The OcUK Relationship Counselling and Hugs Thread

You're 100% correct regulus, online dating has made it even worse.

Tinder and PoF is basically just a catalogue for any woman who can make herself look half decent with make up, she'll have hundreds of messages and can pick the cream of the crop. Then she'll get trapped in the never ending cycle of ****ing chads who want nothing more from her than meaningless sex, she'll then hit the wall at 30 and ask "where are all the nice guys".
 
Ayahuasca said:
You're 100% correct regulus, online dating has made it even worse.

Tinder and PoF is basically just a catalogue for any woman who can make herself look half decent with make up, she'll have hundreds of messages and can pick the cream of the crop. Then she'll get trapped in the never ending cycle of ****ing chads who want nothing more from her than meaningless sex, she'll then hit the wall at 30 and ask "where are all the nice guys".
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"Nice guy" is just such a ****** excuse.

You bitch about chads (cream of the crop you say ) shagging then movinf on while you patiently sit there flinginf "nice guy tokens hoping someone qill pity **** you.

Grow up.

If there was an app filled with hot women all wanting to shag you you wouldn't be looking for the sexond rate but "nice" girl.

You'd **** the fitties till you decides to settle down.

Trick is to make sure when you reach that point you're in a position to pcik the cream of the settle down crop
 
Ayahuasca said:
You're 100% correct regulus, online dating has made it even worse.

Tinder and PoF is basically just a catalogue for any woman who can make herself look half decent with make up, she'll have hundreds of messages and can pick the cream of the crop. Then she'll get trapped in the never ending cycle of ****ing chads who want nothing more from her than meaningless sex, she'll then hit the wall at 30 and ask "where are all the nice guys".
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I have to say I agree.
Although women have so much choice it isn't a good thing.
Start to get fussier and fussier and end up with idiots.
And the temptation that something better is around the corner.
Even if you're dating a long term user they will be getting so many more messages that are new and exciting.

Seems like a dream but probably ends up never settling, getting older and older, looks fading, bio clock ticking etc etc. What seems a dream isn't.

Kind of of the experience that of the people who have found a long term partner on inet dating, neither party have been on long enough to get sucked into the candy shop.

No one I know who has had success on it has been on long.
 
The othet thing is i dont think most of you guys realise just how pathetic, creepy and down right scary most guys messages to women are.


If you look half decent make a grinder account and leave it for a day.


Then read the god awfull collection of **** you get sent.

Start to get fussier and fussier and end up with idiot
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See thats not what fussier means.


What that sentence translates too is .


"They wont shag me whaaa whaa whaaa"

No one owes you a shag or a date or a reply.

Stop focusing on the other guys and start focusing on you.

What do you care if the ugly ones think theyre better than you, not like you wanted them anyway is it?


Be specific say openly what you're after instead of just trying to go for everything then whining when you get nothing
 
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Tefal said:
The othet thing is i dont think most of you guys realise just how pathetic, creepy and down right scary most guys messages to women are.


If you look half decent make a grinder account and leave it for a day.


Then read the god awfull collection of **** you get sent.
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Yes, that is very true. Know quite a few girls who have been on it. And not many are relationship material.
I don't get what these guys are hoping for.does it even work for a quick F?
 
Tefal said:
"Nice guy" is just such a ****** excuse.

You bitch about chads (cream of the crop you say ) shagging then movinf on while you patiently sit there flinginf "nice guy tokens hoping someone qill pity **** you.

Grow up.

If there was an app filled with hot women all wanting to shag you you wouldn't be looking for the sexond rate but "nice" girl.

You'd **** the fitties till you decides to settle down.

Trick is to make sure when you reach that point you're in a position to pcik the cream of the settle down crop
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I'm not bitching about chads at all and I know perfectly well the nice guy line is an excuse. I think you've interpreted my post the wrong way.

Women don't want nice guys, especially after they've had the tingles during their 20's riding the alpha **** carousel, a lot of them have to settle for Mr. Nice when they finally realise they can't lock down any alpha and they're post wall. These are the women who are in generally miserable marriages/relationships later in life with beta providers who do nothing but repel them no matter how much stuff they can buy, nothing will ever come close to the tingles she got from Chad when she was mid 20's ****ing guys in restaurant toilets, hotel rooms or anywhere for the matter.
 
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Ayahuasca said:
I'm not bitching about chads at all and I know perfectly well the nice guy line is an excuse. I think you've interpreted my post the wrong way.

Women don't want nice guys, especially after they've had the tingles during their 20's riding the alpha **** carousel, a lot of them have to settle for Mr. Nice when they finally realise they can't lock down any alpha and they're post wall. These are the women who are in generally miserable marriages/relationships later in life with beta providers who do nothing but repel them no matter how much stuff they can buy, nothing will ever come close to the tingles she got from Chad when she was mid 20's ****ing guys in restaurant toilets, hotel rooms or anywhere for the matter.
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Would you show me on the doll where the nasty person touched you ?
 
Ayahuasca said:
My post is probably slightly OTT but it's not far from the truth.
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I understand where you're coming from but it isn't so much the truth as it just your opinion based on your small sample of experience.

I think your viewpoint is a little narrow minded/naive though. Alphas in their youth and settling for betas when they're 30 (and therefore not satisfied)?? Some huge generalisations here that probably say more about you than anything. How old are you?

By the way, I probably just have a narrow minded viewpoint too.... Being an uber alpha, always. :p
 
I always find the alpha beta thing interesting.
Yet all girls want an alpha?

It's a big sweeping statement.
 
Lol this thread sometimes.

