Abortion/termination - anyone ever had one?

Been there just after uni... Went the termination route. Its never bothered me and was the correct decision. I was in no position to bring up a child the way I wanted to bring up a child. We split up after 5 years and in hindsight it was a even better decision, its quite clinical but finances proved a big part in the choice.

I am firm believer in you need to set up in life before you start popping out kids. The world doesn't need anymore unprovided sprogs.
 
Well, got an update guys, the GF has text me saying that basically she wants to end the relationship and is going to terminate the pregnancy, both because of my attitude towards terminating the pregnancy. She won't entertain the idea of keeping the baby but us being apart so I don't have to move in.

Cant say Im exactly happy given the circumstances as now I have also lost a GF that I love very much and a child, but this just proves it was never meant to be.

Thank you for everyones input and support.

Danny.
 
Op

I think you are making the right decision with not moving in right away.
Also not just moving in because of the pregnancy, letting her know she hasn't got you completely by the balls.
You've got time to make a rational decision on what you want to do in terms of her and the relationship.

What you two need to be clear on is what's going to happen with the pregnancy.

I wouldn't personally know what to do, telling her whether you want to keep it or not
Obviously it's her decision, but if she makes the Decision unilaterally (as she can) at least you get a sense of the person she really is. It's probably hard to not sounds cold of you did say you didn't want it.

Personally I'd probably aproach it. Whether you don't know, don't want it, do want it. All are reasonable views and she shouldn't fly off the handle at any. Although she might!
I wouldn't want her thinking you want it if you don't, or vice versa
 
Spuddy said:
Well, got an update guys, the GF has text me saying that basically she wants to end the relationship and is going to terminate the pregnancy, both because of my attitude towards terminating the pregnancy. She won't entertain the idea of keeping the baby but us being apart so I don't have to move in.

Cant say Im exactly happy given the circumstances as now I have also lost a GF that I love very much and a child, but this just proves it was never meant to be.

Thank you for everyones input and support.

Danny.
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Ignore the previous post

I don't think you have been out of order at all. You haven't gone back on a decision, mislead her. Like you say, sounds like it wasn't meant to be.

If this is the final outcome, it's better than her keeping it and going.
Was she definitely pregnant?

Sorry for your loss buddy,
 
Burnsy2023 said:
This thread won't be locked.

To all, please be respectful and give you experiences as the OP has asked. This is not the place to debate prolife/prochoice.
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Thanks but if you see above, this thread has now run its course for my purpose. However if people still want to share experiences, thats cool too. Im all ears.
 
Spuddy said:
Well, got an update guys, the GF has text me saying that basically she wants to end the relationship and is going to terminate the pregnancy, both because of my attitude towards terminating the pregnancy. She won't entertain the idea of keeping the baby but us being apart so I don't have to move in.

Cant say Im exactly happy given the circumstances as now I have also lost a GF that I love very much and a child, but this just proves it was never meant to be.

Thank you for everyones input and support.

Danny.
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I imagine in your position I would feel relived, if only because the decision was taken out of my hands.
 
Spuddy said:
Well, got an update guys, the GF has text me saying that basically she wants to end the relationship and is going to terminate the pregnancy, both because of my attitude towards terminating the pregnancy. She won't entertain the idea of keeping the baby but us being apart so I don't have to move in.

Cant say Im exactly happy given the circumstances as now I have also lost a GF that I love very much and a child, but this just proves it was never meant to be.

Thank you for everyones input and support.

Danny.
Click to expand...


I imagine it will hurt for a while, but really her attitude towards this has been pretty terrible also, I think you may have dodged a bullet in the long term.
 
I'm now single al4x said:
Ignore the previous post

I don't think you have been out of order at all. You haven't gone back on a decision, mislead her. Like you say, sounds like it wasn't meant to be.

If this is the final outcome, it's better than her keeping it and going.
Was she definitely pregnant?

Sorry for your loss buddy,
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Thank you, yes she was definitely pregnant, did two tests when I was there a couple of days apart.

Its odd but right now I feel more guilty for that unborn 'child' than I do feel sad for losing her.
 
Spuddy said:
Thank you, yes she was definitely pregnant, did two tests when I was there a couple of days apart.

Its odd but right now I feel more guilty for that unborn 'child' than I do feel sad for losing her.
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I think that shows enough that the relationship wasnt ideal for a child in itself
 
Spuddy said:
Well, got an update guys, the GF has text me saying that basically she wants to end the relationship and is going to terminate the pregnancy, both because of my attitude towards terminating the pregnancy. She won't entertain the idea of keeping the baby but us being apart so I don't have to move in.

Cant say Im exactly happy given the circumstances as now I have also lost a GF that I love very much and a child, but this just proves it was never meant to be.

Thank you for everyones input and support.

Danny.
Click to expand...

Sorry to hear that. Shame you couldn't both come to an understanding together. You tried though and I know it doesn't mean much now but you can hold your head high. You weren't the cold hearted git some here are making you out to be.
 
I guess I'm sorry to hear the outcome. As you know, I'm not a fan of abortion but you were being effectively held to ransom.

Just make sure you're satisfied you've done everything you can. This isn't something either of you can change your mind about in a few days. Ultimately it's her choice and you don't get to make the final decision on the pregnancy either way.
 
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I'm now single al4x said:
I think that shows enough that the relationship wasnt ideal for a child in itself
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Yep, I think it does too. If she was so keen on having this baby before when I was against it - why the sudden change of heart from her? Was she using it as a tool to control me rather than actually wanting it?


Dis86 said:
Sorry to hear that. Shame you couldn't both come to an understanding together. You tried though and I know it doesn't mean much now but you can hold your head high. You weren't the cold hearted git some here are making you out to be.
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Thanks, Id like to think Im not cold hearted. I just want whats best for me and any child I do have. Feel pretty empty right now if Im honest, now thats its final and I definitely won't be having this child.

Was never an easy decision.

RoboCod said:
d/r
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No idea what this means, guess Im not cool enough.


Uriel said:
I guess I'm sorry to hear the outcome. As you know, I'm not a fan of abortion but you were being effectively held to ransom.

Just make sure you're satisfied you've done everything you can. This isn't something either of you can change your mind about in a few days. Ultimately it's her choice and you don't get to make the final decision on the pregnancy either way.
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Pretty sure I've done everything I pretty much can, tried texting back but she wasn't having any of it and then said that she won't reply to any future texts, fair enough. I will see her at work this weekend however, so that will be interesting...
 
Come to think of it, something similar happened to a friend of mine at 16 years old. I remember getting the text from him in the middle of the night saying he was going to be a dad and me nearly falling out of bed. In that case it was her dad pushing for the termination. They agreed to get engaged and that was enough for him to drop his other demands.

There was another silver lining for him though. Her dad was a millionaire and not so long later he was driving a BMW and living in a nice detached house.

They're still together in their mid 30s and happy AFAIK.
 
kindai said:
I imagine it will hurt for a while, but really her attitude towards this has been pretty terrible also, I think you may have dodged a bullet in the long term.
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This, can completely understand your misgivings and she has now re-affirmed that you had made the correct decision as the relationship was going to be a 1 way street.
 
She texted you to finish the relationship and tell you she was having an abortion? This plus the earlier demands she was insisting upon leave me thinking that whilst this must be a horrible situation to have to go through, this is the least bad outcome for you.

Chin up sir, and keep on keeping on :)
 
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