The OcUK Relationship Counselling and Hugs Thread

I dont know what to do. When we first got togethee i had alarm bells ringing as tje kids were not with her but sjes gone out of her way to prove court documents and events of what happened. Her sister in particular is a very decent person and shes backed her story up soive just accepted it. Thing is im kinda settled now and all the children have a good relationship so do i just play it by ear and see what happens or just end it now in case something goes wrong in the future
 
You have to be absolutely sure that she is your forever-woman, do you want to marry her and are you ready to be a father to all of these three children for the rest of your life and support them financially for all that time?

If you're not ready to make that commitment, it's time to consider your relationship (and especially time to consider whether you are going to move in). It's a harsh reality, but better to face it now than in 1, 2, or 5 years time.

The answer to these questions might all be "yes", but make damn sure you've considered it before moving in.
 
I feel im definitely ready for that commitment, weve discussed getting married. I get on with the kids great and other than her financial worries things are great. I lve asked her on multiple occasions if shes sure she wants us to live together and she swears she does.
 
I just don’t understand how she could prove everything she claims about her kids and still have the court side with the father.

I’m not saying to walk away, it just sets off so many alarms.

You seem to really want it so I’d suggest having a frank conversation and get everything off your chest before making such a decision

If it was me I’d have walked away
 
Braver guy than me!

Benefits
Court sided with the father (rare)
Complete dependency on you.

Could never do it myself
 
I wont go into details but Yes it could be the case. Ive been with her 15 months now and shes well on the road to recovery and shes certainly not a sponger unlike my ex wife.

When i first went in to tje relationship i had my reservations but thought give it a chance and see what happens, the relationship has been amazing. Weve been on holiday together and simply do not fight. Communication is very good. I can't fault the relationship. She's taken on my son as her own as i have hers. Had a long talk bout it with her last night and she said she will do whatever shes has to to make it work as she doesnt want things to end.
 
I have looked in here a few times and although I'm not a talkative type of guy when it comes to this kind of stuff, I must thank others as just reading this thread helps at times.

Just wanted to ask others is there any truth in the old saying " If you love someone set them free & if they come back..."? seems like I've been firefighting for 17 years now... it's hard when you love someone and they just want to leave.:(
 
Electroshadow said:
I have looked in here a few times and although I'm not a talkative type of guy when it comes to this kind of stuff, I must thank others as just reading this thread helps at times.

Just wanted to ask others is there any truth in the old saying " If you love someone set them free & if they come back..."? seems like I've been firefighting for 17 years now... it's hard when you love someone and they just want to leave.:(
Click to expand...

Pretty much. It's a one sided relationship if you're doing all the heavy lifting. The happiest relationships are ones where both parties want to be there, instead of one person doing all the work and the other one constantly saying how they want out. Sometimes if you let the other person go they will learn what they are losing and come back. Other times, people will move on and find a more suitable partner and happier life.

It's better to be by yourself for a while and find out who you are than to be with someone who doesn't want you, and when your whole identity is tied up in trying to keep that person who doesn't want to be there.
 
Last edited:
Need a bit of a backstory I think fella, but love shouldn't be painful.

Yes it is hard work, but it shouldn't feel pain.

And no, there is no truth in sayings like that.
 
I'm going to give some advice: If you have got someone pregnant and you hardly know that person don't say i'm going stay with you just because its the right thing to do else you might end up like me, things are now on the edge i don't know what is going to happen, I met someone within two months of meeting her she was pregnant, I really liked her so i said i'm going to stay with you 18 years later i feel i have messed up. All my mates told me not to stay with someone just because you got them pregnant, I think i should have listened, I want this to continue but its really hard.
 
Electroshadow said:
I have looked in here a few times and although I'm not a talkative type of guy when it comes to this kind of stuff, I must thank others as just reading this thread helps at times.

Just wanted to ask others is there any truth in the old saying " If you love someone set them free & if they come back..."? seems like I've been firefighting for 17 years now... it's hard when you love someone and they just want to leave.:(
Click to expand...

You cant keep someone no matter how much you want to. At some point it will break. If you know that point is there its better to save everyone time and part.
Unfortunately length of time may not make any difference. And trying to Force it will make it worse.
 
So been going out with this girl for 4 months now and going great. But how do you know if they are ready for the next step? i.e sex lol Do i just ask? you guys gotta any moves? haha
 
You must log in or register to reply here.
Back
Top Bottom