Funeral speech

Sorry for your loss, OP.

I had to give the eulogy in front of 600 people at the funeral of a young lad who had committed suicide at the age of 21. Let's call him John.

I had known John's parents ever since they first started dating. l watched all of their six kids grew up (John was the youngest), I taught two of them, and I was involved with their lives. I was John's mentor, he was like a little brother to me, and a big brother to my own children. So this was a very painful time, but also a great privilege.

I talked about:

* my connection and history with his family
* the virtues of his parents
* the warm, loving family environment John had enjoyed
* his younger years, and the qualities that endeared him to everyone (John had a lot of friends, and I do mean real friends, not just acquaintances; absolutely everyone loved him)
* his characteristics (sincere, humble, spiritual, naive, affectionate, introspective, thoughtful, trusting, gentle, kind-hearted, intense, energetic)
* his spiritual growth
* some funny moments we'd shared
* the many ways he'd touched the lives of other people
* his hopes for the future

My personal feeling is that people need resolution at a funeral, and that this is best achieved by showing that the deceased's life was meaningful and purposeful. Definitely throw in a bit of humour to break up the darkness, but don't turn it into a comedy routine.
 
I had to do this for my dad recently... Had between 4 and 5 minutes to speak. I went with the approach of letting people see my relationship with him, so briefly covered childhood, later in life and near the end. In each of the sections I tried to get across a different message of how he was as a father and a friend. From a humours point of view, I just recalled two different times where he did something funny that was reflective of his normal persona.

Went down really well.
 
This is why I am going to do my own.

I figure I'll say my bits, keep it funny and then end it with my in some giant y-fronts doing the frank skinner pants dance.

It'll be a funeral people cry laughing at and hopefully help people to see the funny side of life.
 
I'd not try to be funny. You haven't been asked to speak to provide entertainment. You've been offered the opportunity to speak because they think you will want to share some memories with everyone else as part of the process of saying goodbye for the last time.

Maybe your fond memory or what they meant to you is a funny story that shows what they were like, but maybe it isn't.
 
h4rm0ny said:
I'd not try to be funny. You haven't been asked to speak to provide entertainment. You've been offered the opportunity to speak because they think you will want to share some memories with everyone else as part of the process of saying goodbye for the last time.

Maybe your fond memory or what they meant to you is a funny story that shows what they were like, but maybe it isn't.
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Although it's a time of sadness, to say goodbye, it's also a time to say what you're going to miss and talk about their lives.

If they were a funny character then there is nothing wrong with being funny, telling funny stories, making people remember her the way she was.

My family deal with everything with humour. My uncle had a very bad accident in the army when a abseiling tower fell down on him while he was working on. 10-15 pins and rods in his body, all his teeth and jaw wired back in. First thing he says is "could have been worse, could have been raining", my nan loses a leg to a blood clot, jokes made about being able to steal shoes from a shoe shop as they only put out one (or did at the time).

Humour is a part of healing. It's a way of saying, we're still here, we're still alive, it could be worse
 
AHarvey said:
Although it's a time of sadness, to say goodbye, it's also a time to say what you're going to miss and talk about their lives.

If they were a funny character then there is nothing wrong with being funny, telling funny stories, making people remember her the way she was.

My family deal with everything with humour. My uncle had a very bad accident in the army when a abseiling tower fell down on him while he was working on. 10-15 pins and rods in his body, all his teeth and jaw wired back in. First thing he says is "could have been worse, could have been raining", my nan loses a leg to a blood clot, jokes made about being able to steal shoes from a shoe shop as they only put out one (or did at the time).

Humour is a part of healing. It's a way of saying, we're still here, we're still alive, it could be worse
Click to expand...

I didn't say try not to be funny, I said don't try to be funny. I said maybe your fond memory is a funny story, but maybe it isn't. Of course people deal with things with humour sometimes. I am a member of the human race, you know? But it can also easily go wrong. My advice to the OP is - again - you're not there to entertain, you're there to say goodbye. Do what is to the purpose.
 
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