What is the most freakish accident you have ever had?

Hmm lets see. When I was baby mother managed to drop me or I fell off the bed or something mothers always been vague on that point, hit my forehead on something hard and had a nice gash to show for it. Got 4 stitches thats still visible. Later when I was a kid went sledging in the snow went into what I thought was a nice deep snowdrift, except it concealed a wooden bench and it managed to smash my specs (this is back in the day when lenses were made of real, actual glass). I remember blood streaming down my face and I had a nice gash on my eyelid. I've still a noticeable scar you can see when I close my eye. How it didn't take out my eye I'll never know.

Oh yes I once had a substantial prickly pear cactus houseplant a good 3' tall and had 2" spines to match. Sharp as needles. Once I stumbled put my hand out.. onto the cactus. The spine actually managed to pearce the skin several times in and out and in and out again so it looked like my skin was pinched together several times over with a single spine. Yeah that was fun extracating that the spines are barbed so go in easy but don't pull out so much so its easier you just push them right through.

Managed to crash my bicycle when I was old enough to know better and busted my thumb. Six month later it was still barely mobile. Tooks years before that was pain free again.

I could go on...
 
**** myself a few months ago. I thought it was a fart. My mate confirmed it wasn't when the **** started coming through my grey jogging shorts. :(
 
The OP is vague re the circumstances and subsequently, the amount of freakishness we can bestow the accident.
Was he a playing cricket, or a spectator, or sitting in a barber's chair when he was hit ?

We just don't know, such cavalier disregard for facts can only lead to one thing .......Nazism.

Anyway, I was putting coving on the ceiling, and because it was really warm I was nude [ as you do ]
and I slipped off the chair I was standing on and , you'll never believe it, fell on to a coke bottle that was on the floor, and it went
right up my jacksie. Off to A&E [ again ].
 
Smashed into the rear of a stationary dustbin lorry at ~20mph on a bicycle, after my rim brakes did as good as nothing, when spotting the obstacle on exiting a sweeping bend. Multiple fractures to maxilla; two teeth rapidly left my jaw; many teeth chipped; two metacarpals fractured; fun Xmas in Southampton General 2013!

Ironically, it has been the only day I've encountered a dustbin lorry collecting rubbish anywhere near there, before or since.

I now ride hydraulic disc brake bikes only, if I can help it.;)
 
I tried to jump over a railing that was six inches off the ground. Failed, took a massive chunk of flesh out of my arm and bruised my ribs. I was not drunk.
 
I got hit by a bus. I remember exactly nothing. I left tesco lotus, then a German doctor was talking to me, then I was in a taxi trying to find my family. Roughly 8 hours wiped out of my mind.
 
a woman pulled out infront of me on my gasgas 400fse supermoto back in the day. I had just left college and she was picking up kids from school opposite, only just passed her test.

Fractured pelvis and couldn't walk for a year. Funny thing is the hospital missed the fracture but called me back a week later when a student radiographer was reviewing my xrays.
 
When I was about 13 yrs old I didn't look when crossing a road in the town centre, the next thing I heard a loud screech then bang, I got hit by a car and knocked down

Lots of people gasped and quite a lot rushed over to help, despite people telling me not to I got up and strangely I had no injuries at all, not even a slight graze

There was a lot of oaps trying to take me for a cup of sweet tea thinking I was in shock, I was actually just a bit bemused and embarrassed by the whole event and wanted to go home

I can only guess the car had skidded but stopped more or less the exact point it hit me so what looked like a nasty accident was in fact more of a light tap
 
When I was little my mum had a friend with a daughter about the same age as me. I used to bully her and push her around. One time my mum had to go out somewhere and this lady came round with her daughter to mind me. This little girl decided she'd had enough of my nonsense so she pushed me back, straight through a glass door. My mum was summoned back asap as her friend was in a major panic, understandably. I was fine, just a tiny cut on my head, but this was the 80s so no safety glass or anything, so I'm lucky it didn't take my head clean off. My mum said there was the outline of a little person in the glass, like in a cartoon or something.

At primary school when I was like 5 or something we were tidying up the gym equipment after PE. I picked up one of those big long benches to put it away and the teacher said not to move it just yet. I just dropped it without putting it down properly and I dropped it right on my big toe. I could hardly walk for the rest of the day, which was devastating as that was the day a hedgehog turned up on the school field and I couldn't walk out there to see it.

