Buying a house with girlfriend ?

Mrs Cheesyboy (Mrs Cheesyboy-to-be, as she was then) paid about 80% of the deposit on our first house, albeit that was only about £8k vs £2k. We still went in 50:50.

Whilst that worked out fine, I'm not sure it would have if the reason for my lower contribution had simply been that I was crap at saving. That sort of irresponsible financial control can cause issues down the line. The reality was that she earned quite a bit more than me at the time, and had been working for longer since finishing uni.

OP: is she bad at saving, or does she just not earn much? It's easy to save loads when you earn more - being a low earner and failing to save doesn't make you "bad at saving".
 
You have to remember however nice and civil things are now if you did split it would turn nasty 95% of the time (from experience). Get a lawyer to draw up a trust deed so your deposit contribution is protected and then you both pay 50% of the mortgage payments so anything else is 50/50.

I'd also have a long chat with her about financial responsibility if you are going to buy a place together, have children, marry etc and she can't save any money in a year!
 
Just echoing what others have said really, I wouldn't be buying a house with someone who seems to have very little responsibility with money.

My friend has just gone 50/50 on a house with a girl he's been with a year and I thought that was mad.
 
I had this recently for my long term 9 year girlfriend.

I paid the full deposit, i have paid the rent for the last 9 years, and i now pay the mortgage.

But I needed her earnings to buy, and she makes contributions by paying for shopping, and paying for the council tax.

I was a bit like most people on here, like shes not done anything, but her earnings are much less so its not like she could put together the money i did. We moved and now shes expecting my two children (twins) so i am pleased she is on the mortgage.

Do what it right for you both, how long have you been together? and why is she so silly @? with her money. Does not sound that committed if she cant save even a little bit? take it she lives at home with the rents?
 
I will be in a similar situaiton myself soon. Been with my gf 8 years, will br putting a depsoit down on a share to buy flat. I have been out of uni and working full time 4 years longer and my parents will also help with legal fees. Mortgage and bills will be split 50/50.
 
well the deposit for my house was found 70% by me and 30% by my wife.

The mortgage is in my sole name only, as my wife is being made redundant in March so we were unable to use her salary towards the % loan and a sole application was better for me. as its higher overall value I could borrow.

I have no plan to draft up any kind of legal document showing who owns what % etc.

My wife doesn't care either, at the end of the day the bills and mortgage will be paid between us, we are not counting the monies we pay in each, to have to do this shows a big lack of trust in a relationship, if you cannot trust the person enough to NOT need to create documents etc, then you SHOULD not be buying a house together.
 
All women are psychos when you split and will look to screw you over at the first opportunity when you split. They will seek to clean you out.

So you need to protect your self against this eventuality.
 
Locky said:
All women are psychos when you split and will look to screw you over at the first opportunity when you split. They will seek to clean you out.

So you need to protect your self against this eventuality.
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To be honest mate, with the sorts of posts and threads we get in this place when things go south, I'm not convinced that the men are any less psycho than the women.
 
Locky said:
I would say the percentage of psycho women is higher :D
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I would agree.

Men go off the rails a bit when they are kicked out of the house, have to continue paying the bills and the ex moves in a new "dad". But I digress :D
 
Not quite the same situation, but I moved into my girlfriends about 3 months ago. She already owns the house. I pay nothing towards the house, and know that it is therefore entirely hers. I pay all bills etc, and we halve food between us.
 
Yep. The man gets a bag of clothes about thats about it. You get your kids turned against you, kicked out the house you bought and paid for and only allowed to see your kids once every 2 weeks. They will continue to take most of your earnings too.

Moral of the story is protect yourself from things like this at the start, as relationships don't last forever (some may do)
 
FirebarUK said:
IMHO "keeping things separate" is a mentality which doesn't have a place in marriage. Sure, I certainly know things can and do go wrong but I'd rather be all-in, taking things seriously and committing mutually (even in finance) than hedging my bets.

Just can't imagine it any other way, I guess you have to find someone like-minded.
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The ideal way is to have a house each...That way you can stay over when ever you want...She can do the same but you also get a place to chill and have a man cave.

I see no reason why people feel the need to rush into being under each others noses 24/7

As of the OP his GF is contributing diddly squat anyway so its not like he needs her financially or anything.

I understand that sharing 50/50 is needed though for most due to house prices...But that's the only time really.

As when it goes sour. The women will drag your guts out drag them across the floor and use an abuse every inch of your soul.
 
Richdog said:
The OP isn't married, so your post has no relevance in that context.

And as "like-minded" as you want to believe people are, if things go wrong and you end up divorced, then that "like-minded" person can quickly change from the rose-tinted view you had before.

Yeah sure, you get married thinking it will be forever and you will never split up, I understand the romantic notions, but it really doesn't hurt to have some sensible lines and contingencies drawn, and it's generally only ignorance/naivety which makes separations so much worse than they have to be.
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... because many of the posts after this are in the context of marriage, hence me bringing it up.

You call out naivety and suggest it's wishy-washy but it's a very unfair of you to denigrate it like this. I look around at many who really share everything financially without any form of legal agreement (regardless of who is earning etc.) and are still happily married 10, 20, 30, 40, 50 years and more.

Heck, why get married then? If folks don't value the principles, why bother?

Still, back to the OP I think you should wait before buying something, go rent together for a while if you are that way inclined.
 
I wouldn't entertain this other than either:

The house is in your name only and she is a lodger

or

You lend her half the deposit - with a formally drawn up contract and clear repayment terms (the mortgage payment would be a good amount). This way, in theory if you split, she would still owe you the outstanding amount from anything she got out of the house.

Of course the above is irrelevant if she decides to get pregnant, because then you're screwed regardless.

Also agree with the above post - if you haven't lived together before, then rent somewhere for a while before committing to buying somewhere*


* If you're buying in your name only with her as a lodger then this isn't such an issue, as you could just kick her out if it all goes wrong
 
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