Am I being unreasonable?

[The-Plethora]

I did look at this thread title and initially think do what you like! But I have to agree it's worth playing things a little more sensible. You had to get a loan initially because you could not afford to buy a £7500 car. Looking to borrow more than twice is perhaps not quite a great move.
If I personally had even 10K to spend on a car I would probably buy something older, faster and more fun than that BMW.

I'm not trying to give you grief but you never know what life will throw at you and I say this as someone who had over 14K of credit card debts at some point and was barely covering the minimum each month, I learnt my lesson.

 

[IvanDobskey]

Hang on, the op only does 3k a year?

That 20k car will be sat depreciating on the drive most of the time!

And the car is a 1 series BMW?

Craziest thread I have ever read.

How about getting something cheaper, faster and more fun?

 

[no_1_dave]

Sounds like the OP has made his decision already and is trying to justify it or get a little bit of justification from others.

If you lived on your own then I'd say go for it. However, you do not live on your own. You have a wife and child that will be affected. If you're willing to give up your wife and daughter so that you can have a BMW then you don't deserve them imo, so should do it anyway. Once you live on your own and have your BMW I bet you regret it...

 

[KhalPanda]

Ask the same question on Pistonheads for a stark contrast to the general tone of replies here.

In all seriousness, sounds like you need a cheap, sensible, day-to-day car, then a (less than £20k) toy car. Lots of fun to be have for ~£5-10k.

 

[wildman]

buy a ford cortina for 20 quid, job done

 

[boxman2000]

Are you being unreasonable?

Yes.

Uh hu!

It's only a car at the end of the day and, let's be honest, it's probably mostly down to pride in owning a nice car, I know, I've been there. I am into my cars, like, REALLY into my cars and I had to sell my pride and joy before my daughter came along in order to get work done on the house (as no way did we want issues we were living with to be still there with a baby about).

My Saturday mornings used to be spent cleaning my car, once a month I would claybar, seal and wax the car; I'd spend ages researching the best parts for it and ended up spending a small fortune on it (not to the point of getting into debt). It got to a point that I caught myself spending at least a week of my evenings online trying to source the best washer nozzles to replace the standard ones.

I then grew up and realised that not only are cars a money pit but that there were FAR more important things to be doing with my life. It is only a car at the end of the day bud - hardly worth getting into arguments over.

I have now gone from a limited edition Japanese imported Evo 9GT (my perfect car) with an extra ~£20k of modifications, 0.60 in 3.2 seconds, to a 1 litre, 3 cylinder Skoda CitiGo. If I can do it, you certainly can. Actually thinking about it I went from the Evo to a £700 rusty piece of rubbish that was a Daihatsu Hijet.

All due respect, and no I don’t know you or your circumstances, but it sounds like you need to man up and grow up a bit.



To



Do I regret it? No. Would I like another? No as my priorities are completely different now.

 

[mbmbmb]

The crazy thing is how many people are looking at the £20k price when it's irrelevant.
I'd rather see him buy a £20k car that will depreciate little, on great great credit terms, than he bought a £7k car that's worth bugger all in a couple of years at 15% which comes with no warranty.

 

[boxman2000]

The crazy thing is how many people are looking at the £20k price when it's irrelevant.
I'd rather see him buy a £20k car that will depreciate little, on great great credit terms, than he bought a £7k car that's worth bugger all in a couple of years at 15% which comes with no warranty.

But willing to get into debt to the tune of the best part of £20k? For a car.

It's got to be comfortably affordable and also it does raise a more common issue (particularly with married couples) and that is having separate bank accounts etc... should all be from the same pot IMO. Get's around these issues.

What's mine is hers and what's hers is mine (well, the last bit is probably what she lets me think anyway!)

 

[insane200]

I gave up my car not long after we had kids, so i now have the pleasure of driving a C4 with flappy paddles and a T5 work van.

I love looking at cars for sale on AT and dreaming about it, but thats it for now, just a dream, getting to the point of almost divorcing for a car is just crazy and a bit selfish in my opinion.

 

[subbytna]

Only read the first post but 20k on a second hand car is asking for wifey trouble. We got a 2nd hand Ibiza estate for 9k. Why not get a sensible car?

