Where we perhaps part company is when you say the EU isn't the cause of our biggest problems. Indeed, it probably isn't, but that doesn't imply we should just stay in because the biggest problems lie elsewhere.Yes, I totally agree. There should have been a referendum around the time of Maastricht or Lisbon. It would have set a clear mandate and back then I think Remain would likely have won.
In the 90s and early 2000s Euroscepticism hadn't reached the peak it now has and there was a different economic and social climate, more hopeful, less inward looking. Brexit seems born of a more desperate pressure for change, any change. There's hope too of course, but a more blind hope, a sense of 'anything must be better than this'. Be careful what you wish for IMO.
The problem I have with the "you lost, deal with it, move on" agenda is that I don't fundamentally think that Brexit will bring the change people desire, so I'm finding it hard to deal with it on that basis. Not because I believe in a federal Europe (I don't) but because I don't think the EU is fundamentally the cause of the biggest problems this country faces.
Unless the rampant inequality and disenfranchisement that runs deep through this country is tackled then things can only get more ugly for the UK, whether in or out of the EU. And yes I know what Theresa May said in her inaugural speech about making Britain fairer, I just don't buy it and will take a lot of convincing. Initial signs aren't great, with plans afoot for a variable regional minimum wage, possible minimum wage waivers for some businesses and the government stalling the EU Development Fund payments and not giving any reassurances about replacing the EU funds going to poorer areas and much needed research.
We have a numbrr of problems, from debt levels to over-reliance on consumer spending, to productivity issues, to an unbalanced economy, and more.
The issue with the EU is that it's not any single issue, but a collection of them, and only part of the set is even about the economy.