Overs 40's : Are you Happy with your lot?

[malachi]

People talk about travelling like it's worth not having kids just to do it, and having traveled a lot I'm not really seeing the sacrifice being worth the gain, to be honest.

It really smacks of selfishness and that's probably because I've got 3 kids and couldn't imagine swapping them for a hitch-hiking trip across Thailand or whatever.

The guy a few posts up hit the nail on the head;

Its more about do travelling before settling down and having kids because you be more flexible, financially and physically. Get it done while you are still young.

I can't remember the article I read a few years ago about people going into homes or hospitals just to help out with the elderly who only have a few days to live. One of the biggest regrets many of them had is that they wish they travelled and saw the world more. 2nd was staying in touch with certain friends and families. I think 3rd was not asking out that particularly person they fancied for years.

Very interesting article but at the sametime very sad.

 

[Dirk Diggler]

Selfishness? Children aren't for everyone.

I did go on to explain why I view it that way personally. I know it's not for everyone but it's hard to argue that a decision not to have kids is an act of thinking about the impact those kids would have on one's self, and in the process lacking consideration on the impact that would have on the kid (a potential human being), therefore selfish.

Selfish
(of a person, action, or motive) lacking consideration for other people; concerned chiefly with one's own personal profit or pleasure.

 

[Efour]

That's bizarre as hell.

I'm 40 and don't have kids, not sure I will but to be considered selfish is frankly ridiculous.
Given the current state of the world, I think it's better to not burden it with 2 genetic copies of me and my partner.

Ok well, I'll have kids, regret it, resent them, raise them like ****, kick them out of the door when they are 18 just so it fits in with outdated social conventions and perceptions.

Seriously if i regret it when I'm on my deathbed...WHo cares? ill be dead soon and it will be absolutely irrelevant.

 

[Sliver]

There is nothing selfish about choosing not to have kids. People who say this are stupid. Having kids is a choice that people make. Either way there is no right or wrong.

 

[Bassmansam]

That's bizarre as hell.

I'm 40 and don't have kids, not sure I will but to be considered selfish is frankly ridiculous.
Given the current state of the world, I think it's better to not burden it with 2 genetic copies of me and my partner.

Ok well, I'll have kids, regret it, resent them, raise them like ****, kick them out of the door when they are 18 just so it fits in with outdated social conventions and perceptions.

Seriously if i regret it when I'm on my deathbed...WHo cares? ill be dead soon and it will be absolutely irrelevant.

I was going to post something pretty similar but you said it perfectly. I find it odd when people talk about regrets when your dieing, as you say you will be dead soon after anyway so who cares.

 

[easyrider]

You can still travel when 40!

I plan to buy a transit van and spend my holidays off work half terms, 7 weeks off in summer to drive about Europe playing my guitar meeting people and chilling with my collie dog.

Rather than rotting at home watching **** Marvel fodder and playing games killing time...

I need to use the time I get off as teacher to better use....

Leave work on one Friday before half term, get the ferry from Hull over to Rotterdam and hit Germany for a week etc...

Maybe fall in love with a German girl...English women suck

 

[Sliver]

I was going to post something pretty similar but you said it perfectly. I find it odd when people talk about regrets when your dieing, as you say you will be dead soon after anyway so who cares.

Voltaire said it best.

When Voltaire was dying, in his eighties, a priest in attendance called upon him to renounce the devil. Voltaire considered his advice, but decided not to follow it. “This is no time,” he said, “to be making new enemies”. I love that quote

 

[bainbridge]

I'm childless at 40, never wanted children when I was younger. As time goes on the idea has more appeal now that I'm older, but it's doubtful it'll happen now.

As mentioned above it is a personal choice.

 

[AndyCr15]

it's hard to argue that a decision not to have kids is an act of thinking about the impact those kids would have on one's self, and in the process lacking consideration on the impact that would have on the kid (a potential human being), therefore selfish.

I would think it's very easy to argue against actually, if the kid doesn't even exist.

 

[Dirk Diggler]

It's selfish by definition! Just because you may view the word in a pejorative context, it doesn't mean it's not factually correct. People who decide not to have kids are generally thinking about themselves and the impact their family would have on their social life, finances etc..

I'm not passing judgement on anyone, merely stating a fact. And the fact is I'd rather have my family than travel or have money for leisure and holidays etc.., which is my personal choice, a choice just as valid as anyone else's.

 

[AndyCr15]

Selfish
(of a person, action, or motive) lacking consideration for other people; concerned chiefly with one's own personal profit or pleasure.

But there are no other people to consider? In fact, the only other person to consider would be your partner. If you did it in consideration with them, by definition it isn't?

