The OcUK Relationship Counselling and Hugs Thread

Ummm does he really have to be "new Dad" ?

Might well be they have a perfectly good one already :)

Might well be that he's a mentally unbalanced psycho as well like.
 
Thanks for the responses guys. The dates going ahead, I can't be a **** and pull out now. I will try and find out more about how often the dad sees the kids, if at all. I do want children but that's not gonna happen is it with her so I'm kinda resounding to the fact I won't have any....I'm 33 I still have time, if she blows me away we will see, if not I might just pass. Will let you know how it went on Fri.
 
lakitu said:
Thanks for the responses guys. The dates going ahead, I can't be a **** and pull out now. I will try and find out more about how often the dad sees the kids, if at all. I do want children but that's not gonna happen is it with her so I'm kinda resounding to the fact I won't have any....I'm 33 I still have time, if she blows me away we will see, if not I might just pass. Will let you know how it went on Fri.
Click to expand...

Have fun. :)

are_you_ready_for_the___hurricane___gif_by_abunchofzombies-d4lz74l.gif
 
MaX_PoWah said:
That's a strange outlook above.. easy way out of having them? what by looking after someone else's kids ? albeit one half of them (as so to speak) belongs to the person your dating ?
Click to expand...

Having them yourself, I clearly meant.

Not going through a pregnancy with a partner and then dealing with the first few years of having a child, which can be the most difficult on a relationship etc.

It's not a strange outlook at all, I did say if it was on the basis lakitu didn't want children himself - it actually makes more sense if you don't want to go through that. If we assume most women want to have children, that is. This particular date has already gone through that stage of their lives.
 
lakitu said:
Thanks for the responses guys. The dates going ahead, I can't be a **** and pull out now. I will try and find out more about how often the dad sees the kids, if at all. I do want children but that's not gonna happen is it with her so I'm kinda resounding to the fact I won't have any....I'm 33 I still have time, if she blows me away we will see, if not I might just pass. Will let you know how it went on Fri.
Click to expand...

Take the opinions here with a pinch of salt. I've personally known people who have had relationships with kids involved and things have been fine, others not. It depends on so many things and you'll find those out by getting to know her.

Unless she brings the kids to the date on Friday and says Kids, meet your new dad then stop thinking about it.
 
Just felt like posting this one today. I met a lass 8 years ago when I signed up to one of those dodgy dating sites after reading a thread on OcUK whilst utterly smashed following a night out with a few mates in the local town centre (used to be a big thread, can't find it now)

I didn't even remember signing up to it the day after until I noticed I was getting message alerts in my gmail account, she messaged me on day 3 of being on the site to take the **** out of my rambling profile going on about how I like old cars, I hate flying & I hated my job at the time.

Anyway, we get married tomorrow (3rd Sep) so cheers OcUK! :D

Not just that but I introduced one of her friends to a fellow OcUK user and they have been together for a fair few years now too, your turn next loltim !
 
Iamzod said:
Just felt like posting this one today. I met a lass 8 years ago when I signed up to one of those dodgy dating sites after reading a thread on OcUK whilst utterly smashed following a night out with a few mates in the local town centre (used to be a big thread, can't find it now)

I didn't even remember signing up to it the day after until I noticed I was getting message alerts in my gmail account, she messaged me on day 3 of being on the site to take the **** out of my rambling profile going on about how I like old cars, I hate flying & I hated my job at the time.

Anyway, we get married tomorrow (3rd Sep) so cheers OcUK! :D

Not just that but I introduced one of her friends to a fellow OcUK user and they have been together for a fair few years now too, your turn next loltim !
Click to expand...

Congrats mate, I personally have just gotten engaged to a very lovely lady who I met on one of those dodgey dating sites and couldn't be happier!
 
Iamzod said:
Just felt like posting this one today. I met a lass 8 years ago when I signed up to one of those dodgy dating sites after reading a thread on OcUK whilst utterly smashed following a night out with a few mates in the local town centre (used to be a big thread, can't find it now)

I didn't even remember signing up to it the day after until I noticed I was getting message alerts in my gmail account, she messaged me on day 3 of being on the site to take the **** out of my rambling profile going on about how I like old cars, I hate flying & I hated my job at the time.

Anyway, we get married tomorrow (3rd Sep) so cheers OcUK! :D

Not just that but I introduced one of her friends to a fellow OcUK user and they have been together for a fair few years now too, your turn next loltim !
Click to expand...

Congrats. The online dating thread got pulled, I'm not sure why.
 
