50 to be precise...so I read in a book
Poll: As a third party, is it okay to cheat?
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50 to be precise...so I read in a book
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I don't think it's ok for person A. They are in a committed relationship.
Person C, is not making the choice to cheat they are just the outlet for Person A to cheat on Person B.
While person B may be mad at both. Person A has made the choice.
Person C is making a choice, they are choosing to sleep with someone they know is in a relationship. Personally I think that is wrong, very wrong.
For those saying it's OK for person C are you thinking about it from person C's perspective?
What if you instead put yourself in person B's shoes? Let's say that your girlfriend or wife is sleeping with another man. Would you be cross only at your partner or would you also be cross at the other guy who's in her bed?
What if you instead put yourself in person B's shoes? Let's say that your girlfriend or wife is sleeping with another man. Would you be cross only at your partner or would you also be cross at the other guy who's in her bed?
Person A is an individual, not an item of property. The idea that Person C is in for some moral blame for taking something away from B is absurd.
Beyond that, the issue seems to be predicated on the idea that the 'Bad Thing' is that cheating occurs, rather than realising the problem is actually Person A's willingness to cheat at all.
Beyond that, the issue seems to be predicated on the idea that the 'Bad Thing' is that cheating occurs, rather than realising the problem is actually Person A's willingness to cheat at all.
Soldato
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No,
I'd tell person C to "get more girls bro" and get out of scarcity.
I'd tell person C to "get more girls bro" and get out of scarcity.
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I would say the "bad thing" is that Person C is facilitating dishonesty.
People are missing the point:
As person C is aware of the relationship between A and B, they know the consequence of their actions by sleeping with A -- although technically not cheating themselves -- will cause trauma and pain for B regardless if they have any responsibility because they 'know' them. Being a stranger doesn't mean that the hurt is diminished, it just means you can pretend it didn't happen; out of sight out of mind.
By sleeping with A, C is hurting B because they are aware of the relationship between A and B.
As person C is aware of the relationship between A and B, they know the consequence of their actions by sleeping with A -- although technically not cheating themselves -- will cause trauma and pain for B regardless if they have any responsibility because they 'know' them. Being a stranger doesn't mean that the hurt is diminished, it just means you can pretend it didn't happen; out of sight out of mind.
By sleeping with A, C is hurting B because they are aware of the relationship between A and B.
Soldato
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My point exactly as above, B is the one who get's **** on whatever angle you look at this from. Even if C did or did not know A was partnered. Though that does add lenience towards C in my books If C did not know it's all on A.
Well now you're just being silly.
Perhaps you mean that facilitating dishonesty is a bad thing (rather than the bad thing)?
In any case, it seems a bit of a stretch to heap too much heat for relationship issues on someone being ok with getting jiggy with a person who's decided to break the monogamy of their relationship.
I knew, as did a few of us, about a friend's girlfriend getting her jollies with a third party. None of us said anything to him - were we facilitating dishonesty? Are we in the ****, morally, as much as person C?
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Bingo.
Genuinely my anger would be solely for my partner. This is assuming I don't not know C on any kind of personal level. If it's some random, then blame falls squarely on the shoulders of my partner. Or in the case of the example A.
What concern is it of C how/what B feels. C has their own life to lead, the bearing that has on B is irrelevant to C - assuming as per the OP C has no personal connection to B
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This is a rather different question, but yes, I think that's morally questionable.
Soldato
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Yes you guys are. If you aren't capable of informing a " friend " that his missus has been sneaking around behind his back then what sort of friend are you to have? Clearly your "friends" missus doesn't give a flying **** about your "friend"
Voted pancake.
So imagine being person C, if A starts pursuing C and as C you have no awareness at all of B, you cannot blame C. That said B will most likely be mad at C anyways because.... human nature. As C you could get really annoyed at A as and when C finds out about B.
If however you are C, A starts pursuing and C knows about B.... then "personally" C should go no further with A.
But man it must be harsh being C in the first situation. You might be thinking you are meeting someone nice and having some smexy times only to find out A is in fact with B.... As C I would be really really annoyed at A, "realistically" B and C have both been betrayed by A, but in reality that most likely never happens because B will always see C cheating with A... not A cheating with C.
ABC easy as 123
So imagine being person C, if A starts pursuing C and as C you have no awareness at all of B, you cannot blame C. That said B will most likely be mad at C anyways because.... human nature. As C you could get really annoyed at A as and when C finds out about B.
If however you are C, A starts pursuing and C knows about B.... then "personally" C should go no further with A.
But man it must be harsh being C in the first situation. You might be thinking you are meeting someone nice and having some smexy times only to find out A is in fact with B.... As C I would be really really annoyed at A, "realistically" B and C have both been betrayed by A, but in reality that most likely never happens because B will always see C cheating with A... not A cheating with C.
ABC easy as 123
Because it's called being a decent human being?
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This seems like a common view. My perspective is that you don't need to have a personal relationship with someone to be concerned about how your actions may affect them. This, I would hope, is common decency.
Frankly, presuming to know the ins and outs of a couple's relationship, and be a better judge of what should be allowed to go on, than one of the people in that relationship (i.e. person A) is a bit odd.
You, a C, has an A wanting to jump your bones, why would you think the relationship between A and B is worth standing aside for anyway? I can't see how you can be morally responsible for killing an already dead relationship.
And here you are playing mental gymnastics to try and justify getting your jollies.
Regardless of the state of the relationship, A and B are in one.
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The fact that the relationship exists means that I wouldn't get involved. If it really is that dead, person A can end it and then it's fair game.