Met my other half through net dating, tbh I was using it for 4-5 years and never meta woman that could hold a decent conversation despite whatever her bio said about her.

Never sold myself as something I wasn't, I'm not 'alpha' and proud of it, happy earning a much higher than average wage instead of going to the gym and banging in nightclub toilets. Can still stand up for myself and my woman when/if needed.

Way it looks to me is all the guys who were 'alphas' in their late teens and early 20's now have multiple kids with multiple women they despise and low earning jobs as they were more worried about chasing tail at weekends than their jobs.

The majority of 'betas' are now in happy relationships with their own home and decent career prospects. I know it might seem generalising but from my personal experience that is exactly whats happened.
 
Hehe. Yea this alpha and beta thing is a bit played out. A lot of words and sentences in the last two pages taken directly from Reddit MGTOW or Red Pill. I actually sympathize with both sides :p But it's my belief that guys do themselves NO favors in the online dating arena. They clamor like trained dogs over these 3/10 chicks and when they crash and burn, cry wolf about a deck stacked against them. I've spent years arguing, suggesting, pleading to no avail. They bring it over themselves and give these skanks all the power in the world. It is what it is.

I'm also done with the online dating thing. Regardless of whether I end up single again one day or not. Too mindbogglingly boring. As if everyone use one big master profile and just make small variations on it. 'Looking for a nice guy', 'NOT interest in one night stands', 'Have to be able to make me laugh', 'love spending time with friends and family', 'Love exploring new places and travelling', 'just got back from my OE and looking to settle down with the special someone'. Then they go on a date with someone like me or any random guy, and spend the first 2 hours getting drunk and the next 5 hours bent over the back of my sofa at home.

Everyone write the same old waffle and do exactly the opposite.

Great for picking up ****s. But even that gets old.
 
Lots of bitter talk on here lately, all this stuff about alpha and beta males is utter rubbish. If you proclaim you're an alpha male on a computer tech based forum then that says it all really :)
 
Nobody proclaimed they were alpha.

Boycey I think you had a warped perspective on what an alpha was back when you were younger, going to the gym and nightclubs doesn't make those guys alpha and in your post you actually show some alpha tendencies yourself, owning your own home and having a good career aren't beta traits.

I was getting at the guys who settle down with the first person that shows them any attention, pay for everything for them then get confused when they end up divorce-raped a few years later.

As for the computer tech forum thing that doesn't mean a lot, there's likely many guys here who are great leaders, aren't pushovers and live life doing what they want and not what's expected of them.
 
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I'd also associate alpha as dominant, cocky,, over bearing, single minded

And beta as shy, passive, calm, debating.

And then infinite levels in-between
That's how I've always seem it. The same as boycey
 
Correct on some of your points but I wouldn't necessarily associate being calm with being beta.
Being "too" alpha also isn't ideal, there's a nice balance in between for most people to achieve. You're going to have a tough time if you're too far towards either end of the spectrum.
 
Ayahuasca said:
Correct on some of your points but I wouldn't necessarily associate being calm with being beta.
Being "too" alpha also isn't ideal, there's a nice balance in between for most people to achieve. You're going to have a tough time if you're too far towards either end of the spectrum.
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I know for well I'm on the beta side in a relationship. Less so than I was. A large part is probably to do with being introverted and depression type problems running in the family. But I can't change who I am really, I'm very aware that I'm after an uncommon type of girl, and must try to to be completely passive etc.
 
Let be honest, women don't want a "Nice Guy" they want a "Decent Guy" there is a difference.

If a women is saying "where are all the nice guys" or "I want a nice guy" I ignore them because that's a sign they are riddled with all sorts of emotional issues and haven't got their head screwed on. Dating website are full of women like this from I am reading.
 
Ayahuasca said:
I'm not bitching about chads at all and I know perfectly well the nice guy line is an excuse. I think you've interpreted my post the wrong way.

Women don't want nice guys, especially after they've had the tingles during their 20's riding the alpha **** carousel, a lot of them have to settle for Mr. Nice when they finally realise they can't lock down any alpha and they're post wall. These are the women who are in generally miserable marriages/relationships later in life with beta providers who do nothing but repel them no matter how much stuff they can buy, nothing will ever come close to the tingles she got from Chad when she was mid 20's ****ing guys in restaurant toilets, hotel rooms or anywhere for the matter.
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I think some people here are totally misinterpreting what you are saying... which is understandable it's a nuanced point.

But if you look around you see a lot of these patterns. You also see for example how a male doctor will hapilly marry a female nurse, but hardly ever the other way around. Hypergamy in full swing boyz. I think the problem is a lot of men find these things uncomfortable to hear about. Doesn't make it any less true.

Me? I just don't care, it is what it is.

As far as using the words alpha/beta to me it's just a simplified way of putting it. I don't generally think alpha and beta strictly exist rather a mix. But calling men alpha or beta is an easy way to drive the point home when having these kinds of discussions. You could use any words really, the cool guy or the uncool guy.

Cool guy = guy who may be seeing couple girls, sets boundaries, knows what he wants, doesn't take crapp off woman, won't be disrespected in relationships etc.
Uncool guy = thirsty for any female attention, gets walked over like a doormat, has no boundaries, lets his wife/girlfriend control him etc

Broad strokes here... because of course those traits aren't all limited to one or the other, but you get the idea.
 
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413x said:
I always find the alpha beta thing interesting.
Yet all girls want an alpha?

It's a big sweeping statement.
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I think it depends on what your circle of friends are really. Of all the women that I know and the large group that I grew up with not one of them would see a partner as black and white as Alpha/Beta. That said I only really know successful women who are working and who's partners are in similar socially standing roles.
 
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