Congrats! Like hearing happy stories!

I'm giving living with mine a go in a little while. Bit sooner than we'd both like but circumstances have made it a good time to try
 
lakitu said:
Thanks for the responses guys. The dates going ahead, I can't be a **** and pull out now. I will try and find out more about how often the dad sees the kids, if at all. I do want children but that's not gonna happen is it with her so I'm kinda resounding to the fact I won't have any....I'm 33 I still have time, if she blows me away we will see, if not I might just pass. Will let you know how it went on Fri.
Click to expand...

When you reach your 30s and are dating women in their 30s kids are a fact of life.

I avoided single mums like the plague but what's left? Women desperate for.kids or resentful women unable to have them. Believe me I dated a few crazies :)

Relationships often break down but the mother and child relationship is as strong as you can get. If you want to avoid the additional complications of dating women with kids then dating younger women or dating women in their mid 30s who had kids when very young (late teens/early 20s) is an alternative.
 
Nevakonaza said:
I dont get why woman are so bitter these days that they will use children as weapons in divorce or a break up,Its just wrong.
Click to expand...


It is wrong! And I'm sadly experiencing this still 4-5 years on...

In its most base description, its just pure spite, they think they're hurting you and maybe in someway they are but its the kids who suffer the most but they can't or wont see it like that. To them they're justified in making the kids think their Dad is a deadbeat or abusive etc because he wont do as she wants.
 
bainbridge said:
When you reach your 30s and are dating women in their 30s kids are a fact of life.

I avoided single mums like the plague but what's left? Women desperate for.kids or resentful women unable to have them. Believe me I dated a few crazies :)

Relationships often break down but the mother and child relationship is as strong as you can get. If you want to avoid the additional complications of dating women with kids then dating younger women or dating women in their mid 30s who had kids when very young (late teens/early 20s) is an alternative.
Click to expand...

Depends where you are looking. I am 32 and I don't date women with kids, dated women with kids and its never worked out. For the reason, I am sociable out going person. I want to be out and about doing stuff with my partner, when I want and how I want. If they have kids then its very limited, very especially young kids.

My ex from last year she was 36, had no kids. She wanted them but wasnt ready what so ever. The women I am currently seeing, also is 36, has no kids. She does at some point but getting job etc sorted first is more important than having a child.

Also....looks..the biggy for many of us men. Women with no kids, tend to have the better looking bodies (not all!), even in their late 30's going into their early 40's. Compared to the others with kids, who cant loose the baby fat, "mummy tummy" or have crows feet around their eyes.

But if you want to avoid any of that...yeah, you can date that 18 to 25 year old, which many men older than us are doing these days.....less likely to have baggage.
 
malachi said:
Depends where you are looking. I am 32 and I don't date women with kids, dated women with kids and its never worked out. For the reason, I am sociable out going person. I want to be out and about doing stuff with my partner, when I want and how I want. If they have kids then its very limited, very especially young kids.

My ex from last year she was 36, had no kids. She wanted them but wasnt ready what so ever. The women I am currently seeing, also is 36, has no kids. She does at some point but getting job etc sorted first is more important than having a child.

Also....looks..the biggy for many of us men. Women with no kids, tend to have the better looking bodies (not all!), even in their late 30's going into their early 40's. Compared to the others with kids, who cant loose the baby fat, "mummy tummy" or have crows feet around their eyes.

But if you want to avoid any of that...yeah, you can date that 18 to 25 year old, which many men older than us are doing these days.....less likely to have baggage.
Click to expand...

I wouldn't date someone with kids either as at very least I want to have a few years with someone before they want them.
This means (at 30) I need to date people younger than me (mid 20s) who don't want kids. If I was to date someone say 35 I'd be too concerned that kids is already very much on their mind.
I'm in no way ready for kids (if I ever will be) not in my mind or financially.

If I was single at 35 I don't think I'd want to date as I wouldn't want to date mid 20s nor childless mid 30s.

If you're dating someone 36 with no kids who wants kids it's going to come in the very near future isn't it?
 
Last edited:
malachi said:
But if you want to avoid any of that...yeah, you can date that 18 to 25 year old, which many men older than us are doing these days.....less likely to have baggage.
Click to expand...

Good luck dealing with the angry dad of the 18 year old! :D

You're not going to have much to talk about, are you?

The kids thing is always the dealbreaker recently when I meet someone - they've either got some already or want them soon. Sucks, really.
 
You must log in or register to reply here.
Back
Top Bottom