Another time at primary school we were playing a game like Knightmare where you closed your eyes and people told you what was going on around you. I had my eyes closed and was told to run or something and I ran full tilt into a wall. My dad had to come home from work to fetch me from school. I was fine but had a massive bruise in the middle of my forehead. My dad took me to the pub and I had a Red Leicester cheese sandwich. What a detail to remember.

Another time I got knocked off a very short wall at the end of our playground and landed on the back of my head. My mum took me to hospital and I had to have a couple of stitches. They asked if I was ok to walk out of there with my mum and go home. I got up, walked into a door and passed out.

One time I woke up and I had my arm up behind my head, like asleep with my head on my upper arm. I tried to move it out from under there and found out it was totally numb from the shoulder down - I must have been resting right on a nerve or something. By the time I realised I had no control over my arm it was too late and my arm was already on the move. It continued on its trajectory and my useless hand smashed into my balls. All within like 20 seconds of waking up.
 
Back flipped into a swimming pool when I was 12, misjudged the rotation, landed in the water feeling numb; lifeguards came running up and jumped in as I was kinda floating there in total shock.

It would appear that I smashed my nose/face off the side when coming back down, broke my nose - very lucky as it was a similar injury to receiving an upper cut from Anthony Joshua due to the force and direction.

My nose was wonky and the military PTI who was on duty as the lifeguard gripped it and snapped it back straight - hurt like nothing I have felt before just felt like a metal rod had been shoved into my brain. Still got a lump in my nose but due to his quick actions as least it is straight. This was late 90's I'm sure if you did that today you'd get sued.
 
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Motorbike accident; snapped my tibia and fibula in multiple places. I now have some decent scars and a nail going down through my lower leg bone.

Don't click the spoiler if you are even slightly squeamish!

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Participant said:
Motorbike accident; snapped my tibia and fibula in multiple places. I now have some decent scars and a nail going down through my lower leg bone.

Don't click the spoiler if you are even slightly squeamish!

pNVWahOh.jpg
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Yeh well I did that to both my legs then walked 10 miles to the hospital
 
My top 3:
Being about 10-11 being on camp with the cubs we were play catch with a cricket ball, when i walked off to go the loo someone through the ball high and it landed on my top head knocking me out! Afterwards the adventure Scouts who where with us took me for a walk and i tried my 1st cigarette.
Playing soft ball at school i hit a home run, whilst running round the diamond being in pain and not able to use one of my arms . Walked over to my teacher, his response when he look at me was **** looks like you’ve dislocated your shoulder.
Driving to work, came to a full stop at a red light the last thing i really remember was going to pull on the hand brake and then being pulled out of my car by two strangers. After a few mins i realised, a bus driver decided to ignore the red light and ram into the back of me. Sending my car in the lamppost completely wrecking my car.
 
FortuitousFluke said:
Whilst it's clear you've been cursed by a gypsy witch (sorry, entrepreneurial, heather wholesaling mystic), I do get the whole "I'm not going to the hospital mentality. I was picking up the shards of a broken glass candle jar and managed to swipe my hand across it, I just shoved a plaster on it until I got to work where a colleague who happens to be a trained nurse suggested I go to A&E. Put it off for another two hours until the badgering got too much, even then I called every medical centre below the acute hospitals in an effort to avoid going to A&E, even minor injury units don't like dealing with hand wounds. Turns out gashes around the knuckles are quite serious due to the tendons in the area, had to have an xray before getting stitched up.

Would have been much happier if they'd just left me alone to fashion a dressing out of napkins and selotape though. Interfering busy bodies.
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been in out of hospital my whole life, due to mild hemiplegia, so 3 times a week physiotherapy for 10 years ive had my fair share. and most of it is absolute rubbish.
any reason not to go to hospital i will take it. The NHS is absolute joke, its not totally the government fault, its mainly the management & the people living our community now days.

when they found out i got a bone sticking in my ankle they said you need crutches.
took them 1 and half hours to find me some crutches 1 and half hours!
i told the nurse, thank you for finding them, but what took so long. she said their was no organisation...
i said its funny because i could went out and bought my own in that time, she agreed.

then i saw a girl in A+E saying she hit her head and felt dizzy etc couldn't walk straight. yet she was laughing with her mate she was checked out, she shouted yeh their nothing wrong with me.
then she RAN out the hospital.....

if i could go to a doctor and be seen at that time i would. but you can't now days to due to poor management & over senstive people wasting doctors time for a silly cold/hit knee. Get over it.... its silly!
 
Running up the stairs with a screwdriver as a kid and slipped and it ended up piercing the bottom of my tongue.
 
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