Bit of Life Advice needed

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9 May 2009
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I am fully expecting the full backlash of the GD but I had to post this somewhere and thought this would be as good a place as any!

Some of you may remember my advice on GF thread a couple of months back and the reply that we decided to end it. Well since then I’ve obviously had a think about it and I know that it was totally the right thing to do in ending it, it was never going to work long term anyway so that really isn’t a problem here. But since then here is where I’m at and I don’t really know what to do about it

I’m 30 and have a pretty stable job, it’s not my ideal job but it pays the bills and I know I can do a lot worse. I am awaiting to complete the contract on my first home, I’m buying and it should all be tied up by mid Jan, because of that I am currently living at home. I’ve not got a massive social group / group of friends but I do have a close few that I see quite a bit and we do loads of event together ect, that’s enough for me as I’m not one to be out every night anymore anyway. It’s not like I never do anything, I’m out quite a bit.

I decided I’d give Tinder / POF a go as it would be good to get back out there and meet someone as I still wasn’t quite over the ex. I don’t even know what my plan was it was more just have a look and see what’s about, I got talking to a girl and decided to meet her. For me it was purely to go have a date, have a laugh just to move on kinda thing. Anyway the date went like 100x better than I had ever planned, we had a right laugh and got on really well, we ended the night with a hug and a full on kiss and we said we’d so something within the next few days. We arranged to go out this coming Monday, she seemed super keen until she suddenly went a bit quiet. I didn’t really think nothing of it, it’s happened to me before and I’m sure it won’t be the last time. But now she’s told me that someone she was seeing from a few months ago has got back in touch and she’s now all confused. I’ve basically said go deal with that and we’ll leave it. As much as we got on I’m not gonna be messed about, I’ve had enough of that in my lifetime. It’s a shame because I was actually really feeling it with her.

I just can’t help but feel nothing is going right for me, I know things are not all bad and there’s plenty of people worse off but it just seems to be one thing after another. My job has been so stressful over the past 5 months, the competition of my flat is just dragging on and on, I’ve already had 2 fall through and can just see it happening again. I had a load of grief with the ex and just when I think I’ve met someone who’s totally on my level it all goes wrong like 2 days after. I can’t even be bothered to try again with someone else because I don’t see the point.

It just seems to be one thing after another and I’m beginning to feel quite miserable. I’ve spoke to a couple of my friends and they seem to think I just need to pull my socks up and get on with it but it’s hard when you feel that nothing is going your way.

I’ve read a few threads on here with people in similar positions so thought I’d give this ago to see you thoughts.
 
I can’t even be bothered to try again with someone else because I don’t see the point.

It just seems to be one thing after another and I’m beginning to feel quite miserable


1. Don't bother trying then eventually something will just spark. And you will be chasing someone.

2. **** happens to all of us. Deal with it and move on.

I don't mean to sound harsh with those words but what else is there to do? Siting in a chair feeling sorry for yourself is not going to help you in anyway. And will only make meeting someone harder.
 
If you meet someone on tinder what can you expect? It's easy come, easy go. Either use it for sex, or if you want another serious relationship, use another means of finding someone.

Seriously, how can anyone be upset/confused by someone they meet on tinder messing them about.
 
If you meet someone on tinder what can you expect? It's easy come, easy go. Either use it for sex, or if you want another serious relationship, use another means of finding someone.

Seriously, how can anyone be upset/confused by someone they meet on tinder messing them about.

its not the tinder bit, its all of it, thats just a example that nothing seems to work out. its more than just meeting someone thats just the bulk of the txt, just seems to be everything
 
1. Don't bother trying then eventually something will just spark. And you will be chasing someone.

2. **** happens to all of us. Deal with it and move on..

These two points pretty much sum it up, bad luck seems to come in groups of things, last year my mrs wrote off a car and our house was broken into and burgled on the same day.

If you let everything that happens to you in life kick you in the nuts and get you down you would end up spending half of your life down in the dumps. Bad things happen to good people all the time. The trick is to keep your chin up, keep plugging away and enjoy the good times when they come.
 
So you are 30 years old, had some girls come and go, got a good job, own your own home, have a family willing to take care of you and have some close friends......

Life sounds quite nice to me.

Go out, make new friends, do some sports, new as many girls as you can and just be happy. Your cup is more than half full by the sounds of it.
 
So you are 30 years old, had some girls come and go, got a good job, own your own home, have a family willing to take care of you and have some close friends......

Life sounds quite nice to me.

Go out, make new friends, do some sports, new as many girls as you can and just be happy. Your cup is more than half full by the sounds of it.

Yeah that is pretty much the case. Cup probably is half full just hard to see it that way at the moment thats the problem.
 
Yeah that is pretty much the case. Cup probably is half full just hard to see it that way at the moment thats the problem.

Honestly its easy to get down from time to time.

What makes you happy or brings your confidence up?

I had huge life chances at the start of the year and did get down from time to time but I always try and remind my self that actually my life could be a lot worse and I fill my time with people and doing things I enjoy.
 
Honestly its easy to get down from time to time.

What makes you happy or brings your confidence up?

I had huge life chances at the start of the year and did get down from time to time but I always try and remind my self that actually my life could be a lot worse and I fill my time with people and doing things I enjoy.

I enjoy going to watch football which i do every week anyway (well every home game) i love live music and ive been to quite a few gigs in the past couple of weeks. Im fine when im doing all those things its just when im not and start to think about things.

Think it might just be beacuse work is super busy this time of year and thats stressful and im not having the best of luck with females the past couple of months either. Just all getting to me a bit.
 
Think it might just be beacuse work is super busy this time of year and thats stressful and im not having the best of luck with females the past couple of months either. Just all getting to me a bit.

This could by why you feel down, I know when I had a bit of a dry spell I some how started to feel a bit down.

Hit lots of online dating / apps and just have has as much "fun" as you can. If you have trouble with girls read some PUA / self improvement stuff, don't take it as gospel but some of the tips can really help up your game.

www.reddit.com/r/seduction

After you start having a lot of success with girls it could really bring up your self confidence.

Hit the Gym it my also help.
 
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Out of interest, do you exercise? I can get pretty down occasionally as I live s long way from family and close friends. I find several good runs and gym sessions a week and I very rarely feel low these days. Give it a crack if not, even just a half hour jog a few times in the evening make a massive difference.
 
Dr house - it may be that i dunno, i dont have that much trouble but i dont go out "on the pull" enough to meet anyone the "normal" way really, a lot of my mates are all settled now. im giving the sites ago but they are just so hit and miss

I walk to and from work (30 mins each each way) a few times a week and walk to most places if i can instead of driving, thats about it in way of exercise. i did go gym but i stopped because work got busy and because i was seeing someone lol
 
Honest I don't think I ever manage to pick up girls in bars at night, its just not in me.

But in coffee shops, lunch time, just out and about its really not hard.

try going to local meet ups for things you are interested in.
 
Honest I don't think I ever manage to pick up girls in bars at night, its just not in me.

But in coffee shops, lunch time, just out and about its really not hard.

try going to local meet ups for things you are interested in.

Gettin' em when they least expect it :p
 
To the OP - basically she was using you to get her ex back by making him jealous. I had it the other month by unexpectedly going out with someone and we had a great time then a few days later we couldn't meet because she had got back with her ex.....
 
If you feel yourself a little 'stale' put yourself out of your comfort zone and have some fun....

e.g. I volunteered to marshal at a music festival because I wanted to go to one but none of my friends did because they had families etc. Or try speed dating or something for a laugh? I keep thinking about doing that just for a laugh and see what happens as I don't like POF and I don't get Tinder lol....
 
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