 

[Dirk Diggler]

But there are no other people to consider? In fact, the only other person to consider would be your partner. If you did it in consideration with them, by definition it isn't?

I've stated my point of view, and for me to continually respond would be tiresome. I can't add anything more, it's up to others to either agree or disagree.

 

[Mobius 1]

Party Thursday, Friday, Saturday. Chill out on Sunday and recover late Wednesday

Sounds about right. My hangovers last so long now haha. Usually pumped for the weekend by Thursday though !

 

[AndyCr15]

I've stated my point of view, and for me to continually respond would be tiresome. I can't add anything more, it's up to others to either agree or disagree.

You claimed selfish by definition. I have proposed a counter argument to that is all. If you have nothing further, fair enough, I'll leave it there with my counter un-countered.

 

[Rannoch]

Sounds about right. My hangovers last so long now haha. Usually pumped for the weekend by Thursday though !

3-5 day hangover lol. I remember clubbing it on a Friday, 4 hours sleep and in the pub at midday

 

[Jock7]

I came up through the 50s, 60s, 70s etc to present day and have saw great changes in this world of ours from the music, changes in our lives, tech and other great things espically with the Space Race. The only bad thing is that even today people are killing each other for Power, Money, Religion and that has not changed since the beginning of man. I would never change when I was born because of these changes.

 

[BusError]

It's selfish by definition! Just because you may view the word in a pejorative context, it doesn't mean it's not factually correct. People who decide not to have kids are generally thinking about themselves and the impact their family would have on their social life, finances etc..

I'm not passing judgement on anyone, merely stating a fact. And the fact is I'd rather have my family than travel or have money for leisure and holidays etc.., which is my personal choice, a choice just as valid as anyone else's.

***No personal attacks*** I don't have kids because the planet is already overrun by humans. There ARE TOO MANY KIDS.

Regardless of what you have been ingrained to beleive, human life is NOT PRECIOUS ANYMORE. Might have been 2000+ years ago, but nowadays we are just a plague on the world, trying to justify our existence the same way people did it 500 years ago. Look around you, we are MASSIVELY better at using the environment, and for every piece of energy we save, we 'overspend' it by making... more kids.

Doesn't seem to matter than most of them live a life of misery, as long as it's not YOUR FRIGGING KIDS that do, now, THAT is selfishness of the first order, YOU as a parent completely believe you are better, your progeny has the 'right to live' etc etc and what they are is just one more tax on the planet from the plague that we are.

I don't have kids. I don't like kids, I didn't like kids when I was a kid -- do there was very little danger of me ever becoming a parent -- however when I see people trying to justify procreating it makes me sick. You don't have any 'right' to overcrowd the planet even more, all you are doing is responding to your genetic drive that wants you to procreate like it's still would make a difference to the species survival.

Blimey, now, that was a good rant.

 

[Dirk Diggler]

@BusError you should be ashamed of yourself, referring to children as a plague. And I can assure you, my children aren't brats.

Human Life is precious to me, and so is my family. I don't have to throw personal insults around to make my point either.

Honesty, in all the time I've used this forum that's the closest I've ever came to reporting someone's post. How disgusting that you can speak about children like that.

What is wrong with you people?

 

[Diddums]

You are just an idiot. I don't have kids because the planet is already overrun by humans. There ARE TOO MANY KIDS.

Regardless of what you have been ingrained to beleive, human life is NOT PRECIOUS ANYMORE. Might have been 2000+ years ago, but nowadays we are just a plague on the world, trying to justify our existence the same way people did it 500 years ago. Look around you, we are MASSIVELY better at using the environment, and for every piece of energy we save, we 'overspend' it by making... more kids.

Doesn't seem to matter than most of them live a life of misery, as long as it's not YOUR FRIGGING KIDS that do, now, THAT is selfishness of the first order, YOU as a parent completely believe you are better, your progeny has the 'right to live' etc etc and what they are is just one more tax on the planet from the plague that we are.

I don't have kids. I don't like kids, I didn't like kids when I was a kid -- do there was very little danger of me ever becoming a parent -- however when I see people trying to justify procreating it makes me sick. You don't have any 'right' to overcrowd the planet even more, all you are doing is responding to your genetic drive that wants you to procreate like it's still would make a difference to the species survival. Well there's news for you, your brat won't matter, all it'll do is make things worse.

Blimey, now, that was a good rant.

You're on the spectrum, aren't you?

 

[Em3bbs]

I'm not passing judgement on anyone, merely stating a fact. And the fact is I'd rather have my family than travel or have money for leisure and holidays etc.., which is my personal choice, a choice just as valid as anyone else's.

How selfish, bringing children in this world just to make your own life better.