The OcUK Relationship Counselling and Hugs Thread
- Thread starter mattyprice4004
- Start date
Does anyone else feel that speaking to women is like constantly trying to navigate a minefield of millions of potential things you can say that for some unknown reason will set them off with an over emotional response that is completely baffling to all men?!
Seriously does my head in
Seriously does my head in
I used to years ago (married a long time now). But over the years I came to realise the best approach is to just be true to yourself and your own opinions. If you temper your views to accommodate a girl then you will just end up in a relationship with someone that you will always either be arguing with our having to tread carefully around. In hindsight a much better approach is not to worry, within reason, what the girl thinks. If she gets funny about your views then just move on until you find someone you don't need to tread carefully around. Always be true to yourself.
Yes, and you shouldn't care in the slightest. Relationships comes from both sides, it's not your job navigating the emotions of some stupid bint with no handle on herself or can't handle being challenged. Dump and move on.
A lot of women I've dated in the previous 2 years are like this, hence the reason I bin them off in the end. The ones that aren't don't look that nice or are a bit thick.
Till I meet someone I can be around I'll keep looking, I'm in no rush at all.
Yup, if you're constantly biting your tongue and/or censoring your own opinions then you'll go nuts. Definitely don't get involved in a relationship with someone who is essentially incompatible.
Soldato
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Not sure if this is the correct thread but I am after some advice/opinion.
To give some context I have Aspergers so not great in social situation and pretty oblivious to some things inc know if a woman is interested or not.
Anyways about 2.5 years ago I briefly dated a rather nice, tall and nerdy Lithuanian lady I met at a anime club, she was 21 and I was 28 turning 29 at the time. I had not dated anyone in about 5 years at that point as such was very rusty, it ended after 2 dates as she didn’t want anything serous she said.
Roll on a couple of week ago I went to the same club and I hand not seen or her from her in about a year (she’s not the social media type) so I though she had moved away/finished uni, but she shows up at the end of the evening looking good with a different hair doo. So when she said hello I said as much saying thanks etc before we chatted to some other peeps, as it was the first meet of the season. After the club we all went for ice cream leading up the closing time at midnight of what was a Friday night.
It was a pretty big group in small place so we were spilt up but we did exchange a couple of smiles, as peep slowly went home there was room next to me and she came over sat next to me and we chatting about various things. It came to closing time and we all left. I ended up escorting her home as she was by herself it had gone midnight and I didn’t like the idea of anyone walking home by them self’s on a Friday night/ sat morning considering the number of assaults and muggings there been in Oxford recently. Still talking on the way there my intention was to take here to her door and head home, got to her place and I had already turned around to head back and she invited me into tea ( didn’t seem cliché at the time) so ofc I said yes, she said she couldn’t show me her room as it was a mess lol.
Ended up chatted from some 70-90mins on her sofa with said tea till about 1:30 in the morning, even with my Aspergers I could tell if she’s was quite comfortable with me over the that time sitting on the same small sofa as me with her legs up smiling/chatting/lolling away etc.
Anyway I ended up getting up and to get ready to head home etc as it was late, after I put on my jacket she lent in at the time what I was for was just hug which I was surprised and taken aback about a little, so we hug she said thanks for coming and escorting her home and soon. I went home my self getting at 2:00 in the morning.
Now this was a couple weeks ago and she chatted via text a little bit but nothing flirty (I think), I’ve told female and male mates about this and all of them said I was idiotic and she was clearly “interested” and was wanting more etc I think she was just being polite/civil. I still like her in that way but Im weary of picking up the signals of if someone is interested or not.
Short version : escorted a lady I dated years ago home early in the morning we drank tea she hugged me and I went home, mates thinks I was in there I thought she was just being nice/polite.
What are your peeps opinion? Do you think my mates are right and she’s matured a bit (she’s 24 and I’m 31 now) and is interested in me again or was she just being nice and polite? .If the former how should I go about asking her out again? I’m pretty ******* clueless at anything like this and I rather not get my hopes/exceptions up.
Sorry for the wall of text and thanks!
To give some context I have Aspergers so not great in social situation and pretty oblivious to some things inc know if a woman is interested or not.
Anyways about 2.5 years ago I briefly dated a rather nice, tall and nerdy Lithuanian lady I met at a anime club, she was 21 and I was 28 turning 29 at the time. I had not dated anyone in about 5 years at that point as such was very rusty, it ended after 2 dates as she didn’t want anything serous she said.
Roll on a couple of week ago I went to the same club and I hand not seen or her from her in about a year (she’s not the social media type) so I though she had moved away/finished uni, but she shows up at the end of the evening looking good with a different hair doo. So when she said hello I said as much saying thanks etc before we chatted to some other peeps, as it was the first meet of the season. After the club we all went for ice cream leading up the closing time at midnight of what was a Friday night.
It was a pretty big group in small place so we were spilt up but we did exchange a couple of smiles, as peep slowly went home there was room next to me and she came over sat next to me and we chatting about various things. It came to closing time and we all left. I ended up escorting her home as she was by herself it had gone midnight and I didn’t like the idea of anyone walking home by them self’s on a Friday night/ sat morning considering the number of assaults and muggings there been in Oxford recently. Still talking on the way there my intention was to take here to her door and head home, got to her place and I had already turned around to head back and she invited me into tea ( didn’t seem cliché at the time) so ofc I said yes, she said she couldn’t show me her room as it was a mess lol.
Ended up chatted from some 70-90mins on her sofa with said tea till about 1:30 in the morning, even with my Aspergers I could tell if she’s was quite comfortable with me over the that time sitting on the same small sofa as me with her legs up smiling/chatting/lolling away etc.
Anyway I ended up getting up and to get ready to head home etc as it was late, after I put on my jacket she lent in at the time what I was for was just hug which I was surprised and taken aback about a little, so we hug she said thanks for coming and escorting her home and soon. I went home my self getting at 2:00 in the morning.
Now this was a couple weeks ago and she chatted via text a little bit but nothing flirty (I think), I’ve told female and male mates about this and all of them said I was idiotic and she was clearly “interested” and was wanting more etc I think she was just being polite/civil. I still like her in that way but Im weary of picking up the signals of if someone is interested or not.
Short version : escorted a lady I dated years ago home early in the morning we drank tea she hugged me and I went home, mates thinks I was in there I thought she was just being nice/polite.
What are your peeps opinion? Do you think my mates are right and she’s matured a bit (she’s 24 and I’m 31 now) and is interested in me again or was she just being nice and polite? .If the former how should I go about asking her out again? I’m pretty ******* clueless at anything like this and I rather not get my hopes/exceptions up.
Sorry for the wall of text and thanks!
I'd say she's interested.
Just ask her. Worst case scenario and you've read the situation wrong - you probably wont see her again for another year anyway by which time you'll both have forgotten about it so it wont be awkward.
Just ask her. Worst case scenario and you've read the situation wrong - you probably wont see her again for another year anyway by which time you'll both have forgotten about it so it wont be awkward.
Soldato
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Ask if she fancies getting together again sometime, after a few 'dates' it'll start to become clearer 
I lol'd. But this basically.
Soldato
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I do have a quagmire t shirt lol, anyway it seem everyone (bar me) is saying the same. So I will go for it, I was going to see Dr strange tomorrow and get dinner out afterwards (yes i go out for dinner by my self), good time to ask her out to joint me ?
She wanted you to take it further, aspergers can be a funny one as sometimes it makes you appear arrogant or with a sense of quiet confidence and some girls are turned on by it. All depends where you are on the spectrum and who the woman is.
This.
Haha also sounds like me but i'm pretty sure I don't have aspergers