I don't know if I want kids or not

I didn't plan on having kids. But I have a daughter and wouldn't change it for the world. Without her I don't think I'd have been able to make it through the last few years. Having a duty beyond myself and a focus to constantly strive to improve, beyone my own selfish wants is gratifying.
Is my life's worth purely in forwarding my gene's to the future. Not at all. The lives we touch as we move through live and hopefully leave better and improved, will be my legacy. My hope is by teaching and preparing my daughter. She'll leave the world a little better and continue that legacy.
 
My favourite argument for having children is that you are being selfish if you don't have them and then being told "who will look after you when you're old".

Apart from being massively hypocritical they are completely deluded. Most children won't give up their lives to look after their elderly parents. Nor should they in my opinion. Its a really stupid idea for the young to spend some of the best years of their life looking after the elderly.

I don't think I want children but perhaps that will change in the future. My brother has just popped out a couple in the last 2 years and you can see how much he loves them both. Not sure there is a right answer to the question. The only thing I do know is that the only thing more annoying than a group of teachers whinging about how hard their job is, is being with a group of parents who only seem capable about talking about how special their below average kid is.
 
Nobody asks to be born and to have children in a modern scientific society is effectively playing God. You are asking someone to live out an existence on this rock and subject them to potentially horrible hardships and struggles for what exactly? The only way I can see it making much sense is if you are religious and you believe in a purpose to life.

In nature animals reproduce purely on instinct, being a sentient being and understanding the actual predicament we are in makes a difference in my mind.

If you are happy then leave it there, you are incredibly fortunate, enjoy it, don't bring someone else into this insanity who could live a much worse life to your own. Leave them in peace it is the humane thing to do.

Adopting to improve the life of someone already born makes far more sense to me.

Ask me again tomorrow and I might tell you different I battle with the idea continuously.
 
The benefits of having children outweigh the drawbacks in my view.

Children are cute. Seeing someone cute who adores you every day before n after work can make everything better, it has proven psychological and even biological positive effects. Sure, pets can do that but with kids you can go to higher levels of interaction.

Almost anything you do in life will have a lesser overall impact in the world (unless you are Bill Gates etc.). A house, a tree come and go but a lineage can go on for hundreds of years or more. You leave behind a bit more and you get to prolong your existance a little longer(existing in thoughts, memories). Shaping a person is more meaningful than shaping an object or an abstract concept.

You help perpetuate a species which is aiming for the stars. That is appealing for me, a humanist who believes we are (part of) the Universe's consciousness. In before 'overpopulation!!!11'.. there's plenty of room for everyone and the no. of humans is projected to stop growing in 50-80 years.

You decrease the chance of ending up all alone at some point in life.

Grandchildren! As per the first argument..
 
Participant said:
My morning so far:

- 2 year old woke at 5:30 and demanded grape nuts. He always wakes up starving cause he never eats his tea. He jumped on us and screamed until we obliged, which was me today because it's mother's day.
- My 5 year old vomited in her bed at 6:30 because she has a cough and catarrh. Cleaned that up. She went back to sleep.
- Amazon order arrived, including a new wall clock for my 5 year old that helps you tell the time. She had a melt down because it wasn't pink, screaming and shouting that she didn't want it. She climbed on her rocking horse and pulled it off the wall, cracking the frame, and demanded a pink one instead.
- Wife left to see her mum, kids cry for mummy for half an hour.
- 2 year old wanted to watch Chuggington on the study PC, but I'm working. He pushes me and cries to get his own way for 20 minutes. Fails, but still tiring.
- I just sit down after they've calmed down and they both want more breakfast / brunch. 5 year old demands that her cup of milk is warmed up.
- Sit down after that and she needs a poo. She's weed on the floor of the toilet so I clear that up.

It's not even midday and I'm drained.

Think carefully people.
Click to expand...

Lol. Sounds like the kids need a bit more discipline. How can a child 'demand' anything? They are powerless, unless they have picked the idea that they do have power, due to the parents' behaviour. :D
 
The best memories of my life so far (28 years) are all of having a great time with my parents and extended family (sister, aunties, uncles and cousins, etc). I can't really remember a lot of the places we've been as they're not important, it's who I was with that sticks in my mind. Absolutely nothing so far has beaten time spent with family having parties, days outs and Christmas.

We have our baby boy due in the next week or two and I can't wait to be able to do those same things with my own children.

When I'm 50-60 and my son is getting married, getting a car, getting a house, having children (my grandchildren), or doing whatever he chooses to do. I'll be looking on, and joining in, proudly. The fun family times will continue. I'll be surrounded by great loving people.

If you think a short break to Lisburn is better then I feel sorry for you.
 
McGray said:
No need to pity me, I'd much rather my city break than spending Christmas with your family tbh.
Click to expand...

Haha, can't believe you declined my hidden invite to Christmas 2040. :p

Nothing wrong with a trip to Lisburn, I was more making the point that who you spend time with is more important than where you go.

I don't believe that children stop you from travelling, if anything they enhance it.
 
kinobestew123 said:
If you think a short break to Lisburn is better then I feel sorry for you.
Click to expand...

Not sure where 'Lisburn' is, but I'm not having kids as I just don't want or need them in my life. My (soon to be) wife is the best travel partner and friend in life that I could ever ask for. I don't feel the need to add a +1 to something that's already ideal.
 
FishFluff said:
Not sure where 'Lisburn' is, but I'm not having kids as I just don't want or need them in my life. My (soon to be) wife is the best travel partner and friend in life that I could ever ask for. I don't feel the need to add a +1 to something that's already ideal.
Click to expand...

Travelling with your wife is good fun, I've travelled with my wife too . My point was that I enjoy doing things with my large family much more and for me, that's really important. I couldn't imagine a life where I only have 1 person around me.
 
Really quite dislike children, hugely annoying and demanding so I do my best to ignore them. I've felt this way from a young age, despite being told that I would change my mind, I've just never felt paternal in any way. Fiancé and I have been together for 10 years and definitely do not want any, we like our life together as it is without the complication and financial burden of children.
 
Went to the shop today. The trip alone made me thankful I don't have kids.

Some poor Mother had two young kids, one of which was a girl around 4 who was screaming and screaming. I was in the shop for about 20 minutes and heard her the entire time.

When I passed the Mother she seemed really calm and was speaking normally to the girl despite her continual, loud, ear shattering wailing.
 
redrabbit29 said:
Went to the shop today. The trip alone made me thankful I don't have kids.

Some poor Mother had two young kids, one of which was a girl around 4 who was screaming and screaming. I was in the shop for about 20 minutes and heard her the entire time.

When I passed the Mother she seemed really calm and was speaking normally to the girl despite her continual, loud, ear shattering wailing.
Click to expand...

The mother sounds like a trooper. It's VERY hard to keep your temper in that situation, but the child needs to not have attention or success while tantrumming otherwise the parent negatively reinforces the behaviour and shows the child that it is a legitimate route to getting what it wants.
 
You must log in or register to reply here.
Back
Top Bottom