House sharing

russell664

russell664

russell664

Soldato
Joined
19 Nov 2011
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4,906
Hi everyone,

looking for a bit of advice really - so I have a cracking deal with a mate to rent his old house (Detached, with Garage and 3 bedrooms) - with his son in a house share.

Now, my mate mentioned that his son doesn't really do much of anything, which doesn't concern me as we have discussed going half and half on electricity and gas etc... However, some of the things he does I can't understand and wind me up a little like instead of putting something in the bin, they will place it on the side and let it make a mess.

The real thing i'm asking, what suggestions do you guys suggest to keep the peace, and at least keep me sane? I get on with them really well, and I know they have been through a lot (Hospitalised, lack of energy due to blood etc..) and I respect that - but I just would like some pointers on how to live with it really. :)
 
Ask (respectfully) your mate to have a word with his son to just try and make some effort.
OR
Suck it up and be prepared to tidy up after him.

Hang on, you'd be living with your mate and his son, or just his son?
Ask your mate how he feels about his son doing nothing/leaving a mess, slyly? Does he not clean up after him?
 
Stay the hell away. This will not end well.


Edit: hold on, you're already in this situation? In that case you need to nip it in the bud and say something instead of letting it fester. It's only going to get worse and wind you up even more if you don't do something now.
 
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Talk to the son?

Or his father.

Or simply accept you will need to do some tidying up after him and accept that as a part of the cheap rent.
 
I'm sure if you talk to his Son, there will be things you do that wind him up, like being a tidy-freak.

I lived in house shares for about ten years when I was much younger and generally, you just need to learn to suck stuff up. It just starts getting petty and acrimonious otherwise. Unless they are doing really anti-social stuff like playing music late at night.

I think the worst house mate I had was when I was living in Basingstoke. Young lady, rather large who seemed to think it acceptable to take a massive dump in the morning and then leave it in the bowl for the joyful discovery of the next bathroom attendee. It was almost like she was proud of it or something!
 
He mentioned that they can be lazy kinda thing, they do work on Wednesday's, Thursdays and Fridays.

I think as I moved in over the weekend I have noticed it more - during the weekdays I don't think I will. They do hoover and wash up as well so I guess it's something. I reckon at some point they will do more, it is more the mindset I don't understand.

I don't mind clearing up, as I make a fair bit of mess myself haha. Yeah it is just me and my mates son, again a great guy, I think i'm just a lot more proactive than them and do everything when I can. They have done hoovering and washing and they manage the gas and electricity for me so I suppose i'm making something out of nothing?

I also do all of those things as well, but am a lot quicker at doing it, bar from the electricity and gas etc...
 
gandhi said:
I'm sure if you talk to his Son, there will be things you do that wind him up, like being a tidy-freak.

I lived in house shares for about ten years when I was much younger and generally, you just need to learn to suck stuff up. It just starts getting petty and acrimonious otherwise. Unless they are doing really anti-social stuff like playing music late at night.

I think the worst house mate I had was when I was living in Basingstoke. Young lady, rather large who seemed to think it acceptable to take a massive dump in the morning and then leave it in the bowl for the joyful discovery of the next bathroom attendee. It was almost like she was proud of it or something!
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Thanks mate, that makes perfect sense.

He doesn't do anything like that, he in pretty normal in that respect. It's mainly the tidiness aspect, but I guess it's all down to the change in scenery as it has happened quite quickly. I have known them for well over a year now - and we talk a lot about random stuff so can't be bad there.
 
My wife is the same...

its been 10 years and she still doesnt change.

She will cook and leave empty packets next to the stove rather than turning around and putting them in the bin 2 feet away... it may sound stupid but three hours later the packet will still be there even though she has been back into the kitchen three times since.

The two that get me the most are leaving dirty cups on the work surface above the dish washer... literally open the door and place it in... its 6 inches!! or leaving empty loo roles on the loo role holder.. getting a new loo role and leaving the new one on the floor when there is a bin for the empty one within arms length.
 
Everyone has different expectations of what counts as 'tidy'. I'm incredibly tidy (never leaving clothes out, washing up etc.) yet I still have arguments with the girlfriend about stuff. I put empty toilet rolls in the basket full of (full) toilet rolls next to the loo. Main reason is it's usually in the morning and I'm rushing out and forget/don't want to faff with putting them in the recycling box. But this winds her up no end. Why? I don't know, I think it looks tidy in there. So there's always differences.

