The OcUK Relationship Counselling and Hugs Thread

Agree with the guys above.
If she didn't mean anything you'd just say a couple of lines and not draw it out.

If you do still like her just call it a day. As it's obviously one way
 
I was just straight up honest...

I wouldn't have sent that last text tbh, but since you have I think she feels pressured to take you for a meal now. Don't reply to her question for a meal, see what she does. If she gets hold of you again, you know she's taking it a bit more serious

Also, find another date, keep your options open eh
 
So just over 2 months on from splitting up I've found out that my ex has just been on a romantic weekend in Paris with her new bf :eek: Has hit me right in the feels and mentality I'm in a similar sort of place to just after breaking up, having got to the stage where I was absolutely fine. Hoping that it passes faster this time although not helped by the fact I'm on holiday with not much else to do but dwell on it.. Bring on being back in work on Wednesday :o
 
How did you find out? If you've went looking for it on social media than you've only got yourself to blame, if you still have friends with her who've told you well then that's a lot more complicated other than politely asking them to not speak about her again.
 
We have mutual friends, saw her new profile picture as she had commented on something I looked at.

It is a bit of a complicated situation as without said mutual friends I'd be very isolated having moved between locations and circles of friends several times in the last few years. I'm in the process of buying a house, trying to be more active in forming new friends etc..

It's not the fact she's with someone else that's the problem (I'm also actively dating) as I'd accepted that was likely, it's the being apparently all loved up after such a short time which just makes a mockery of everything that was said during the relationship.
 
We have mutual friends, saw her new profile picture as she had commented on something I looked at.

It is a bit of a complicated situation as without said mutual friends I'd be very isolated having moved between locations and circles of friends several times in the last few years. I'm in the process of buying a house, trying to be more active in forming new friends etc..

It's not the fact she's with someone else that's the problem (I'm also actively dating) as I'd accepted that was likely, it's the being apparently all loved up after such a short time which just makes a mockery of everything that was said during the relationship.

Come on man!! Its social media, people only post the good things to make their lives look wonderful, amazing and for self validation. When offline they are far from it. Women are notorious for doing that.
 
Don't go looking if you can't handle what you may find.

As for the love thing, it's nonsense really, love isn't an everlasting feeling, just look at women who "fell in love" with men who killed their husbands and captured them during WW1 and 2. Fear is a far bigger motivator than love and even after they could willingly leave these men when the war ended they didn't. It's a feeling that only exists in the present and can change at the drop of a hat.
 
I know I know. It's all stuff I expected and was prepared for but that doesn't stop the feelings! Just hopefully makes it easier to move forwards. The real issue is the fact I'm sat in the sun with little else to do but think about it :o
 
So just over 2 months on from splitting up I've found out that my ex has just been on a romantic weekend in Paris with her new bf :eek: Has hit me right in the feels and mentality I'm in a similar sort of place to just after breaking up, having got to the stage where I was absolutely fine. Hoping that it passes faster this time although not helped by the fact I'm on holiday with not much else to do but dwell on it.. Bring on being back in work on Wednesday :o
My ex did the same thing lol, couldn't care less. What you need to do is isolate yourself away from her and her life. So social media etc just block her and hide all her posts/comments etc and you'll get over.her :) I had no problems with that but it's one way to do it.
 
Just block her.

I was in a bar in Cheltenham last weekend with my new girlfriend and my ex of all people walked in. After months of her not being in touch she messages me on WhatsApp. Shocker!
 
Blocking is def best until you really are over her. You'll know you are when you can unblock and be happy that she's moved on. But until then it'll only make you worse
 
As for the love thing, it's nonsense really, love isn't an everlasting feeling, just look at women who "fell in love" with men who killed their husbands and captured them during WW1 and 2. Fear is a far bigger motivator than love and even after they could willingly leave these men when the war ended they didn't. It's a feeling that only exists in the present and can change at the drop of a hat.

Christ that's a depressingly accurate take on love.
 
What did she say?
We had a dog together and asked me if I could look after him for a few days while she's moving house. I said sure and when I pressed for dates they were nonexistent. I believe she only got in touch just to actually speak to me rather than anything else. We've been apart for three years and she's stayed single as she's going through a lot of health issues and I think her seeing me happy with someone new made her miss me.

Or she could genuinely want me to look after the dog! Either way I'm not fussed.
 
It's not the fact she's with someone else that's the problem (I'm also actively dating) as I'd accepted that was likely, it's the being apparently all loved up after such a short time which just makes a mockery of everything that was said during the relationship.


You have a bad case of oneitis. A monkey doesn't move to her new tree without trying out the new banana fruit first, what's a short time for you, was longer for her. If you had many plates you would not care that she is having a last tango in Paris with Chad Thundercock.
 
We had a dog together and asked me if I could look after him for a few days while she's moving house. I said sure and when I pressed for dates they were nonexistent. I believe she only got in touch just to actually speak to me rather than anything else. We've been apart for three years and she's stayed single as she's going through a lot of health issues and I think her seeing me happy with someone new made her miss me.

Or she could genuinely want me to look after the dog! Either way I'm not fussed.

There's a good chance she text you just to annoy your gf, if she hadn't seen you, chances are low you'd have been on her mind while she's moving house.
 
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