 

[Richdog]

The crazy thing is how many people are looking at the £20k price when it's irrelevant.
I'd rather see him buy a £20k car that will depreciate little, on great great credit terms, than he bought a £7k car that's worth bugger all in a couple of years at 15% which comes with no warranty.

It that's what you really think then you do not have a balanced perspective. What about him a actually buying a decent 7k-10k family car which will also not depreciate significantly over 3 years and that more importantly doesn't involve double (or more) the debt?

It's not really rocket science.

 

[mbmbmb]

Debt and cost of debt are 2 entirely different things.

There are thousands of scenarios where he could spend half as much on a car that end up costing the family significantly more.

For those on a budget, a 20k 3yr old 1 series AUC is a great intercept point between newness/warranty and depreciation curve to consider, not a 135i of course but everyone seems focused on the ticket price when there are loads of factors that should be looked at before this.

 

[VincentHanna]

Did you miss the bit where he is only doing 3000 miles a year?

 

[mbmbmb]

Did you miss the bit where he is only doing 3000 miles a year?

Which part of my statement does his mileage conflict with? If he was tying up £20k of asset that would be different.

 

[dowie]

if she spends 160 on a car + 40 to charity (total 200) then it would be more reasonable for you to spend 200 a month on a car rather than 300-something (valid points re: reliability, depreciation etc.. made above also ought to be considered when deciding which actual car to buy too)

frankly I'm not a big fan of buying things like cars on finance (well at least new cars) regardless as they often depreciate rapidly initially and rates are often a bit naff. I think you'd be better off buying second hand and using a credit card if finance is really needed (see sites like money saving expert if you're unfamiliar with how these can be used to get low or zero interest loans)

I'd also not see much point in overpaying a mortgage given current low interest rates but rather stick what would be an overpayment into a high rate current account or other savings/investments

I mean it seems you're currently overpaying a low interest rate loan (mortgage) while simultaneously needing finance to buy a car (which presumably is at a higher rate than your mortgage which you're overpaying) - that doesn't make sense... generally a better idea to be minimizing (or even eliminating) the higher rate loans first.

 

[Rich1988]

Bit of both really, if you are bringing in a significantly higher amount of money then you should, without reprise be able to treat yourself a bit. However, 20k is a lot of money to finance, you effectively share debts when you are married and I wouldn't feel comfortable with my OH having that kind of debt. also surely it's a little unfair to have a massive thing like a new car for yourself when your wife gets nothing (just a thought).

I would say, get a new car but try and halve the amount you spend, there are plenty of fun, quick cars for that kind of money (and less!).

 

[matt_fsr]

So... thread turned out not to be what OP was expecting?

Yeah, that's unreasonable - would you consider it reasonable if your wife wanted to take out a loan to blow £20k on clothes and shoes?

I'm a mountain biker, but thinking back over my current £3k bike, my previous £1.5k bike, the one before that was £1.2k, and the one before that £750... takes me back about 10 years, and I've had a LOT of fun from them, and that's a total spend of £6.5k roughly, not including return costs from selling them.

By all means, be a 'car' man, and buy something a bit interesting with 5 doors and some practicality, but for heaven's sake don't buy a 1 series BMW on finance for £20k!

Maybe time to face some actual real facts, but you have grown up, you have procreated and made a child, and your decisions now need to consider what's best for your child, and massive arguments over something so relatively small in life aren't a good thing.

 

[mbmbmb]

*unless it's 1 year old, £5k below book, on 5 years 0% with 2 years warranty and a service pack

 

[LiE]

You're married now, and have a kid. You have to consider things in this context not just "me". Sometimes this means being sensible and putting the family needs first.

 

[413x]

Could you not get a 200 sx, old golf gti or mk 1 mx5 for a toy car ? 20k is steep for a toy motor

This is my suggestion.
I personally wouldn't find a car that fits both family and fun... Fun.
Cheap cars are far from boring. Karts are more fun than anything. If you considered going down the two cheap cars route you have so much more flexibility to get something truly fun,.

I don't think I could give up my toy car. Its my own car and I would be resentful if I had to give it up.