It's almost never going to be the "right" time, whatever that means.
If your girlfriend wants this baby then raising the issue of abortion is going to stir the pot I'm afraid and looking at it from her point of view I can understand why.
Aside from my Christian beliefs and my view on aborting a child, there is absolutely no reason you cannot do a good job at uni and support a family. Quite honestly babies aren't as expensive as most people think they are - my daughter is nearly 4 and we've had to buy almost nothing new and quite frankly her room is bursting at the seems with clothes and toys for her. They are hard work in one sense, some have a tough few months with sleepless nights but a lot don't.
Also don't go by age or even how you feel as to whether you would make/be a good dad - most days I don't feel like a good dad but you just have to muddle your way through.
As big a shock as this is for you, the hard job is done by your girlfriend and pregnancy isn't easy and she will need your support.
I could say more but IMO just man up and do the right thing by way your girlfriend and future family.
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Soldato
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Yeah that is why I am confused. Given the timings and the life expectancy of sperm I would think it unlikely for her to have a period and then get pregnant from sperm that have been in her vagina/womb for several weeks.
I am no expert, obviously, but it just sounds a little bit of a strange time line.
Yeah sorry, my point about the MA pill was that we were actively trying to NOT get pregnant after we had a contraception mishap (broken condom). But now she wants to keep the baby...
Obviously we fell 'unlucky' as such because an ineffective condom was used about 2 weeks later. I think they're only 97% effective or something anyways?
Man of Honour
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I assume you're 20/21?
Been there. She did end up having an abortion and although I know she regretted that, I don't. Having a decade to mature I know it was the best decision for me. I wasn't ready then, the relationship was never going to work long term and the upbringing for the child would have been far from ideal. That was one of the best decisions I ever made.
I feel ready for kids now, but I don't wonder about the past. I know that I can provide a much more stable environment for a child now, but 10 years ago any kid would be messed up by having separated, low income and immature parents. That's not what I want for my kids.
Been there. She did end up having an abortion and although I know she regretted that, I don't. Having a decade to mature I know it was the best decision for me. I wasn't ready then, the relationship was never going to work long term and the upbringing for the child would have been far from ideal. That was one of the best decisions I ever made.
I feel ready for kids now, but I don't wonder about the past. I know that I can provide a much more stable environment for a child now, but 10 years ago any kid would be messed up by having separated, low income and immature parents. That's not what I want for my kids.
Having a baby at just the time of final exams/final project at uni is something I will probably end up doing this academic year. I'm full-time employed, studying towards a BEng, have a two year old, a wife and all the trimmings that goes with that lot. I fit a lot in, I'm often busy DIYing the house/car/whatever as well as juggling deadlines for uni.
I can understand your concerns, but IME it's not that hard to juggle a baby, family and study. You just learn to deal with it and in doing so become more resilient, more efficient and TBH you know it's not likely to ever get much harder than it is at that time.
I can understand your concerns, but IME it's not that hard to juggle a baby, family and study. You just learn to deal with it and in doing so become more resilient, more efficient and TBH you know it's not likely to ever get much harder than it is at that time.
If she keeps the pregnancy and the two of you have a baby, whether you stay together or not, you still have a responsibility to support the child. How successful that is will be upto both of you.
If she does go with a termination, then you both have your freedom, but you and her will have second-thoughts, guilt, depression risk etc. not just short term but also later on. This is not a fallout-free solution to the dillema of unplannedparenthood pregnancy that many people think it is.
Neither option is easy, neither option has a right/wrong answer.
As the bloke in the equation, you can only influence but ultimately the decision is hers.
If she does go with a termination, then you both have your freedom, but you and her will have second-thoughts, guilt, depression risk etc. not just short term but also later on. This is not a fallout-free solution to the dillema of unplanned
Neither option is easy, neither option has a right/wrong answer.
As the bloke in the equation, you can only influence but ultimately the decision is hers.
As a couple of others mentioned, it’s not really your choice... sure you can state your feelings to your gf about it but ultimately she has the final choice. Granted a new born will be more "work" but you say she already has a 4 year old child soooooo why is s/he (child) not an issue but a new born by you and her a problem ? Seems conflicting to me.
Sounds like you and your gf really need to sit down and talk together (just you and her). But you can't force her to do anything.
Sounds like you and your gf really need to sit down and talk together (just you and her). But you can't force her to do anything.
Soldato
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So, you had a mishap and took the MA pill.
She then had a period as normal.
Then 2 weeks after that you had another mishap?
Is that what you mean?
24, mature student... GF is 31.
These are also my concerns, if this relationship is going to be long term, we've been together for 2 years, had some rough patches I admit and although the last few months have been pretty great. Its not necessarily an indication that this will last or won't last.
Thanks for your input.
Same situation as billions of teenagers, young adults etc. across the globe.
For some reason its way easier to have sex than it is to have a conversation saying "I want to have sex, I don't want to make a baby, so how would we like to do this "
Doesnt get any easier with older couples either, especially when the "body-clock" is supposedly going to run out.
Your age gap is pretty similar to me and my girlfriend. (25 & 30)
I'm definitely not ready for kids but once they hit 30 that's all they care about! (even if she's already had one like in your case)
If she wants it she will keep it.
She actually brought up the subject of kids after we had only been together a couple of months. I said I outright don't want them and don't ever think I will and we nearly broke up. When it last came up again I said I definitely don't want a kid any time soon but who knows in the future and that seemed to be enough for her for now. I'm literally waiting every time I speak to her for her to bring it up again...
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Have a read of Vita's thread.
You can make your opinion known to your GF but ultimately if she keeps it and you split up there's nothing you can do, you'll be supporting the child either way.
I take it your GF has a house of her own?
You can make your opinion known to your GF but ultimately if she keeps it and you split up there's nothing you can do, you'll be supporting the child either way.
I take it your GF has a house of her own?