Poll: As a third party, is it okay to cheat?

As person C, is it okay to sleep with person A?

  • Hell yes!

    Votes: 81 17.6%

  • No, it's wrong.

    Votes: 291 63.4%

  • Pancake.

    Votes: 87 19.0%
  • Total voters
    459
Burnsy2023 said:
I would feel let down. I expect more from my friends. I expect them to tell me I'm a *** when I'm being an *** (that does happen occasionally) because I can't be a better person without that help.
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Yeah I agree. Your best friends are the ones who will criticise you openly. I like straight talkers.
 
Burnsy2023 said:
So this basically boils down to: do you care about people you don't know. I would say that someone of sound moral character would care about people they don't know, but that's based on my morals and ethics.
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It's not like you're killing them.

You may be involved in hastening the end of their relationship, but is it really a relationship that had legs if their partner was happy to cheat on them? What exactly are you saving them from if you, as C, don't have this relationship with A?
 
Sliver said:
Yeah I agree. Your best friends are the ones who will criticise you openly. I like straight talkers.
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I choose my friends carefully. I don't care about what most people think about me, but I hold my friends in high regards, so if they tell me I'm making bad decisions then I know I need to listen to them.
 
Lifelong said:
Whilst I can understand the argument of C not being at fault, I can't say it holds up to scrutiny. Your actions always have consequences, not just on the cheated party, but indeed sometimes on the cheater themselves.

There was a girl I knew at University who cheated fairly early on, got found out, lost (at the risk of sounding odd) a lovely boyfriend, and went on to have a string of flings.

When she did get into a relationship, she was extremely suspicious and it ended abruptly, her actions had opened up a world of what people are capable off.

Anecdotal I know, but I feel comfortable just saying if you want to sleep with someone, don't do it in a relationship. Get out of the relationship and do what you want...
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the actions of C had zero impact on the this girls (A) she choose to cheat. her choice her responsibility. her actions.

this whole trying to dilute blame is utter nonsense. people need to take responsibility for their own - just their own actions -, not the combination of actions that arise.

you cheat and become a paranoid freak? shouldn't have cheated in the first place should you. how that can be the fault of the person she cheated with is beyond me
 
cheesyboy said:
It's not like you're killing them.

You may be involved in hastening the end of their relationship, but is it really a relationship that had legs if their partner was happy to cheat on them? What exactly are you saving them from if you, as C, don't have this relationship with A?
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I don't have to be killing them, it doesn't have to go to extremes.

At the end of the day, for me personally, I care about being a decent human being. I'd rather not have a one-night stand at someone else's expense.
 
Everyone decides on their own moral code. I believe many people make these calls based on what they would/wouldn't like to happen to them in a similar situation.

I wouldn't judge A, B, or C... people gonna peep.
 
If i didn't know C then i would have no reason to feel anything towards them, my hurt would be directed at A.
 
Burnsy2023 said:
I don't have to be killing them, it doesn't have to go to extremes.

At the end of the day, for me personally, I care about being a decent human being. I'd rather not have a one-night stand at someone else's expense.
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But your one night stand is only at the expense of A. Any hurt or pain to B is solely down to the actions of A looking for a one night stand.

How do you know that one night stand isn't going to lead to a life long loving relationship?
 
I've been person B, it took me a whole bottle of vodka to get over her.

I took her back for a week, just for the bedroom fun, then kicked her to the kerb again. That'll learn her!
 
Thekwango said:
But your one night stand is only at the expense of A. Any hurt or pain to B is solely down to the actions of A looking for a one night stand.
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I disagree, it always takes two to tango.

Thekwango said:
How do you know that one night stand isn't going to lead to a life long loving relationship?
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Because I can't respect someone who cheats and a life long loving relationship requires mutual respect..
 
Anyone who doesn't have the balls to end things before they decide to get intimate with someone else isn't worth the time of day, and no being drunk or it was spur of the moment isn't an excuse, have a little self control ffs. I also believe if that person is willing to cheat on their partner with you, then they are quite capable of cheating on you if it leads to a relationship.
 
Ayahuasca said:
Anyone who doesn't have the balls to end things before they decide to get intimate with someone else isn't worth the time of day, and no being drunk or it was spur of the moment isn't an excuse, have a little self control ffs. I also believe if that person is willing to cheat on their partner with you, then they are quite capable of cheating on you if it leads to a relationship.
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I think that's also a really good point. I like women who have a "high locus of control" meaning that they know that they are in control of their decisions and take responsibility for them. I wouldn't want to be with someone who can't make the right decision even if it's hard - because relationships are full of making difficult decisions.
 
fatiain said:
She then spent about 6 months chasing me, stirring up trouble with the current Mrs Faysh (who I've been with for the last 13 years) and then got married. She's left me alone since.
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How odd. Women never chase me. They tend to do the opposite. :o
 
can I ask, what are the autistic/spectrum perspectives on this? Genuine questions for some research I'm conducting.
 
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