Fair enough. You're right, it's not the same as seeing each other in person. But distance changes things. I expect you'll both find yourselves wanting to hear each other's voices on the phone, no matter how independent and self-reliant you are. Distance is a state of mind, not the actual miles between you.
Long distance relationship advice
- Thread starter kissenger
- Start date
Fair enough. You're right, it's not the same as seeing each other in person. But distance changes things. I expect you'll both find yourselves wanting to hear each other's voices on the phone, no matter how independent and self-reliant you are. Distance is a state of mind, not the actual miles between you.
100% this.
I'd go as far as to say that I've spoken to my partner, both text and calls, more since they've been away than we ever did before then.
Associate
- Joined
- 18 Jan 2012
- Posts
- 28
My now Mrs lived in Alaska when we got together. Only saw each every 6 months for the first couple of years. As a previous poster said, if you love each other enough you can get through it. Skype and a webcam mean you can see each other and talk as often as you want.
It's enough distance to make it different.
If it only costs 30 for the trip you could easily split it and see each other 3 weekends a month.
Agree there isn't much point during the week.
It shouldn't break anything, but I would understand your concern
If it only costs 30 for the trip you could easily split it and see each other 3 weekends a month.
Agree there isn't much point during the week.
It shouldn't break anything, but I would understand your concern
The job originally looked like it would be permanent and she was going to move down with me, but with it being a 1 year contract I will probably have to move again in a year so it's not fair on her.
She would most likely be able to find a job but in her field it would reflect badly on her to move on so quickly. She also has financial commitments she has to think about, so even if she did move and I then had to move again in 12 months, what if she can't find a job wherever I end up? She would be stuck in Exeter far from her family and friends and boyfriend.
Jeez I've spent longer getting home from work on occasion. It's not far, aim for every weekend. The odd text during the day and bed time phone call won't hurt either. No need for huge long conversations, most chicks will fill the time with babble anyway.
Not really long distance is it lets be honest, Exeter to Birmingham is only about 3 hours max.
I was stationed in Germany for 2.5 years with the RAF while the wife stayed in the UK as there no jobs available for civilian nurses as the unit was closing down.
That was a 12hour drive from the unit I was at to my front door in Cornwall.
I was stationed in Germany for 2.5 years with the RAF while the wife stayed in the UK as there no jobs available for civilian nurses as the unit was closing down.
That was a 12hour drive from the unit I was at to my front door in Cornwall.
If she is the one and you guys are planning to get married etc then you will work it out. As others have said it's for a year and it's not all that far between you.
If it doesn't work out in that time, then maybe it's not meant to be
If it doesn't work out in that time, then maybe it's not meant to be
I would target every weekend, I have been with my GF 2 years now and through that time I have always worked away during the week, at least now I am in the country.
Currently Im in Midlands Mon-Fri and she is south coast. We use to alternate who came up but since christmas I have been goign down every weekend as we are looking at houses.
One thing I will say is plan your social life well. Luckily our social circles are the same, but one Saturday night at your mates while she is at home can end up with 2 weeks of barely any contact.
One item we find difficult is stag do and Hen do, as these very often cross we ended up with a period of not seeing each other for a month just because of the way the dates fall. Not the end of the world but something to plan for.
Also being a contractor do you have set hours? If not work your 40 hours through the week and leave earlier on the Friday to compensate the drive.
Currently Im in Midlands Mon-Fri and she is south coast. We use to alternate who came up but since christmas I have been goign down every weekend as we are looking at houses.
One thing I will say is plan your social life well. Luckily our social circles are the same, but one Saturday night at your mates while she is at home can end up with 2 weeks of barely any contact.
One item we find difficult is stag do and Hen do, as these very often cross we ended up with a period of not seeing each other for a month just because of the way the dates fall. Not the end of the world but something to plan for.
Also being a contractor do you have set hours? If not work your 40 hours through the week and leave earlier on the Friday to compensate the drive.
Surely you'd just travel home Friday after work, then travel back either Sunday night or Monday early morning? It's only 3 hours.
Deleted member 66701
Deleted member 66701
I started going out with a girl when I was 21 and she was 17. She went to uni for 4 years a year after that and stayed at uni halls for the first year, so we only saw each other occasionally.
We've been married 13 years week on Tuesday.
We've been married 13 years week on Tuesday.
Soldato
- Joined
- 1 Dec 2003
- Posts
- 3,529
if its only for a year you will be able to make it work, but it will be hard for much longer than that.
i've been doing it for just over a year and steam is running out.
phone calls are boring now and meeting up is doable but bit awkward at times.
i always envy my mates who all found partners living in the same town or close by. all fell into place for them
i've been doing it for just over a year and steam is running out.
phone calls are boring now and meeting up is doable but bit awkward at times.
i always envy my mates who all found partners living in the same town or close by. all fell into place for them
It's all relative my friend. When I was 18 I met a girl and we dated for 2 years. She had to move to New Zealand with her parents... Literally couldn't be further away xD
We kept it up for almost a year. I went over there once after 3 months and she came over shortly after that. It just didn't work out in the end But I really don't think the distance made that much of a difference. We just sort of fell apart in the end. Mostly down to trust issues. At the end of the day it's going to happen then it'll happen regardless of the compromises you might have to make. You'll either fight for your relationship or you won't.
We kept it up for almost a year. I went over there once after 3 months and she came over shortly after that. It just didn't work out in the end But I really don't think the distance made that much of a difference. We just sort of fell apart in the end. Mostly down to trust issues. At the end of the day it's going to happen then it'll happen regardless of the compromises you might have to make. You'll either fight for your relationship or you won't.