Alex Skeel: Domestic abuse survivor was 'days from death'

insane200 said:
Isn't the analogy about a Frog in water !!
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Yes, and it still doesn't work, for the reason I gave above.

I was in an abusive relationship once (emotional and psychological, not physical). I knew it was bad, but the experience was so exhausting, it took me many months to find the energy to extricate myself. It's even harder when you work with the person involved, as I did at the time.

I eventually got myself transferred to a completely different shift so I wouldn't have to see her. She came round to my place at 4am, shouting and bashing on the door for a good 15 minutes before I finally let her in, gave her a piece of my mind, and told her it was all over.

Never again.
 
Evangelion said:
Yes, and it still doesn't work, for the reason I gave above.

I was in an abusive relationship once (emotional and psychological, not physical). I knew it was bad, but the experience was so exhausting, it took me many months to find the energy to extricate myself. It's even harder when you work with the person involved, as I did at the time.

I eventually got myself transferred to a completely different shift so I wouldn't have to see her. She came round to my place at 4am, shouting and bashing on the door for a good 15 minutes before I finally let her in, gave her a piece of my mind, and told her it was all over.

Never again.
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That's good to hear, Hopefully his story will help other's realise it's not normal and find help or do what you did.
 
wolfie138 said:
i seriously have no idea what you guys [?] are talking about. my attitude was that his life was at risk and he said nothing/did nothing and should have reported her, and he was an idiot not to. you're saying that's an odd opinion. o-kay then. maybe when it happens yo you all, you'll sit there and let some woman dominate, abuse and injure you, doubtless you'll just sit back meekly and take it.
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I was in an abusive relationship with someone who was bi-polar and i didn't realise until much later she was doing things such as gaslighting me. Two things to say. 1) She was my first proper girlfriend and wife so i didn't have any knowledge as to what was a normal healthy relationship 2) Being in a abusive relationship can be like a frog on a hot plate situation. I didn't realise how bad it was until a event woke me right up and i just stopped the relationship dead. Cold turkey

Although it was nothing like the guy in OP's link it can happen
 
Damn son, he's aged brutally, went from an 8/10 Chad with a square jaw and wide set lips full of collagen to a balding bloke you'd see knocking around outside a jobcentre.

She looks like a lizard person.
 
iamtheoneneo said:
solid 8/10 but as they say....

never mess with crazy.

He was effectively groomed being so young in a relationship, must have been hard to establish what was actually normal behaviour!
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you wot mate.......... getting a hammer smashed in your face and hands is never normal behaviour under any circumstances, doesn't matter how young you are that is something that your brain should from the first time it happens register as highly abnormal.........
 
Still would though.

For safety, she'd have to let me gaffer tape oven mitts to her hands first. I insist on it for all my sexual partners....
 
Ayahuasca said:
Damn son, he's aged brutally, went from an 8/10 Chad with a square jaw and wide set lips full of collagen to a balding bloke you'd see knocking around outside a jobcentre.

She looks like a lizard person.
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LOL.

Yeah dude was normal looking bloke which is surprising....

But, as with these cases it's always psychological. Girls like that will deliberately target guys who are vulnerable to whatever mindgames they play. As are predatory men attracted to woman they know they can control.
 
Sad story to read, even worse when the dudes perceived as weak or whatever for not coming forward.

Hopefully this encourages more men to speak out, it's gross that this is the first case of a woman being prosecuted for coersive abuse there's definitely a lot more out there
 
Things can get messed up but not realising what she was doing is abuse and then either reporting it or banging her out is weird.

Personally I would equate his handling of the situation as indicative of underlying mental health issues for him.
 
Loads of stupid in this thread (well, one poster in particular but I ain't pointing fingers ;))


People don't enter an abusive relationship instantly. People fall in love, get together, move in, etc. Things that start off being fun and normal often very slowly deteriorate in to abuse and it goes unnoticed or a blind eye gets turned because the good outweighs the bad, there are no alternatives, or other reasons, whatever they may be. What was once a lovely healthy relationship devolves in to a weird setup where one partner is abusing the other and neither recognises it. It's weird, I've seen it happen a few times and only when they split up and go their separate ways do they look back and realise how wrong it was.
 
I agree with the people who say he should have known better. Whilst being subjected to it wasn't his fault it was totally in within his power to stop it.
People who side with the cool right wing attitude are no better than sheep... He knew what was happening to him, he just didn't want to face up to it. Totally within his power and strength to go out and get his own food, see his own family or stop her from hurting him.

From a female perspective its different as they are physically weaker.
What next, my ten year old son won't let me leave the house....

Queue people telling me I'm an idiot regardless of thousands of years of men being dominant of women, or that he didn't recognise the abuse because of love. I sure would recognise a punch in the face even if it was the sexist woman alive..

She deserved what she got none the less, abusing a position of power even if it is over someone who's terribly weak willed is an abuse of power, in this case it lead to physical harm which is illegal.

Let's be honest most of all of us have taken bit of psychological abuse from a girlfriend, they like to manipulate. It's their thing but we're well aware they doing it. I have a line and I'll let stuff slide for an easy life but cross that line and I'll bite back. To quote my favourite film. When the good times out weigh the bad, you know the parties over!
 
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I was personally in a very abusive relationship, and can completely empathise with his situation. As previously mentioned, it's a progression, and master manipulators have the ability to tear you down over time to a point where you truly believe that you cannot survive without the other person.

To all the macho men in here, you might read this and think that certain type of personalities lend themselves to being dominated (i.e: being a bit of a wallflower and introvert), but I'm the polar opposite and it happened to me, though not to this extent.
 
Supercow said:
I was personally in a very abusive relationship, and can completely empathise with his situation. As previously mentioned, it's a progression, and master manipulators have the ability to tear you down over time to a point where you truly believe that you cannot survive without the other person.

To all the macho men in here, you might read this and think that certain type of personalities lend themselves to being dominated (i.e: being a bit of a wallflower and introvert), but I'm the polar opposite and it happened to me, though not to this extent.
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^^ This.

At the time of my abusive relationship, I was suffering from depression. My capacity to make rational decisions and take initiative about my situation was utterly negligible.
 
One can easily imagine getting stuck in a scenario like this. If you live together it isn't necessarily just as easy as getting up and leaving, especially with someone particularly manipulative. I am sure there was a big part of his mindset that didn't want to leave her. Well done to the neighbours for raising the alarm.
 
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