Coping with a Smoking teenager in a non smoking house !

Kids, just like adults don't like being told what they can and cannot do and since this is your son he has that sense of family impunity. I get that you don't want him to smoke at all but people who are stupid enough to start smoking aren't likely to quit because someone else wants them too.

So it's either find a way to accommodate his smoking like going outside or play the hard line and give ultimatums like finding some where else to live, and if he's already rebellious as you suggested then he'd probably take this route and you've lost a son.
 
MINUS12 said:
I feel like he's on a downward spiral and will eventually turn towards illegal drugs etc
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Not wanting to go all technical on you but at 16 he can't buy cigarettes legally, can't buy booze legally and I'm pretty sure no one can buy weed legally in the UK. So its hardly eventually is it. He's already there.
 
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Or rather, your child does
 
cheesyboy said:
Mostly logic and reason, to be honest.

I avoid committing crimes because I fear the consequences meted out by the court, rather than because I fear being physically harmed by the government's hired muscle.
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The court itself is not going to come and arrest you and drag you off to prison. Would you care about the court at all if its will was not enforced by "hired muscle"..?
 
Chuck some timber, hammer & nails on the garden and tell him to build his own smoke hut as smoking in the house is Verbotten.

But really this is all a symptom of the way WE have allowed society to go --> food for another topic !
 
Thompson_NCL said:
The court itself is not going to come and arrest you and drag you off to prison. Would you care about the court at all if its will was not enforced by "hired muscle"..?
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Yes, because my worry about the repercussions starts some way short of the restriction of liberty that incarceration would bring.

I would lose my job, then lose my house, and would not be able to provide for my family. All because of such a conviction.
 
MINUS12 said:
To be honest the housing association have been very slow due to massive waiting lists , so I will have to think of other alternatives . Rent prices are very high in more residential areas and to move to other areas with lower rent means compromise ie: living in rough areas , high crime areas , chavvy kids , etc and I don't want my children or myself around this ..

It all started when my son at 12 started stealing and constantly lying even though we treated him very well but I now realised less is more ...since that our relationship deteriorated due to lack of trust and disrespect and I guess this is when things started to go downhill ..

To clarify as of recent times he isn't smoking in the house anymore I think (possibly out of the window as we can't monitor 24/7 ) but smoking outside over friends houses but still comes home wreaking of tobacco .. Btw The clothes in the bag trick worked wonders for the smell and he wasn't impressed to say the least :D
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He is 16 and rebellious. You need to realise that some kids go through a stage of being a dicc head for a while, and hopefully he will snap out of it in a few years time. I was pretty bad at that age myself, and I doubt my own father was an angel having heard some of his tales.

Sharing with a 6 year old sister though, that is doing nobody any favours. He would probably be better off having a sofa bed in the lounge.
 
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Tell him if he can afford to smoke he can afford to move out. Stop paying for the habit you are concerned about. I was about to suggest moving your daughter into your room for her safety. Take all the things out of his bedroom except the bed and clothes.
 
cheesyboy said:
Yes, because my worry about the repercussions starts some way short of the restriction of liberty that incarceration would bring.

I would lose my job, then lose my house, and would not be able to provide for my family. All because of such a conviction.
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:rolleyes:

The courts would have no authority if it wasn't for the threat of force being used to enforce their will. Every case would be in absentia, since only an idiot would go to court if no one was going to make them go otherwise.
 
+1 for compromise... Like many I went through a phase of smoking etc. at around that age (probably closer to 17/18 though) and my parents just clearly explained that they weren't happy about the smoking but it was my choice and since it was their house not mine as long as I lived in it I would have to smoke in the garden...

As for smelling of smoke I think they'd just point it out to me sometimes to make a point about it... and I can vaguely recall my mum aggressively spraying me and my room with Febreeze all the time :p
 
NooBish AbbZ said:
Course you can. Stop smoking in the house or move out :)
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I doubt he would volunteer to leave and you shouldn't really be kicking them out before they're 18 unless they have serious issues with drugs and/or violence.

Smoking a bit of weed doesn't qualify.

Weed is an odd thing, some people who use it turn into well rounded individuals and others become completely dependent on the stuff and move on harder drugs.

I'd flush the stuff down the toilet. :D
 
You cant associate one drug with all other drugs. I know many people who smoke weed and lead perfectly good balanced lives, including SWIM.

Kicking him out if he develops serious drug problems will make life easier for you but much much worse for him. If it becomes serious, all the more reason not to kick them out or they have literately nothing to turn to but their chemical escape from their sucky normal life.
 
Job is a great idea, if he wont grow up for your sake or for his sake, he will certainly do it for moneys sake. The amount of wasters i saw forcibly grow up within a short period due to having to face real life work is astounding.
 
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