Is 3 days of zero contact with someone you are seeing acceptable?

krooton

krooton

krooton

Caporegime
Joined
9 May 2004
Posts
28,780
Location
Leafy outskirts of London
A 2 answer poll would be great please:

In most cases, no (death of a family member, and other such extremes excluded)
Yes

I'll set the scene. My house-mate has been seeing a guy for 3 months. They went away together to Scotland for Easter, and for the first few months of the relationship he was really communicative, they see each-other frequently, and all the normal, early-relationship stuff and were happy together.

Since the Easter together, his comms have shut down considerably, with absolutely zero comms by any means over Fri/Sat/Sun.

Personally, I think that is not on at all. Even if it had been pre-empted (I'm going hiking in the Alps and won't have reception, etc) that would be better, but he hasn't even acknowledged the radio-silence. I'm not saying he should apologise, but to not even think for a second that someone you have been intimately seeing for 3 months might get a bit upset if you just blank them for 3 days screams emotionally stunted manbaby to me.

Thus I turn to the largest collective of emotionally stunted manbabies I know, OCUK, what say you? :D
 
It could be many reasons, but on balance it's not a good sign.

I'd wager he's checking out of the relationship and is taking the coward's way out.

Either he's got reservations about the relationship or he's taken an interest in someone else. It could be possible he has issues and is being very immature, but either way the result is the same.

My opinion: she should back off too. If he doesn't make an effort to rectify, he's not invested anymore, in which case she should break it off and find someone that will treat her better. She needs to set some clear boundaries or he's just going to walk all over her.
 
Perhaps you do not know the full story. There's no way I'd trust one person's side when it comes to relationships without hearing the other because most of the time they will be leaving some info out.

And by the way, going NC (no contact) works wonders sometimes, depending on the situation. :p
 
Diddums said:
Please tell me I'm not the only one who sees the irony of this post.
Click to expand...

lol! Indeed.

She just explained it all to me and another house-mate, I gave my male opinion, other house-mate gave her female one, and I said I'd ask a big group of online dudes what they thought. :p

For the record, he's 29 and she's 33, so it's not silly teenager stuff either.

He only got in touch today when she messaged him, and he didn't even mention in passing that they hadn't been in contact for that long, no apology/excuse/acknowledgment, which to me seems a bit weird. They are meeting up tomorrow, and he is acting like nothing is different.
 
He was testing the water to see if she would contact him first, called playing games.

She did, so he knows he's wearing the trousers (at least in his head that's what he's thinking).
 
Could be a number of things.

A) accident, he's unable to make contact
B) Broken/lost/stolen phone
C) He's spending time with his wife and kids
D) He's having a sex change op
E) She farted in her sleep while in Scotland and the smell was so bad he's decided to end it now
F) They killed someone while they were there and now he can't face her due to the guilt
G) He's being a coward
H) Something else that's taking priority over a 3 month relationship
I) He's dead!
 
Why all the fuss about it? Your housemate seems naive. It's like she wants this guy to be something he isn't. She should be grateful she knows where he stands so leave him be. Stay in contact if you want, trust him, joke with him, whatever, but don't try to change this man or expect him to be something he isn't.
 
Why are we dancing around the topic here? Krooton clearly wants to smash that pasty so start advising as such.
 
Maybe he is returning some video tapes? It takes a while nowadays! It's normal for Alpha males and maybe she did something wrong and she needs time to think about her mistake ;)

Once I was in the shower for 6 days! The life of a mysterious man.
 
Tosno said:
Maybe he is returning some video tapes? It takes a while nowadays! It's normal for Alpha males and maybe she did something wrong and she needs time to think about her mistake ;)

Once I was in the shower for 6 days! The life of a mysterious man.
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He clearly went out for a pack of cigarettes ;)
 
asim18 said:
Why all the fuss about it? Your housemate seems naive. It's like she wants this guy to be something he isn't. She should be grateful she knows where he stands so leave him be. Stay in contact if you want, trust him, joke with him, whatever, but don't try to change this man or expect him to be something he isn't.
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So the first 2.5 months of him being a great caring guy aren't actually who he is, and he was just playing her? The same guy who said he doesn't understand why some guys plays games? She's not trying to change him, just trying to understand why he has changed himself :p
 
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