There's no easy solution, but a good way to approach it if he is *really* untidy is to threaten to get a cleaner and make him pay for half.

Unfortunately if he's under 20 or so, it's just an age thing. So it'll be difficult to get him out of the bad habits.
 
enigma27 said:
leaving empty loo roles on the loo role holder.. getting a new loo role and leaving the new one on the floor when there is a bin for the empty one within arms length.
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empty roll on the holder with new one sat on top drives me nuts lol :mad: or leaving the old roll with 1 sheet and not getting a new one in :mad:
 
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become a duck and let water roll of your back.
whilst lying back and thinking how cheap it is, while saving for a house deposit.

In reality there's not huge amount you can do. Most people aren't up for changing themselves to be better.
one of the best things is, at least a monthly cleaner and a dishwasher. That way even if they don't wash up, it's easy for you to put dishes in the dishwasher for them.
 
The one that winds me up is when people leave dirty dishes, etc. stacked up in the sink - I'm not that bothered about washing up other people's stuff but atleast put it so I don't have to move everything back out the sink to make a start :( now we have a dishwasher so its less of an issue though.
 
Currently also having to deal with someone of a similar ilk who is a grown man at 33.

He 'washes' plates and cutlery etc but I'll pick them up and put them on the side because they'll stink of beer/whatever he's eaten and all he'll have done is dab it down with some cold water. He leaves constant trails of tea that go directly to his room; from the moment a teabag goes in the bin its there. Never takes the bins out.

His lifestyle is literally go to work, come home around 6pm and then run off to his room, drink beer and play video games until 11pm. He eats all his dinners in his room which consist of pizza, frozen chips and fish fingers. When his door is open slightly ajar is absolutely stinks.

I should say something but I feel I shouldn't have to tell a fully grown man how to conduct himself properly and he hasn't changed in the 2 odd years I've put up with it. Lease isn't up until May next year, but the rent is also so cheap for zone 2 in London I'm stumped as to what to do. I'm fairly certain he's also skint for some reason; he left a letter on the dining room table about a personal loan of nearly £5k.
 
If it bothers you that much then its not worth putting up with. Life is short, make yourself happy even if it means spending more on rent.
 
russell664 said:
Hi everyone,

looking for a bit of advice really - so I have a cracking deal with a mate to rent his old house (Detached, with Garage and 3 bedrooms) - with his son in a house share.

Now, my mate mentioned that his son doesn't really do much of anything, which doesn't concern me as we have discussed going half and half on electricity and gas etc... However, some of the things he does I can't understand and wind me up a little like instead of putting something in the bin, they will place it on the side and let it make a mess.

The real thing i'm asking, what suggestions do you guys suggest to keep the peace, and at least keep me sane? I get on with them really well, and I know they have been through a lot (Hospitalised, lack of energy due to blood etc..) and I respect that - but I just would like some pointers on how to live with it really. :)
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You just stop caring.

I have.... I live with a friend. The place isn't exactly spotless but it's not a complete **** hole.

I leave stuff on the side sometimes too, so does he. I used to get annoyed by stuff like that but now days i'm like.... *shrug* #yolo

As long as it's not ridiculous.
 
I think talking directly to him is the way since he's younger than you it would be easier to talk about stuffs like that. I used to have the same house mate but he's older than me so it's so hard to talk about his bad behaviours without making him feel disrespected
 
Scam said:
If it bothers you that much then its not worth putting up with. Life is short, make yourself happy even if it means spending more on rent.
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opposite, that's why its very much worth putting up for cheap rent for a short term, otherwise you'll end up renting for the next decade.
 
Glaucus said:
opposite, that's why its very much worth putting up for cheap rent for a short term, otherwise you'll end up renting for the next decade.
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I was talking to rickjames. As we've discussed in the Savings thread, there's always a middle-ground. No point making yourself miserable for any extended number of years just to buy somewhere a little bit earlier. The way house prices are rising it might not make that much of a difference.

Anyways, young people will probably be saving for longer than 10yrs, given the average age of a FTB is 37yrs old :o Let's say the average career starts at 21 when you leave University, that's 16yrs saving. And that is going up due to the constant f-wittery that is our housing market.
 
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