Advice on Business Flyer!

spoffle · 11 Oct 2015 at 10:00

Lopéz said:
It looks like it was written by somebody who doesn't speak English as a first language. I think you need to start again from scratch.

That is unfortunately how a lot of native English speakers write.

MichaelAwkward · 11 Oct 2015 at 10:03

If I got that through my letter box, it would go straight into the recycling.

Kenai · 11 Oct 2015 at 10:06

Don't non-Apple replacement parts cause this Error 53 nonsense that bricks your phone these days?

Edrof · 11 Oct 2015 at 10:26

Baz, your friend needs to find a copywriter.

Lopéz said:
It looks like it was written by somebody who doesn't speak English as a first language. I think you need to start again from scratch.

spoffle said:
That is unfortunately how a lot of native English speakers write.

Agreed, agreed, agreed. So why don't small businesses ask copywriters or proofreaders to help? It's not like they're cheap and able to make a business look vastly more professional or anything...

baz_ said:

The above could be edited into perfection in under an hour. As it stands, how many potential customers will it put off?

JohnnyG · 11 Oct 2015 at 10:57

I wouldn't trust Robin van Persie to fix my PC or iPhone, sorry.

fatiain · 11 Oct 2015 at 11:13

JohnnyG said:
I wouldn't trust Robin van Persie to fix my PC or iPhone, sorry.

Especially as it appears he has opened a PSU.

Aedus · 11 Oct 2015 at 11:37

I had a play about with it, I couldn't be bothered to do the apple pricing and stuff too, and some stuff is probably misaligned, but it was just a quick job to get rid of the awful stock image and the From from from from from

Lopéz · 11 Oct 2015 at 11:48

That's already a million times better

byeo · 11 Oct 2015 at 12:27

Aedus said:
I had a play about with it, I couldn't be bothered to do the apple pricing and stuff too, and some stuff is probably misaligned, but it was just a quick job to get rid of the awful stock image and the From from from from from

100% improvement.

ChroniC · 11 Oct 2015 at 12:32

Grammatically maybe, visually it's awful.

Cat_J · 11 Oct 2015 at 12:44

fatiain said:
Especially as it appears he has opened a PSU.

Also why does he need those pliers? lol

fatiain · 11 Oct 2015 at 13:17

Cat_J said:
Also why does he need those pliers? lol

To poke around inside the PSU with!

Aedus · 11 Oct 2015 at 13:45

ChroniC said:
Grammatically maybe, visually it's awful.

Feel free to spend more than 30 minutes of your own time doing a total redesign for free.

It's only a hack job using what's already there to change the layout and get rid of the worst of the mistakes. Not going to spend hours on an entirely new leaflet for nothing.

Mr Joshua · 11 Oct 2015 at 14:21

Rotty said:
feedback? if I'm to be honest that's awful, makes you sound like a bunch of wide boys

harry5522 said:
Can you please define "wide boys" please.

Not come across that one before

Nearly ****ing myself at this exchange

.

Oh and good luck to you OP, working for yourself must be one of the most liberating experiences i can imagine and I hope it works out for you.

ChroniC · 11 Oct 2015 at 16:18

Aedus said:
Feel free to spend more than 30 minutes of your own time doing a total redesign for free.

It's only a hack job using what's already there to change the layout and get rid of the worst of the mistakes. Not going to spend hours on an entirely new leaflet for nothing.

I won't but then that begs the question, why did you.

Aedus · 11 Oct 2015 at 16:23

ChroniC said:
I won't but then that begs the question, why did you.

I didn't, because it's not a total redesign, it's taking elements from an existing design and rearranging them and cutting out the faff.

Do you understand basic English?

ChroniC · 11 Oct 2015 at 16:36

I do, and as such I can see you spent less than 30 minutes on that as you said. My question stands, why even bother doing that for free.

baz_ · 11 Oct 2015 at 16:37

Guys thanks you all for your input it is very much appricated, it's the first time I have ever had anything like this done, so didn't have a clue on what way to go with it .

Thanks again

Aedus · 11 Oct 2015 at 16:42

ChroniC said:
I do, and as such I can see you spent less than 30 minutes on that as you said. My question stands, why even bother doing that for free.

Just so OP can take the amendments to show his mate, and then his mate (who will probably spend more than 30 minutes on it), can do a proper/better design. Having something visual is much better than being told what's wrong, and like I say, it took less than 30 minutes which is what I'd waste browsing the forum anyway, so thought why not?

Edrof · 11 Oct 2015 at 16:56

ChroniC said:
I do, and as such I can see you spent less than 30 minutes on that as you said. My question stands, why even bother doing that for free.

He's kindly helping out a board member. It looks better than the original. What's the problem?